jojodebo

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Okay, If you read all my drama in the early days, it's now been a year since my surgery. My last in 2007 was 10/05.  I was 189. 
On January 11th,  I weighed 168!! Wow, I can FINALLY say that I am GLAD I had this surgery and I WOULD do it again!!!

Unfortunately, I do not think I have found my sweet spot. But that's okay as long as the weight is coming off!!!

Got #5 on Sept 10th.  
I think there is a problem.  I am thinking when the doc went to refill me, he may have missed my port. I've been so hungry and thinking of food like crazy. Today I tried to eat stuff that I KNEW I would not be able to eat, just to see if I could.....just as expected, NO PROBLEMS. French fry with a big sip of coke would have sent me slimin', but nothing today. I'm freaking out.

I will be calling my doc in the morning. I can't live like this again!!! I'm already thinking of all the things I could chug down in the meantime.....not good.

Oh fyi, I'm down 47 pounds now.

Well, I just got fill #4. So far, this has been the most change I've noticed. Up to this point, I could eat a whole bag of chips with no problem...
NOT that I should've, but I COULD'VE! hahah
I don't get another fill until september, so I am going to work really hard to stick with the program...already I've noticed that I CANNOT drink with food even if I WANT TO! So that's good. 
I'm down 35 pounds to date.

Well, I get my fill in less than two days..........I'm counting the mili-seconds!!! I am SO UNRESTRICTED!!! I can and DO eat almost anything! It's ridiculous! 
Tonight I went to Chinese and ate 2 plates, no problem! Isn't that pathetic???? 
Well, I'm just praying the magic happens like everyone says! Cause I am soooo sick of being a fat fatty!!!
D

 Man, it has really been so rough. But I think, I THINK, I may be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.  As of about Sunday, I've improved drastically in the pain department. I've slept on my stomach this week and on my left side, which was so nice....maybe the bedsores on my right hip will go away, LOL!  
I went to a support group Tuesday night. I was sooo distraught afterwards.  There were about 75 people there and only 3 of us had lapband. So naturally everyone wanted to discuss bypass and all the stuff they were eating 3 days out, blah blah blah.  It made me just wish so bad that I could reverse time and have bypass....all these people dumping 50 pounds in a month. It was crazy.  
Anywho, the speaker, (although I had heard her whole speech before), made a few points that at the time I thought were just so obvious that it was ridiculous to mention.  NO grazing/snacking and NO overeating. I thought, DUH! Then she said you have to have a schedule that fits your lifestyle. You have to choose how many meals you will have a day and stick to it. Also, she gave her schedule as an example....she gets almost ALL her protein in before dinner so that she is flexable a night.

Well, anyway, I really started thinking about it, and now that I am 4 weeks out, I am allowed to have soft foods. And my doctor said that if I tolerated things without pureeing them, then fine.  So, with that said, I have decided that I have got to stop thinking of ALL the negatives and just get with the program.  I have not been following the rules as far as fluids, protein and pills.  So I made a spread sheet that is super simple and I keep it on my fridge. 

Calories	Protein	Fluids	Pepcid	Vitamin	B12
	I I I I    I I I I  I I I I	I I I I    I I I I  I I I I	I       I	I       I	I
	I I I I    I I I I  I I I I	I I I I    I I I I  I I I I
	I I I I    I I I I  I I I I	I I I I    I I I I  I I I I
	I I I I    I I I I  I I I I	I I I I    I I I I  I I I I

I just total up my calories and fill them in as I eat them, then total it at the end of the day. I'm sure you catch my
drift with my little lines representing 5.

And here's what I ate yesterday:

7 am    vitamin & Pepcid with 10 oz water  & B12

8:30      1/2 C egg beaters, 1 slice full fat cheese, 1 slice Ham (omelet style), 1 slice toast no butter
              (240 Calories, 26 Protein)

9-12      20 oz water

12:30ish    1 3oz can Tuna with 2T full fat cream cheese ( I hate mayo), 1 slice of bread ( I made 1/2 sandwich, 1/2 bowl)
              (260 calories, 25 Protein)

1-4        20 oz water   vitamin & pepcid

5:00      11 oz Protein shake   (160 calories, 15 Protein)

6:00      1/2 C Mahatma yellow rice,  1/2 C Lesuer Peas, 1 slice toast
              (320 Calories, 11 Protein)

7:00      8 oz  water

9:00      8 oz SF cocoa   (60 calories)


That's about 900 calories,  77 oz fluids,  77 grams Protein

So that's my goal for today too.  I may change it up somewhat as far as dinner goes, but with my protein in early,
it helps to be able to eat dinner with my family like normal.

      I am so over this............I guess that's why they call it 
                                     "bandster hell"..

                                             IT IS!!!
I am so hungry. I've been hungry since the 10th day out.  And I'll admit it, I've eaten some stuff. Not anything major, some cashews, some goldfish....whatever is small and laying around after the kids snacks, haha. But today, I've really blown it.  So far today, I've had 1 can of cream of potato soup, 2 cups of sf cocoa, 4 WW toffee ice cream bars, 2 cups of Wendy's chili with 10 crackers in each cup and another can of potato soup.  While cleaning up dinner I ate 2 leftover bagel bites from my kids' plate and now I'm sipping of 2 packs of sf cocoa again. I think when I get done typing I'll have another ice cream bar, at least it's fat free. 
Spare me, I can totally eat whatever whenever.  Nothing gets stuck, nothing is difficult to swallow and I don't get full at all. So I am definitely in hell at this point. I know, I know, the magic begins with the fills.........well that's a freakin' month away!! What about in the meantime????  I'm a closet fat girl again, sneaking away to eat yet another bite!
I really feel like I made a mistake, I've had nothing but problems with my incisions and I'm still in pain when I bend  or get up out of a chair.  The doctor gave me some antibiotic last Monday that I had a reaction too....let's just say I could've been the elephant woman. I was so broken out in hives that my eyes would barely open. I was just absolutely COVERED in read burn welps. I still have them on my neck and chest, but my face looks normal again for the first time today...six days later.  My DR. said he's never had a patient have a reaction like that,......story of my life!
ANywho, just thought I'd post this in case later on, when I'm FINALLY glad I had the surgery, some other newby might be encouraged that they are not alone and that they aren't the only one who snuck around and ate real food before their first fill.........
Now, where's that Ice Cream...................

Well, I can't cut it on stage 2 anymore even though I'm 2 weeks out.  I've decided to just move on the stage 3 instead of sabotaging myself by snacking of little things thru out the day and trying to convince my self that it's okay to do it because it's nowhere NEAR the snacking I used to do.  So for anyone interest,ed, here is what I'm going by:

PUREED/SOFT FOOD STAGE 3 SAMPLE MENU
		My Variation
Breakfast:		(EARLY 11 oz protein shake) upcal
High-Protein Food	2 TBSP Scrambled Eggs or Cottage Cheese	1/4 Cup Veg Egg Beaters
Fruit	2 TBSP mashed, canned peaches in own juice	2T Ketchup
Between Meal Liquids:
30 Minutes Later	4 oz skim milk	milk with upcal
30 Minutes Later	4 oz skim milk	tea with sugar substitute
30 Minutes Later	4 oz crystal Light	water
30 Minutes Later	4 oz water	milk
Lunch:
Protein Food	2-4 TBSP tuna with mayo	3 oz can Tuna/ 2T cream cheese
Fruit	1-2 TBSP unsweet applesauce	2 T mashed fruit cocktail in its juice
Vegetable	1-2 TBSP mashed, canned carrots	2 T mashed Le Suer peas
Between Meal Liquid:
30 Minutes Later	4 oz light yogurt	tea
30 Minutes Later	4 oz water	water
30 Minutes Later	4 oz light yogurt	yogurt with upcal
30 Minutes Later	4 oz diet Jell-o	sf jell-o
Dinner:
Protein Food	2-4 T fine chopped chicken with gravy	2T ground chicken with 1T jarred gravy
Starch	1-2 T mashed potatoes	2T mashed potatoes w/ butter & Salt
Vegetable	1-2 T mashed canned peas	2T mashed Le Suer peas
Between Meal Liquids:
30 Minutes Later	4 oz skim milk	yogurt with upcal
30 Minutes Later	4 oz skim milk	tea
30 Minutes Later	4 oz crystal light	tea
30 Minutes Later	4 oz water	water
		920 calories
		59 oz liquid
		67 g protein

Well, it's been 9 days.  I am doing much better today. But I am still far from healed.  On Tuesday's appt., I was down 12.5 lbs....so that's pretty good, I think.  According to my scales, I'm down almost 19 pounds now. 
My incisions are really getting on my nerves. They started itching like CRAZY last night.  I put some benedryl cream on them and that seems to help, but they are really red and irritated looking.

I went for a drive to the grocery store today, my first time to drive since the surgery.  It wasn't all that easy.  I mean reaching to shut the door really pulled on the cuts. And getting in and out of my truck was a bit awkward.  I think I will wait a couple days before driving again. 

I tell you, I'm amazed at how good I'm doing with no diet pills and no caffienne.  I mean I was a total Diet Coke addict and I don't miss it a bit.... NOT ONE BIT!   

Overall, this has really been much harder on me physically than I thought it would be.  I thought I'd be good to go in 3 or 4 days and that has NOT been the case.  I sware I have a bed sore on my right hip because it's the only comfortable position to sleep in..... I'm ready to move freely in bed again......Goodness, when will that day come?????

Also, today has been my hardest day so far with head hunger.  I mean I really feel like I could eat everything in sight today.  I am trying SO hard to not let my decision to have this procedure, affect everyone around me.  So I've been cooking every night nearly, picking up KFC and Captain D's....which smells amazing!!  Ohhhhh, just one bite........ but I've done good with my temptations.... don't get me wrong, I licked the spoon clean of ziti sauce before dumping it into the sink....  who's perfect?  I've even licked the potatoes off the baby spoon when feeding my 1 yr old.. now that's pathetic,hahaha.........

I will be posting pics soon.
Probably Tuesday.  so I can do a before and a 2 week difference.

Well, the "weight" is finally over, hahaha.........
I had my surgery Tuesday, January 9, 2007.  And I came home yesterday (10th).
I have to say, this hasn't been the easiest thing in my life.  I for some reason didn't expect this much discomfort.  I kept hearing how it's less invasive than gall bladder surgery, but let me just say, I hurt!  
I have 5 incisions, almost in a row across my tummy, above my belly button.  The largest one is on my left side and it is still extremely painful when I try to stand or sit.......or breathe deep.....or adjust in bed.  but when I am up walking around, I feel pretty good.  
I haven't gotten sick at all.  So that's good.
The good news is, after doing the liquid diet, I lost 7 pounds. I thought I would still be hungry after having the surgery and to my surprise, I am SOOO NOT hungry at all!  I did a protein shake yesterday and probably 20 ounces of other clear liquids.....just every so often thru out the afternoon.  I feel like I need to burp and I just can't. That's driving me crazy!
So, I'll post again tomorrow.

232/224/130

Well, it's 2 pm on Monday, January 8th.  I have to admit, I'm having a bit of anxiety over my decision. I know it will SOO be worth it. But at the same time, I just don't want to let my family down ONCE AGAIN, ya know?  I am really committed to making this work, but I'm just nervous, as I'm sure most people are.
I pray so hard that this will be the answer I've been looking for.
This time tomorrow, I will have been out of surgery for almost 4 hours..................Yikes............