Regain

Nov 11, 2019

Well I'm sad to say 7 years out and I'm not sure whether my pouch failed me or I failed my pouch. Either way I feel absolutely horrible.  My lowest weight was 330. I maintained that for years. Maintenance got tough in 2015. I was pregnant with my 2nd child. It was a tough pregnancy constantly being taken out of work due to bleeding for the last 6 months of pregnancy.  Drs were always preparing me for a miscarriage.  It was very stressful and I noticed while pregnant I was able to eat more. It was strange. When baby came the full feeling came back. I regained about 20lbs after cooking that lil bun in my oven. I lost the weight in a yr. In 2017 I got pregnant again.  I had a miscarriage :( dr said my lil angel had spinal bifida and its nature way of correcting a mistake in DNA :( I was depressed.  I miscarried at 3.5 months.i gained weight and was put on antidepressants. At the end of the yr. I discovered to be pregnant and hid it for most of the pregnancy, scared I would miscarry again.  In April 2018 I had a beautiful tiny son. I was happy again sorta. I was diagnosed with post partum and well after 3 pregnancies ( 2 live births) I regained. But wait there's more. My mom got kidney cancer. Kidney removed in August 2019, then September 2019 my husband who is the primary money maker got a hip replacement.  So I am juggling 2 jobs, caring for my mom ,husband,  my 3 kids ....forgot to mention I got a 13 yr old girl. Anyhow I got a lot on my plate and although I am active and busy I dont always find time to eat what or when I should. I went from my lowest weight of 330 and regained 40 lbs. I am currently in the range of 368 and 370 :( I am aware nobody will probably read this but I need to write this for me. If by any chance someone is reading this any advice will be welcome. 

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