nena S.

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WELL, I know its been a while since i last posted, mostly because i havent had any other new news, that is until today. The administrator of the clinic where i work has just informed us that he and the rest of the hospital heads are tyring to get us better benefites from BCBS. Cause right now we have crap that will hardly pay anything. *ex. i had a $600 test preformed on my heart (more or less an ultrasound) and after insurance payed what all they were going to pay i was left with over $440. and by time we pay copay, we are paying twice as much for meds that hardly do any good.* I am going to try to change the look of my profile here shortly. im getting bored with the butterflies and such. Hopefully it will look good. 
stay tuned for more news to come!

nena

Well i hope everybody had a great weekend... I know mine was pretty evenfull.  We had Jacob and Scott stay over friday night. We went and bought HUGE pumpkins then went out to eat. When we got home, while it was too cold to carve the pumpkins outside, i layed some plastic on the living room floor, got some big pots, and put in one of the movies that they picked out. Nacho Libre. It was kind of corney but they enjoyed it. While we carve our pumpkins, i kept thinking to myself, "Man, its a good thing i put plastic down." Cause if i didnt, i would have had one heck of a mess on my carpet.they were tossing to pumpkin guts on eachother and afterwords, they both took a bath to get cleaned up. I guess they were trying to see who would fall asleep first, usually its scott. But jake was the first to doze off.... AT 2:30 IN THE MORNING! I was kind of surprised that Scott stayed up that late, usually he's out by 10:30. Saturday, after we all got up and ate we decorated the outside of the house. It doesnt look too bad. I should have some pictures up after i get my film developed. Still no word on how the insurance thing is going. I asked my hubby what he would think about doing the self pay, he told me no and that i should wait until HE GETS HIS LOAN PAID OFF, He has been trying to pay off this stupid loan for almost 5 years now. He would have it paid off by now if he would stop borrowing money. but i figured what could it hurt since im the one who is going to be paying on it and not him.... if i dont do this now, it will never get done, all i have to do is just call the surgeon's office and find out what we can do. I just got to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best!

Hey it's me again.... i got to thinking and i decided that i would put a list of things i want to do after i get my weight under controll... so here it goes...

PROBLEMS AS OF NOW:
1. hypertension
2. Anxiety
3. Chronic headaches that last 3-4 days at a time
4. Shortness of breath upon exertion
5. Unable to enjoy sex with hubby... feel ashamed of myself and the way i look, i feel like there are times where he does not want me.
6. Fatugie
7. Constant swelling of hands, feet, ankles and sometimes legs.
8. Constant joint pain in my hips and knees and back.
9. Finding clothes that fit and actually look good for a 22 year old... i really dont like to wear things that my grandmother would wear. (no offense to you older women.)
10. Play sports at family reunions or with my brothers.

Things I would like to achieve AFTER:

1. Get rid of the hypertension and no longer need meds for it.
2. Get rid of the anxiety
3. No longer have fatigue
4. Have my hubby not be able to keep his hands off of me. lol
5. be able to run 2 miles and actually enjoy it.
6. Find and buy CUTE clothes that are right for my age and actually fit me.
7. Be able to fit into a resturant booth and not have my stomach in my chest.
8. Be able to fit into a movie theater seat without having my thighs pushed up and squashed together.
9. Go to my highschool reunion and not have anybody recognize me (that would be SO GREAT!!)
10. Be able to play sports with my younger brothers or at family reunions..
11. Look good in a bathing suit... preferably a bikini.
12. When my father gets out of prision, he wouldnt be able to tell who i am...
13. Have my grandfather stop bribing me with money to lose weight *Grrrrrrr*
14. Have the self esteem to do things i have never done before, and most of all
15. have children
16. Live a long and healthy life

I think I am about fed up on waiting to hear from the social workers around here regarding my case... I was in the shower last night ( I do some of my best thinkin' in the shower..) and thought to myself, I said "Self, why are we waisting time here doing nothing while you could be doing something?" SOO i decicded that I would give the surgeon's office a call and find out about self payment options. If they could work out some kind of payment plan like on a monthly basis, that would be great. I need to explore my options on this surgery payment wise or else nothing else is going to happen. I am hanging on a cliff here and the longer i wait to hear back from the social workers, the closer i am to falling off the edge. Its like they say, if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself.

Who ever said patience is a virtue was so full of crap that its not even funny. It's been almost over a month since my case was turned over the social worker (regarding the insurance problem...They want to see if there are any loop holes that i can go through to get qualified for surgery) and I still havent heard anything. I can only take so much of waiting till I become pissy... and they arent going to like that very much...So i guess for now i need to keep calm and later on i will ask my nurse if they have heard anything... i will keep you updated..