Kathymia

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I leave for Bogota tomorrow morning and have every emotion possible going thru my head. I feel confident all will go well ,however at the same time I keep saying to myself" what are you doing" .I'm scared I will regret this operation.....then again I am excited at the long term benefits.I'm sure I'll be miserable the first month getting used to liquids and pureed foods, but hopefully I will be able to be positive and not give in to head hunger and negative thinking.
I keep reminding myself of all the limitations I have in life because of this weight! All the comorbidities I deal with every day and the quality of life I am missing . 
What rational mind would accept having ashma, knee and joint pains, not sleeping well, not looking good ,no fun in my life to  prefering a chocolate mousse ??? Only an addicted personality!There is so much out there that I could do if I lost the weight !! I just need to think positively, accept I won't be too happy the first couple of months and deal with it. I CAN DO THIS ...I WANT MY LIFE BACK..SO ....here I go...a huge leap of faith and underneath I know I'll be fine and so much happier in the long run...I will take this in babysteps to the finish line! GO ME !!!
I've gained a bit of the weight back I had lost but I'm not worried...I know one thing for sure...I will be losing it very soon !!!LOL
ThanK God I have been to Colombia before and speak Spanish ...at least it will be a little vacation away from home!! I'll be fine and will do great. God brought me here and will see me thru this! 

See you all on the losing side !

Two weeks left till surgery !! I'm nervious and excited...a bit scared but looking forward to results. I try to dwell on the positive and not let my mind think of the negatives....
I'm so happy to have found OH and the support it provides. I especially want to thank Lindalee and Lisa V for answering my questions and offering their support and frienship.
My Doctor doesn't make us do a pre-op diet , he feels we have sufficient stress just preparing for the WLS , however I have been trying to eat healthy and eliminate any fast food and sodas. I'm doing well, have lost 11 lbs to date. 
I finally recieved my passport...so I'm all ready to go .I've bought all my vitamins and protein supplements, Crystal Light, V8 juice, cooked soups and frozen broth , Jello's and applesauce.....I wish actually that the surgery was next week ...more time goes by , the more I just feel like shopping and buying things that I probably won't need or like !!! 

I am praying this surgery will go well and I won't have complications, especially as I will be in Colombia and not here in the US!  I'm confident it will ...
Hugs to all my friends and any support is very much appreciated.

267/ 258/150
SW/current/ goal

3 weeks left till surgery ! Still nervous about it but working on my mental hunger issues etc. 

267/ 259/150
SW/current/ goal.

Lost a lb. yeah me!
Great news , my friend  Claudia from  El Salvador is here in Miami.Turns out her friend Ximena just had WLS ...what a coincidence.Now I have another friend who will go through this journey ,so it will be fun to compare our trials and tribulations!I'm so happy I found Oh , this is a huge help for anyone contemplating or going thru WLS.There is so much information and support available.
I reserved my flight to Bogota today ,so now this is really happening....I keep freaking out about the food anxiety ....hoping I won't be in total withdrawal after surgery ! I love food...then again who doesn't , and mentally I wonder if I am really prepared to let go. I think I am going to need to see a shrink about this .For now I am trying to take it day by day and think of all the positives ,not dwell on the negatives.
I'm down 8 lbs since I started watching what I eat so maybe I'll be down 10 more by surgery day. I'll take whatever comes,happily. Still smoking..nicotine demon just won't let go ....My doctor said yesterday he would give me a little hipnosis about smoking while I'm under  LOL.

Till tomorrow everybody..be well.

I'm so happy, my Dr. is back from holiday and I was able to speak with him in Colombia. He was very nice and answered all my questions.Basically I'm ready to go ! I asked him about my smoking and he just told me to cut down as much as possible and stop day before surgery. They are much more lax it seems in South America , however this is not intended to let me off the hook.I WILL make a large effort to quit !! I leave it up to God to help me with this.
As far as pre-op dieting he told me not to stress about it, just to start eating  healthy foods, protein and veggies ,didn't say anything about liquids , but I do plan to do liquids for a couple of days before surgery, just to get the hang of what to expect afterwards.
I still haven't recieved my passport back and don't want to reserve my flight and then have to change the date ! 
I checked my hotel and hospital in Bogota and they are both 1st Class ,so I am relieved to know this and know I will be well taken care of .
Went out to Walmart to get some more provisions !!! Bought Flinstone chewables with iron , Rolaids, Beef Jerky .Still haven't bought any shakes .........Then after watching Oprah the other day where there was a whole segment on pillows and how one should replace every 3 years, I figured my 10 yr pillows were in desperate need of replacing.Also I wanted some better ones to come home to after surgery. I figure I will need more support to sit up and I want my bedroom to look nice and inviting when I get back from Colombia.
I hadn't been to Walmart in agesss and am reminded of the good deals they have ! Considering the expense of self-paying this surgery I probably will become a more frequent buyer!!
On  a more indulgent note MY EARRINGS got here and I was delighted ,they are beautiful and make me feel good....I know, superficial ,but if I hadn't bought them no one else would!!! Sometimes I think we need to spoil ourselves just a little bit !
Have made a new friend on OH called Lindalee1  who is also going to have RYN soon and we have been emailing eachother.Thanks Linda for the support and I will be there for you too.

As of today I am:
267/ 260/150
SW/current/ goal.

267-262-150
Starting weight/current/goal

Getting nervous as the date for my surgery approaches! Since I'm going to Colombia I have to plan ahead and leave everything organized.Don't want to get home and find a mess , bills not paid etc....
Also not sure I want to leave my son ,who is 18 alone at home...not that he won't be fine, just don't want to worry that he's partying or bringing friends home ! Ahh teenagers!!! I'm sure all you moms can relate.

Stocked up yesterday on Crystal Light, B12 liquid vitamin, sugar free popsicles, protein bullets from bariatriceating.com, and some broth .
I want to make sure I don't have to grocery shop to early on post op.

Not doing good with my smoking or my quitting smoking...will have to speak to the Dr. on Saturday when he gets back from vacation.

Here is my to do list that I am looking forward to doing:

- Weigh under 200 lbs
-Crossing  my legs
-Feel comfortable going to the movies
-Walking and not feeling out of breath
-Climb a flight of stairs without getting winded
-Enjoying the gym.......not hating it.
-Sleeping well without tossing and turning
-Taking a trip to visit friends in Europe 
-Breathing better without ashma and Albuterol
-Finding a new job 
- Feeling confident about how I look
-Buying a dress and looking good in it
-Wearing high heals again.
- Making new friends and seeing old ones!
-Painting my toenails .

This is for starters! 
Can't wait to finally speak to my Dr. in Colombia.He's on holiday and I haven't spoken to him personally, only emails..I'm still waiting for my passport to get here..should be soon , I hope!

Hugs to all that read my blog...hoping to make some new friends here at OH. If anything this is just good therapy for me, writing my thoughts.

265/261/150
Highest/Current/Goal

Preparing for my trip. Did some online shopping ,bought some sleepwear and some comfy clothes for the trip to Bogota.Not alot as I don't want to spend money on clothes that will not fit me very soon!
I did however buy a beautful pair of 18K gold earrings....sort of a congratulations to me , for taking this step ! I'm worth it, or  so I repeat every day as a Mantra!!!
I know this will be a huge change in lifestyle and I do welcome it ...just hope there won't be any complications in surgery.
I'm having a really hard time giving up smoking ! I've smoked for 30 years and just can't seem to let go. 
One month till surgery ......

I have a tentative surgery date for Feb. 8th in Bogota.
Right now I am feeling very confused and a bit scared to have the RYN ....it seems so drastic....I'm debatting whether I should maybe have the sleeve done instead !!! The last week I have been reading all the message boards and peoples experiences , which has been very helpful...although sometimes scary! I just feel that I'll never be able to eat again! I know I should be concentrating on all the positives the surgery will bring me, but I keep dwelling on the negatives which for me is no more food...I know, I sound like a broken record!
I guess everyone is scared at the beginning and after surgery and this is normal. 
I look forward to making some friends here on OH and supporting others.
Would love to have any input . If there is anyone here from Miami please contact me as I would like to join a support group, one that won't mind if I had my surgery south of the border!!!

I'm not very familiar how this website works and don't know how to add the weight ticker ..any help would be great.

Thanks to all.
Kathy
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