kconklin

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Well almost two weeks have passed since my surgery, which I had on 9/30.  I had promised I was going to keep this updated and write as soon as I got home from the hospital, but that didn't happen.  I had the time and I could have,  but I am a great procrastinator and do not like to write, plus I was emotionally drained.

I went in for surgery on Thursday 9/30 and was released on Sunday afternoon 10/3.  It waws not bad from what I can recall, they kept me pretty painfree!  It was when I got home that the "fun" started.  I was an emotional wreck.  Alot of that had to do with me loosing my job on my birthday 9/17 and money was tight. I wasn't sure how we were going to survive.  Then about 4 days after I got home I got word that my mother in Indiana was gravely ill and not planning to live.  I could not fly to see her as they were concerned about blood clots if I flew.  She passed on 10/11 my husbands birthday.  So I had the loss of my job, financial stress, surgery then the loss of my mother 11 days after surgery.  Good news in I am still hanging in there.  What saved me was my trust in God and alot of walking.  Pain wise I seemed to turn a corner on about my 5th day home. I am a side sleeper not a back sleeper so it was hard to sleep for the first 5 days and I kept waking up. I am sure stress had alot to do with it as well.

I went for my post op (2 week) appt today and I never thought I would be so excited to have pureed foods.  The liquids about killed me.  The last two days I thought I was going to loose it, I mean I was so sick of sf jello, soup, protein shakes and sf pudding.  I just wanted something else to eat!  I knew I had my post opt in 2 more days and I could do this, so I stuck with it and have now graduated to puree foods...I am in heaven!  More on this tomorrow... 

I slept so so, but woke up at 5:00AM to go to the bathroom and was not able to get back to sleep.  I don't need to be at the hospital until 9:00 but the laxative seemed to have kicked in again. I did not have any problems through the night until I woke up at 5:00.

Today I am not scared or worried any more. Today I am ready to get this done. It is weird all the emotions I have gone through. I know I have made the right decision and I just want to get this done now.  I know I am in good hands with God and I know all the prayers from everyone are working, as I can feel myself being at peace with it all.

I took this at 2:00 PM and It is now working at 7:30....oh boy is it working.  I thought it would only take 30 minutes or so not five and a half hours.  Luckily I have been on pretty much of a liquid pre opt diet.  I'm feeling a bit sick but I think it is just nerves.

I will write more after my surgery, not sure if I will have access to internet or feel like it but will post as soon as I can.

I have received so much love and support from all of you here and I want to thank you all.  I hope I can be such an encouragement to others who have up coming surgeries.  I just drank my magnesium citrate about 2:00 PM so I am in for the day.  I am only to have clear liquids and jello until midnight then I fast for my surgery.  I am having surgery at Alta Bates Hospital in Oakland.  So far my surgeon seems wonderful.

I did all my pre-opt labs yesterday, blood work, ekg, urine sample and chest xray.  I have a call into the nurse as I take some medication on a regular basis and not sure if I am to continue or hold off until after surgery.

I was scared and second guessing myself yesterday and this morning, but I have calmed down after talking to friends who have had surgery and remembering that this will be a wonderful new beginning for me.  I am letting go of the fact that I can't eat this or how to eat that.  That is my food addiction talking to me.  I am remembering that I am doing this because I have tried one diet after another and allthough I would loose weight, I never could keep the weigth off.  Being slim is a big part of it, but more importantly I want to be healthy.  I am going to be able to fit into clothes again and be comfortable, I am going to be able to go on walks, ride an amusement ride, cross my legs, fly in an airplane comfortability just to name a few things that "normal sized people" take for granted. 

I am committed to attending a support group and have met many wonderful women here,  close to where I live that have luncheons and activities.

I am at peace and I am ready!

Well after a long road the time has finally come for my surgery.  I gave up cigarettes, cafeeine, soda and carbs and on 9/30/10 I will begin my new life.  I was terminated from my job on 9/17, my birthday, and when I saw my surgeopn for my pre-op appointment, they were going to postpone me as I was pretty stressed out.  I spoke to the psycholigist on staff and after ww had a talk she advised my surgeon that I would be mentally ok to have the surgery on the 30th.

I am going through so many emotions now.  I have lost 18 pounds pre-op and was to loose 10.  I am anxious, scared, happy all at once.  I think about how well I am doing on pre-op so if I just do this, I will loose weight and won'ri know this is om anxiout need the surgery, but that is how all my diets begin and then I an never keep it up and go back to old habits and gain all the weight back plus more.  I know this is what is best for me.  I have thought long and hard about it.  I have been told that I am taking the easy way out and for any of you going through this process, you know this is no easy way out.

I plan to get a blog going of my journey.  As this is where I cam eto for my support before and will continue to come to after my surgery for suggections and support on how to maintain my weight loss and the issues we go through.  I also pan on attending the support group through my surgery center through Alta Bates in Oakland, CA.  My surgeon Dr. Kim has been awesome up to this point as well as their staff.

More to follow....