kelibr

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What is that?  I was called skinny today and was shocked.  I still see my self as curvy and definitely not skinny.  This is all still messing with my mind.  But I am ~10 lbs away from my goal weight.  I feel good and I am not going to worry about labels.  Just keep getting it.  One thing I didn't anticipate is needing my boobs fixed.  They are gone.. which is fine with me.. but they sag.. So I may look into a fix... not bigger just to put them back where they belong. =)  Other than that I can't really fuss about how I look.  The gym has really helped.  Speaking of gym.. gotta go!

Well I am 0.2 away from a "normal BMI". First I never thought I would get here.  Much less in 6 1/2 months.. it's been amazing and my body has changed so much.  I always wondered what "normal" would look like and it doesn't look like what I expected.  Not that I am disappointed, just confused.  But I am sure part of that is mental and I need to work on seeing what everyone else sees.  It's hard and definitely a process.  I can say I am doing things now I would have never done before...and it's wonderful.

I tried not to worry or weigh more than once a day this weekend =)
We had a great time with our boys.  My oldest went to his first day of kindergarten today.  I can't believe the little preemie I could hold in one hand is now big enough to go to school.  I am so proud of him and totally amazed.

The scale did drop a little.  (about 1 1/2 lbs)  I am not sure what's going on but my ankles are swollen a little.  I haven't had a lot of sodium and I am getting in 60oz of fluids.  Maybe that's why the scale will not move.  I am eating right so I just have to be patient. 

Trying to stay positive....

  I was prepared for stalls... but at 3 weeks.  Give me a break.  I haven't seen the scale move (except up 0.2lbs) all week.  How is this possible?  I eat 500-600cal... 30 carbs...80g protein... and drink my water.  I exercise everyday.  What is going on.  I have to go back to the doctor on Wed and unless there are some major changes... I bet I will not have lost a pound clothes on.  I am doing everything they said. I am afraid once again I will get on that scale and another skinny nurse will look at me like a failure.  It should be required that all nurses that work for OB/GYNs (former embarrassment when I was pregnant with my last son)  and WL surgeons be fat or WLS patients.   I am exhausted.

I don't know what's going on. I am loosing well and I have been able to tolerate everything I have tried so far. I just feel like I am in a funk.  I am so tired all the time.  Nothing is fun anymore.  It's the strangest thing. I just want to sleep all day.   Of course I can't because I am at work.  Everything takes so much effort.  I am short fused with my kids (although they are spoiled rotten and would benefit from me being firmer with them.)  My husband says I am miserable all the time.  I don't think  so but I am not my normal up beat self.  I am usually the one cheering people up but it's like I can't pick my self off the floor.  My coworker thinks it's because I am in starvation mode and my body is just resisting.  I just wonder is this normal.... 22 days post op.. and if so please tell me it doesn't stick around...

Kelly

Today I noticed the first real difference in my clothes.  A pair of pants that were tight two weeks ago are falling down.  I am excited about that for sure.  In some respects it still seems unreal.  I am loosing nearly a pound a day right now.  I know that will change.  I worry it will all come to an end far from my goal.  I worry I will make the wrong choices in food.  I worry I will never have energy again.  (I am so tired).  I look in the mirror and don't see any difference.  I am sure it will be a while before I can tell things are changing.  

I am confused about how much I should be eating and how many calories a day I should be taking in at this point.  I have looked over all the information but it pretty much is once you get past week 7 and are eating regular foods.  So I keep chugging along.  I eat somewhere around 500 to 600 cal a day.  I hope I am doing the right things to set my self up for success. 

As for exercise I am walking at a 2.5mph pace.  It's slow but I try to make it at least a mile to a mile 1/2.  Honestly I don't have the energy to go faster.   I am worried about upping my calories.  Yikes.. too many decisions and choices.  It would be nice if they told you eat X ounces or X calories at X week.  Rather than just focusing on get X g of protein.  That hasn't been a problem for me at all.  I do two shakes a day and puree and get around 70g.  I could do one more shake and get 90 g a day.  I may try that.  It would give me a 150 extra calories and maybe some more energy.

I am getting in about 40 ounces of fluids a day.  I am trying to get in more but I find they don't go down as easily as they did in the first week.  Plus it's harder waiting before and after meals.  I feel every time I take a sip I have someone sticking their finger on my throat.  I hope that will get easier and the liquids will go down better in the coming weeks.  I do hope I am getting some liquid from the puree.  Today for lunch I have, fresh puree plum, puree chicken salad and puree black bean and salsa soup.  Normally I puree about 2 oz of each and eat it for lunch and dinner.  So getting about 3 oz each meal.  

Overall I am happy with the surgery.  I don't "mourn" foods.  I just wish I felt more certain that what I am doing on a daily basis is correct...

Today is my first day back to work.  So far everything seems ok.  I am not tired.  I have a sack of pureed food and plenty of water.  I am still getting tired in the afternoon.  I worry about that today since I have a meeting 2 hours away at 7pm tonight.  Lucky I am not driving so I can sleep on the way.  Not professional I know, but my coworkers know I am post-op. =)  I go back for my follow up tomorrow.  My scale shows I am down 13 lbs.  It will be nice to see what Dr. Enochs scale says.   So far I haven't had trouble with anything I have eaten.  But I only eat a few spoons at a time and eat really slowly.  I am sure I could have more but I don't want to push it.  All in all I have never had the "what have I done" feeling.  It still may come but so far I am very pleased.

It's awesome to loose weight so quickly.  I do get discouraged when I don't have the energy I want to have or the mental focus to do what I need to do.  I haven't yet had the "what have I done moment".  I do have to say the clear liquids were  hard.  I am not getting my full 80g of protein in a day but I am getting at least 50 and some days I have gotten more than 80.. I would advise getting as much in the first few days as you can.  The isopure & bullet go down more easily at first.  Now I don't have a chance getting them down.  I have a lot left so I hope I am able to stomach them again soon. 

Yesterday was hard.  I hit a wall with liquids and was so tired.  Today I am feeling better and more optimistic.  I am now down the 4lbs I added in the hospital plus another 8 lbs.  So that's nice to see.  I am now seeing a number on the scale well below anything I have seen in years.   I was stuck in a 5 lb range for two years and I went past that.. it feels good.  I am so ready to move on to full liquids tomorrow!!!

I am now home after two days at the hospital.  Everything went well and I almost came home yesterday but got really nauseated after the swallow study.  The stuff they used was way worse than the barium they used pre-op.  I am glad I stayed one more day.  I have been doing my clear liquids, exercise and deep breathing.  (The deep breathing was way easier on the Morphine)  Over all I feel good.. just a little tired.  I am hoping that will pass as I am able to get in more protein.