Kelly B.

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I finally had my first fill on 10/8.  It had been really frustrating because I wasn't having any restriction and was pretty much able to eat whatever I wanted.  I also , of course, wasn't losing any weight, either.  there was the 13 I lost recovering from the surgery, but that was it.  So, I did my 2 days of liquid and 1 day of mush and now I'm eating regular food again.  Boy, does this thing work!    I've been surprised (I don't know why!)  and a little taken aback at how little food I can eat.  I get full so quickly, that I'm really not mentally ready to be done eating yet.  I had a sandwich and wow did that hurt!  The bread just about killed me.  I don't understand how it can hurt so intensely so quickly.  I waited until it passed and then I tried again.  And stupid me I tried again until I had to face the fact that I cannot eat bread.  I knew that bread was a common thing that people had trouble eating, but it's going to be a big adjustment for me to give that up.

I got weighed before my support group yesterday for the first time.  So far, I would just get weighed by Irene, my nurse, when I'd go see her.  I didn't see any point in doing it every week before support group since nothing was really happening.  But, I figured that the only way to see how I progress this week was to get a starting weight to compare.  My bathroom scale says that I'm already startng to lose, so I'm excited.  We talked about setting goals in support group so I'm trying to come up with a good short term weight loss goal.  My birthday is next month (I'm so original with my profile name, aren't I?  Guess when my birthday is!).  I have 6 weeks til then, so I'm going to make my goal be to lose a total of 40 pounds by then - 13 down and 27 to go.  We discussed at group how a goal shouldn't be too easy or too hard, but something you have to stretch and work for.  I will really have to work hard to make this happen.  I will have to commit to exercising and doing everything I need to do.  Wish me luck!

I started panicking a little bit.  See, it's been almost three weeks since my surgery and I was really good the first two weeks following the guidelines of what I am supposed to eat.  The first week - milk, jello, protein drink, tea, and water.  The second week - add oatmeal, soup and yogurt.  Now for weeks 3 and 4 - add cereal, mashed potatoes, applesauce, mashed banana and anything pureed.  I was fine the first two weeks because I wasn't even really hungry.  I think that's because I was still recovering from the surgery and everything.  Well, now I'm feeling great.  I feel just about 100% recovered from the surgery.  I have more energy than I had those first couple of weeks and that's all wonderful.  HOWEVER, now I am hungry.  My surgeon doesn't fill the lapband at all until we are eating regular food.  So, right now I have no benefit of having the lapband - no earlier sense of fullness or feeling fuller longer.  But I have to keep eating this squishy food and it's not doing it for me.  The problem is that while I have been eating what I should for most of the day, I have started eating other stuff as well.  I met with Irene today - she's the nurse I see through this New Beginnings program I joined through the hospital; she's awesome.  I told her how I've been feeling and what I've been eating and she told me I have to go back to just eating mushy stuff or I could dislodge my band - it could slip.  She said eat more protein.  I have an appointment with my surgeon on Oct 2 where he'll evaluate if I need to get a fill.  I'll certainly tell him that I REALLY need one and then I'll have to wait to get an appointment for the fill.  My surgeon will only do a fill in the radiology dept where he makes you do the barium swallow so he can see the results and make sure everything is OK.  I'm worried that I've already made my band slip and that I've really messed everything up already.  I so need this to work for me.  I will be absolutely devestated if I've gone through all this to finally have this lapband and it doesn't work or I mess it up.