Danielle H.
Been forever and a day
Oct 24, 2008
I am sooo sorry it has been foreve since I have posted here. In my defense, I just had a baby. It was the best birth ever, and I have already lost all my baby weight, it fell off when my daughter came out. Well almost. I LOVE my new fit body(except for the sagging skin, but oh well) I do not have diabetes anymore and I have tons tons of energy. The last time I cheked I had lost a total of 126lbs. I have stopped losing for sure and now and worried about how much I can eat. I can eat a whole sandwich and chips and pop in one sitting. I snack a lot too. So, I am worried, still I have not conquered WHY I overeat. Those old demons are coming back and I need to get a hold of them before I start to gain.
Well my daughter is crying so I have to keep this short, but good luck to all of you newcomers. You will not regret this surgery for one moment, especially if you use Dr.Alvarez, he was wonderful!!!
Another short, quick update
Oct 10, 2007
Well, I am at the longest stall I have had to date. I have been at 91lbs gone for about a month now. Admittedly I have been able to eat more and I still eat crummy stuff from time to time. THis surgery unfortunately cannot help me make good decisions about the food I shove down my throat. I still and forever will be in bondage to the food I have been eating my whole life. Also, I have lost about 3/4's of my hair. I am nearing the time I will start contemplating a wig. My hair is so thin it is practically not even there. I go to gather it in the back for a pony and it is just a small bunch of strands that even a ponytail holder seems to have trouble grabbing. I am taking the protien and the biotin, so far to no avail. This is really a big stress for me, I think about it constantly. I fear more and more that it will not grow back because thin hair runs strong in my mothers side of the family. Up until now I have always been blessed with strong thick hair.
Still, I would not change a thing. But I am right on the edge at saying it. If I go bald, I might change my mind. I am happy and my family loves the change in my energy. Getting to the gym is still a struggle. Everyday I am tugged between staying at home with my family in the evening, or making time to go to the gym and feel like I am being selfish. I get that feeling as if my time in the spotlight is over and they just want me to go back to being who I was. But it is hard, I am not that girl anymore, but at the same time I am not really sure who I am now either. I know I love being active, but my family does not. By family, I mean my husband. My kids would LOVE to go hike or play or do anything. My husband on the other hand still sees eating out as an "activity" or "sport" the way I used too do. It's a tough road to hoe.
4.5 Months 83lbs gone forever
Aug 27, 2007
56lbs gone
Jun 12, 2007
I have had a lot of success so far. I am afraid of what I have been able to eat though, and also afraid of losing too much muscle. I feel like I hardly have any muscle left. I am weak, weak weak. I am still working out, though only 3-4 days a week and it is mostly muscle training with 20 minutes of cardio on the recumbent bike. I feel like a million bucks though, so I am not complaining. I still cannot eat meat, so the whole protien thing is an issue. I eat a boring diet of smoothies, tuna with mayo and doritos and cheese. Not super healthy, not the worst. I manage to sneak in a few french fries now and then and I wish they made me ill like they did in the beginning. But now I can wolf em down if I let myself. I also never use to have a sweet tooth, now I am noticing I get a craving for sweeets alot more often. *sigh* I still have to work on the head issues I have about eating. I am considering seeing a counselor about it. I do not want to be one of the sad stories who regains all the weight ater a couple of years. But we have to remain positive. For me myself, I am hoping to get to 145. I have lost 56lbs so I have lost 38% of my excess weight. In two months, that is a very good thing. I know I will slow now, so I have to watch it more than ever.
Well, I have droaned on enough for today. Love you all!
about 7 weeks out
May 29, 2007
I have to date lost 48 lbs and 3 pant sizes. I just started seeing a trainer at the gym 3 times a week and my food decisions are not all that great lately. I am frequently found eating pirates booty, my new "popcorn" replacement. I can eat an alarming amount of Doritos or anything with corn in it. I still cannot eat much meat. It really gives me pain. Oh yeah...wierd but my nose starts to run if I overeat. Fill my nanner to the gills and I start drooling and my nose runs. I look like a rabid dog. And I feel like hell if I get to that point. But It's crazy, what a wierd side effect huh?
Somedays it seems my nanner can handle a lot, then others, it hardly takes food at all. Everyone keeps commenting on how good I look and how slim I am getting, but I still look in the mirror and see the same person. The only difference I see is a thinner face. I know I could have lost more weight by now if I had eaten better. It scares me a little, if I keep this up, will I ever make my goal? I keep thinking about this golden 18 months everyone is talking about and wonder if in 16 more months I am going to start to get fat again???(should I ever get thin in the first place)
I also wonder If I can ever make exercise a part of my life for real, everyday. I HATE exercise. There are so many other things to do. But for now, today I am really happy and my husband is jealous. He is so happy for me, but I think he is feeling left behind, and is in effect eating more now than before. I dont know how to make him feel better about this. I am constantly reminding him how much I adore him and will never leave him. He will have to wait and see. But I also think he is going to get the surgery next January or February. I hope so. I am sorry I have not been around the boards much, I just am so busy this summer. I pop in and read messages though. I am thinking of everyone, especially my surgery buddies, Jen and Emily.( Emily was more of a new friend via Jen, she did not get surgery)
I have posted a face shot and I will very soon update with a full body pic.
Tata for now all!
Got 'er Done, heres my experience in Mexico
Apr 09, 2007
We drove the 3 hours to Eagle Pass and she checked us into our hotel, took us to grab some dinner and Wal-Mart so I could buy some bottled water. The hotel was very nice, I really liked it. I ate dinner, had cris take the before pictures I am going to try and find the nerve to post on here later. And we went to bed.
Rosy got to the hotel at 7:15am Friday morning and took us over the border to Piedra Negras. It is a little town, and there is lots of character. It looks nothing like America. No big grocery stores, just a bunch of little strip mall looking, markets and restaurants.
We got to the medical clinic and Cris and I talked with Doc Alvarez in his office. We paid him, he weighed me and answered my questions. I was feeling a bit better by then and was grateful. Then he walked us through the breezeway to the hospital and got us into our rooms and told me to change into my "Gown". Not alot of fabric! A nurse came in and took a little blood and 5 minutes later, they were loading me on a gurney. I started crying, I was pretty freaked out. I was certain I was going to die. Not so much because I thought Doc A to be incompetent or anything, just because I felt like it would just be my luck.
A bit about the hospital. It was old, I mean old. However, it was clean and had all the things necessary for a hospital. We had trouble getting clean towels and communicating with the nurses was harder than I had anticipated. The night after my surgery they had the air conditioner on in my room and I was shivering. I tried to communicate I was cold and finally a english speaking man helped me and told them to turn the heat up in my room. But they still left the a/c on for about another half hour. That was kind of a bummer, I was really cold. Some of the nurses are very good at placing i.v's, some should not be allowed to touch neeedles. The day they removed my I.V. a nurse had to try to re-insert one three times in my wrist and the back of my hand to administer some pain and nausea medication. Oh yeah, when they say it's no big deal that the pain meds are not narcotic, in my opinion, that is totally untrue. I would have given anything for something stronger.
The first day is hell. I knew that going into this, but I though my pain meds would be a bit stronger like they are here in the USA. I did get one shot of Morphine after a miserable 6 hours of not being able to sit in a chair or lie down comfortably. If doc is around, he'll help out and really cares, but he obviously cannot be around all the time and you are left to fend for yourself with the nurses. The day nurses are great, the night nurses, honestly, I felt like they didn't really care. Also, Saturday night about 2am, after I fell finally fell asleep, a custodial woman came in and flipped on the light and emptied the trashcans (That had nothing in them, mind you) and made a bunch of noise. A few minutes later the night nurse came in to check my blood pressure and woke me again. Whoever said the hospital is a place of rest, didn't know the half of it!
The operating room looks great, like they could handle anything that might arise. This made me feel safer. As they wheeled me into the O.R., I had to slide through a window sort of thing, it was kind of funny, like a drive through or something. It is no big deal, really just humorus. I brought my camera in and asked Dr Alvarez to take a picture of me on the Op table, and he says, I cannot take a picture of you crying! So I wiped my tears of fear and faked my best smile and gave him the peace sign, he thought this was pretty funny and had a good laugh. The anesthesiologist was quiet, and working to place my i.v., the last thing I heard was nite nite Danielle.
When I woke up in my room, they were gently nudging me and asking me to wake up. I really dont remember alot about this, I was still very groggy. I know that when I did wake up I started moving my legs around alot and felt pain in my chest, breathing is hard at first. But it only lasts about an hour. My mouth was like the Sahara and my throat hurt from the intubation. I have a extremely small throat. That first 24 hours without water is rough. The first 24 hours is rough anyway. Just expect that, and you will be prepared. I cannot advocate walking strongly enough, the more I walked the better I felt. Problem is, you DO NOT feel like walking. You want to lay down and sleep for days. I was realy unprepared for how weak I felt and how having a small conversation made me feel wiped out. But if you force yourself to push your comfort level just a bit in walking and talking, you will alleviate the gas much quicker, and that is a good thing. I was one of the unlucky ones that experienced a lot of gas. Those gas-x strips did not help at all. It's kind of funny, when people around you burp or fart you look at them longingly with envy and wish you could too.
My second day Saturday, was markedly better, and it went faster. I still did alot of sleeping and was pretty uncomfortable from the gas. I tried to force myself with the ice chips and it was hard, only because I have really sensitive teeth to cold. Well, that and the ice was realy more of a ice block, Jen can attest to that! My husband tried breaking them for me by shaking the pitcher they came in. He was so sweet the whole time.
Doc came in about 9:30 Sunday Morning and gave us our meds for the trip and at home. You get an antibiotic, Pain meds and antacid pills. He gave us our paperwork and answered our questions then walked us to the "Fat Van". See Pictures. We took some pictures and were on our way. Rosy was so kind to stop a few times to make Jen, Emily(jens friend), and I more comfortable. We were hypersensitive to the seat position and were uncomfortable the whole way. Thank God I had Jen, Emily and Rosy to talk to and keep my mind off of the discomfort and distance of the trip.
We made it to San Antonio and Jen, again a doll, invited us to come into her room and sit until our plane left. Which was not for 6 hours. We went over to applebees and my husband was so excited to be back in the US where the food was much more to his liking and ordered a huge meal of steak and ribs. Jen and I just ordered french onion broth and were only able to eat a few sips of it. Looking at Cris's food did not even look appetizing. A real first for me.
The trip home was a bugger. It was long and we did not get home until near midnight Pacific time. Remember we had been travelling since 9:30am Central time. I laid in my bed, it felt so good. Then I passed out.
Wednesday April 11, 2007
I still am dealing with gas pains when I swallow anything. It burns and hurts a bit. I started a Menstrual cycle, which is wierd, I have PCOS and usually only cycle every 2 months. This was my second in 2 weeks. I am starting to mourn food already. When I cook for my family, I feel resentful towards my husband. I wish he could try to hold back a little. Is that wrong? Probably. I am just jealous. I think I definately need to look into some sort of support and nutritionist help.
I truly see now what they mean when they say this is only a tool. It can be my hammer or my monkey wrench.
I have not weighed myself because I know anything I have lost up to this point is mostly water and muscle. I do not regret it at all, despite my various complaints. I do wonder what the future holds, and how I will handle it. For now, One day at a time.
I HAVE MY DATE!!!
Mar 20, 2007
Ok, now about this liquid diet. I have to tell you, Doc only asks that we do a lo carb diet 10 days pre op, but I have decided to do the liquid on my own becasue I want to do everything I can to make sure there are no complications along the way. I am also blowing up balloons everyday. I started doing the elliptical for about 15minutes a day too. 15 minutes is about all I can stand right now. I talked my hubby into going with me and this makes me feel a little more at ease. I am going to write letters and do a video for my sons, should something happen to me. Ok, that is all for now. Thanks for letting me vent!
