Kerri_Kurl
Want to see my pictures??? Go to the above website. I have pictures of my weightloss progress and my fills, and fluoroscope fills with the lapband.
December 19, 2003 I had been scheduled with Dr. Sheila Partridge in February 2004. But she decided to back out of the surgery since I won't take a blood transfusion. We had discussed this last month and she said that she didn't have a problem. I was upfront about it and told her to tell me THEN if she had an issue with it. This month after driving an hour to get there, paying my co-pay AND parking fees I get told that she won't do the surgery. So I am at square one and have to look into another program that has a bloodless surgery program. I am so sad right now. I could have been 40 pounds thinner by summer time. Now I may not be able to have surgery until November or December 2004.
Well, I won't have to wait until November or December. I have a date in June 2004.
Height 5'9"
Preop high 268
Current 228-230
goals 160-199
Hi. I am Kerri. I am 32 years old now. I have an 8 yo son and I have been married for almost 7 years. Unlike most of the profiles I have been reading, I have been struggling with my weight over the past 10 years, instead of all my life, after receiving a cortisone shot in my knee. I was actually thinner when I was pregnant than I am now. I didn't start putting on weight until about 9 months after my son was born. I have PCOS. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. About 3 years ago I had looked into getting the surgery done. Guess what the secretary setting up appointments told me??? You aren't fat enough. Can you believe that? The first time since I got fat that I wasn't fat enough for something. :) I was shocked. I told them to give me two weeks and I could be. I didn't though. I was going to give myself one more chance to diet and exercise my way thin and hopefully stay that way. But now I found out I am shorter than I thought I was and now my BMI is at 40. It is awful that I finally am fat enough to even qualify now. But I need to do something. Nothing else works for very long.
July 24, 2003
I got my paperwork from Chestnut Surgical Associates. I sent the green sheet back. It has your information, insurance, height and weight etc. on it. They use this information to base your eligibility. Then they call you back. I think I waited about a week for them to call after I sent the paper back. My appointment is in November 2003. I can wait. Although they did put me on the cancellation list. I asked the girl if they ever had cancellations. I said, probably very rarely. She said that was true. She said that occasionally they will get a cancellation. She asked me to bring a letter from my shrinky dink to verify that I am depressed. I should have him verify that my anti-depressant makes me fatter too. :)
July 26th, 2003
I feel like a shark. Eating everything in sight. I had been on a stimulant medication to help me stay awake during the day. It worked too well and I was up 20 hours out of 24 each day. Since going off it I have been a ravenous beast. Eating constantly. I have been bloating up too. My legs and feet hurt so bad. I don't have the thick ankles and calves that some have. I actually have bird ankles. I was told that some is genetics and some is because I wasn't a fluffy(my word for fat hehe) child and teenager. So now they are hurting. I can't sit or stand for very long. I have to keep soaking them in a bucket of cold water. It helps temporarily. I am thinking about getting a water pill. I guess I should be a good girl and call my doctor and tell him. I had lost 10 1/2 pounds in February working out at Curves. That is all I did, work out about 2-3 times per week. But my knee is bad and after awhile I can't go. My back also goes out from time to time and I can't work out. I can hardly wait until I get about 50 pounds off of me and working out will be easier. Next month I have to have knee surgery for the 4th time. (90, 00, 02, 4th one will be August 03) My cartilage was split when a kid I was babysitting kicked me in the knee. It was a total accident. He felt sooo awful. He and my brother had been playing karate and I got in the middle of them during a kick. My cartilage snapped immediately. But it took a year for the doctor to decide to go look. In 99 I had slipped on the green scum that grows on wood decks at my in-laws house. I didn't fall or even slip a huge amount. Just a matter of inches. My knee hyperextended and started swelling right away. So off I went for another surgery. In 02 I just didn't feel right. So again, more cartilage was torn. That was 2 days before Thanksgiving. Now 8 months later I am needing surgery again. Actually since the last surgery I have been complaining that it wasn't right still. The doctor said that the swelling was the reason. The swelling went down, but not all the way and I am STILL having trouble. Last month he checked it over and acted like he was just so shocked that it was still catching and popping and clicking in my joint. It was like he hadn't heard a word that I had been saying the past 8 months. It was like HE thought he discovered it popping and whatnot. ARGH!!!!!!! So off I go on the 12th. I would much rather be having WLS hehe. But at least after I heal from this surgery I can try to get moving again and lose a few pounds before I have my WLS.
August 7th, 2003
On Monday, I was so mad. I found out that the doctor I am scheduled to see doesn't even do the Lap Band procedure. He only does open RNY. I only called him because that is where my PCP had wanted me to go three years ago, and because I saw that there were THREE profiles of persons here who said that they were having Lap Band done at this clinic. Those persons all told me that they had open RNY and probably had only saw the lap part and picked that one as they thought they would have lap RNY. Needless to say I felt that I had wasted about a month of my time. Well, I immediately started researching some more and found a doctor in Worcester, Dr. John Kelly, who DOES do it. I called and made sure. The profile I looked up that had the lapband done by Dr. Kelly also has the same insurance as me. I am hoping to cite this as an example to the insurance company. The only problem is that it can take 8-12 months before you get surgery.
Today I got their information packet though. I need to attend two group meetings first, then see their behavior management person( shrink), then the nutritionist, who I saw last year anyways, and then I get an appt for the consult. I am going to do this. I guess that it will just be a bit longer than I had anticipated.
I have found that my sharking has slowed down. My swelling is down too. My doctor put me on spirolodactone. It is a water pill, that is very helpful for women with PCOS. I am not peeing all the time, but just more than normal. My feet and legs are thanking me though. :) Today, I saw a shrink who is putting me on Concerta to help with energy and focusing levels. He said that it can have a lack of appetite side effect. OH DARN!!! Isn't that sooo terrible!!! Since my husband restarted on his Concerta he has really thinned down in his face, and my son is a bean pole. So, if I can at least get down 10 pounds before surgery from the water pills and the Concerta that will help. :)
My knee surgeon is going to write a letter for me to submit to BCBS when I get to all that. He is going to tell them that I am on surgery #4 and that my weight has contributed to the last 3 of them and that he thinks that the surgery would be a great benefit to me in all aspects. :) My shrink is going to write a letter too.
August 8th, 2003
Took my son to swimming lessons today and found out that today is his coaches last day. He took a job at a university coaching there. Guess the pay will be better than the boys and girls club hehe.
I talked things over with my hubby last night. He agreed to take me to the first group meeting on the 13th. I will have my knee surgery on the 12th and then the next day I will go to the group meeting. I am taking a pillow, an extra pain pill or two and having hubby take notes hehe. Mine would be like this. "Interesting meeting. OW OW OW when is it going to be over with OUCH OUCH pain ouch. WOW, what a neat weightloss story. OUCH!! It has only been 15 minutes ouch ouch." My knee surgeries hurt worse than having my tonsils out as an adult 2 years ago. I was 30 years old.
Today I was pretty good about my eating. Didn't over do it. Didn't have enough protein though. Need to work on that.
Going to start on the Concerta tomorrow. This should be interesting.
August 30, 2003 12:54 am
I had my knee surgery on the 12th. I didn't get to come home from the hospital until the night of the 14th. Too much anesthesia and pain killers. I had trouble breathing and my oxygen levels were in the 70's and 80's. I also was lethargic and unable to do a lot of moving around. I had terrible time sleeping as the girl across from me had an IV in her arm that kept setting the pump alarm off. ALL NIGHT LONG!!! My blood pressure was all over the place too. Now that I had that terrible experience I am a bit worried about my WLS. I had posted on the message boards about it and I didn't get one single reply about it. Not even an "It's okay, we all get scared." Oh well!
On a sad note my shrink died. I was to see him again on Sept 2, 2003, but he passed away. I was so upset by this. Now I have to grieve and get someone else. It isn't fair. You get a rapport going and divulge things to this person and then they are gone and the office just expects me to feel comfy and open right up to this other person. Sigh!!
I am finding myself constantly reading profiles. Tonight I found one that made me mad. This person said that they would never recommend it to anyone, but that it was the best thing to happen to her. She said that she is healthier than before, but that things were rough at first. I felt she was being hypocritical. Surgery is tough and afterwards will be even worse.
Oh, I didn't make it to the WLS group meeting on the 13th. It was obviously due to me being in the hospital still. I didn't even remember about it until 16th hehe. What a daze!
I am still pondering my choices. I like that the weight can come off faster with the RNY, but I don't like that your pouch can majorly stretch again and you will gain weight back. I like that the band is adjustable and you can add or take out the amount of saline in your pouch. I like that it isn't permanent and that the weight comes off at a slower, more natural pace. I just hate seeing that with both there is a chance that you can gain your weight back. I know that I need this tool. I am not strong enough on my own to eat smaller meals. I can't even say diet without going on a binge.
I was a thin girl and teen ager. I ate whatever I wanted and I always was the garbage disposal at the table when we went out. I was the oldest of four children and I was always hungry. I was NEVER fat, fluffy, chunky, pudgy or in any way shape or form a big girl. I was tall, but I was not fat. Of course I thought I was. I was 5'9 and 110 lbs in 9th grade and thought that I was fat. When I graduated from high school in 89 I was 150 and I thought I was such a cow. Before I had my son I was 175-180 and I had people telling me how skinny I was. Being tall I could hide 20 pounds well.
My first goal is to get approval for surgery, either one. Next my first weight loss goal will be getting under 250, then to 225, then to 200. When I get to 199 I will have a party. If I get to 180 I would be very happy there, 160 I would be ecstatic, and at 150 I would probably fall over and faint. The way my skin looks now I think that I will need plastic surgery for my arms, inner thighs, and stomach. I don't have a large apron, but my skin never recovered after having my son. He was 42 weeks and 9.8 pounds. The belly never went away. I had 38DD when I was 180, so I think that they will still be larger, but pointing south. I know for a fact that hubby would not mind one bit if they were tucked and lifted and perhaps upgraded hehehe. I have NO interest in upgrading though. Uplifting yes...:) The thighs and belly can go away!!!
I am tired and need to get some sleep.
September 3, 2003 1:23 am
The past couple of weeks have been sort of depressing. I had knee surgery that had a couple of complications, my shrink died, I missed the first Lap Band group meeting so everything will have to wait for another month longer, summer was miserably humid and the past couple of days have been cold. I am tired, have minimal energy, can't sleep, feel like I am not getting much done around the house. My son went back to school and I miss him. This is the first summer that I didn't jump up and down when it was time to return to school. We had a good time together. Swimming lessons everyday and we just got out and did whatever for the day.
I have found that I read any profile I can. Even the deceased ones. I think that those are my major downers. I read them, ponder over them, then take them to heart. I read how obese these people were, some died from the surgery complications, some from being obese, some from cancer.
I guess that I have been feeling my mortality and I just worry way too much over it. I have made it through 8 surgeries. Four knee(arthroscopic) surgeries, three sinus surgeries, and I had my tonsils out 2 1/2 years ago as an adult. I know that I made it through those so I should be fine.
I am just really tired of being overweight. I am really starting to feel it. When I had my knee surgery on 8/12/03 I worried about my weight. I was at my highest point, and since then I am down 13 pounds. I just haven't been scarfing everything in sight. It is strange, but I think that some days I have even had dumping syndrome. I swear! I get woozy feeling and all sweaty. I just feel soooo off and out of it. I was in Walmart the other day and I had to get a water from the coolers and drink it in the check out line. I have NEVER had anything before I paid for it. I felt so awful. I ended up drinking all the water and it took 10 minutes for me to feel normal again.
I hate feeling like I can't move well. I hate having to ask my son to help me do stuff. He is my runner for things. Take this and put it away. I try to get myself up and do things too, but sometimes it is just easier for him to do it. When I clean stuff, I put it in piles. Same with the laundry. Then I have my son deliver each pile to the prospective person. But, I don't want him to one day say, "Why do I have to do everything around here?"
I want to get outside and play games, and ride bikes, and rollerblade with my son. When we get a sandbox I want to sit down in it and play. I want to go on the swings at the park again without worrying that the chain will snap. I want to go down the slide without worrying that I might get stuck. I want to run and jump and play. I want to go hiking again. I want to swim and wear a swimsuit and not shorts and a t-shirt. I want to feel good about myself. I want my husband to look at me again, and not at the fluffy outer shell that has found its way over me.
Goodnight all. I have to get to bed.
September 7,2003 5:18 am
I am still in the waiting for the consult time period. I have been cleaning my house. I get emails from www.flylady.net and they help me get my house cleaned up. I got rid of 5 bags of clothing that we had put in the basement. I have also been going through each room and getting rid of the extras that we just don't need. Yesterday I started on the living room. I started at the front door and made my way around the room. I got rid of a lot of junk, old knick knacks, papers. It was just junky stuff that we don't need anymore. I set up 3 bins and put our respective things to be put away in each bin. I still need to go through the bookshelf again. I also need to get a real computer desk so that I have space for envelopes, paper, pencils, etc.
I had gone through all of my clothes a couple of years ago. I decided that when I lost my weight that I would just get new stuff. I ended up GAINING instead. Now I get to wait for my surgery before I can get new clothes. I have lost weight though. I need to go through my old sweaters in my closet. I also need to get rid of some shoes.
I keep imagining myself after the surgery. I have really long hair and I plan on having a makeover when I am thinner. I can remember how thin I was in highschool. When I was 14 I weighed 110 pounds. I was 5'8 or 9" I wore a size 10 pant but they were too big on me. I had to get the bigger size because they were taller than the 6 or 8s. I remember wearing a tank top one time and looking down at my boobs sticking out soooooooo far. I was probably about a 32 c. I am a 42DD, and probably should be a DDD. I remember thinking I was so fat back then. But, I was going by what my friends weighed. They were also a good 4-8 inches shorter than me. Now I know what FAT really feels like, and I know that I will feel thin even at 220. Being tall I can hide 20 pounds pretty well. :)
I want to get down to 180. That would be my goal. Anything under that would be a bonus. But I think that 180 is realistic.
Bed is calling me now. It is 5:30 am after all.
September 15, 2003 1:18 am
Well, I know that I have found a lot of information from reading profiles and even posts. But I am a bit discouraged by the lack of answers to my posts. I have posted 3 times. The first time I did get a couple of standard pre-fab comments back. The other times nothing. I asked specific questions and nothing. I wanted to know about the skin cream, and the stuff that you make with molasses and no one answered. I also wanted to know about skin shrinkage, hair loss. I have been researching like crazy.
I went to my first meeting and found that it wasn't so informative. The person who was the speaker had the surgery over 3 years ago and could eat anything and even drink carbonated beverages. He did say however, that he was in charge of his weightloss, not his new pouch. He still watched what he ate and drank. There was one woman there who was just like, well, a spider waiting to pounce on any little thing he said. One thing he talked about was that he could eat 3 ounces of turkey, a tablespoon of mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, etc and that would sustain him for the day. She jumped right in and said, WELL YOU DIDN'T SAY IT SATISFIED YOU!! He responded with, have you ever been satisfied with anything you ate??
One encouraging thing is that Dr. Kelly said that BCBS HMO BLUE will be allowing the lap band after January 1st 2004. I am still unsure of my path. I could do the band, and then what if it slipped or popped? Would BCBS replace it? Or if I get the RNY and it stretches out, will they do a revision? I know that I need the surgery either way. I could get the RNY by March or April 2004. The lapband would be Sept or October 2004. I don't want to wait that long. I want to be thin by the summer time. I want to have at least 40-50 pounds gone by then.
I did read someones profile and found that I am inspired by them. They do the protein first and are really proactive in their WL meals.
Okay, off to bed now. It is almost 130 am and I need to get up for a chiro appt. I put my back out on Saturday and I need an adjustment.
October 14, 2003
I think that I need to do a better job of keeping this journey updated. Even if no one else is reading this, at least I will have it for myself to remember the pain, frustration and struggles and then hopefully see them give way to joy, feeling good, and laughter.
Since my last update I went to the second required meeting at UMASS. It was very different from the first meeting. I asked 2 questions and people around me said,"That is a good question, I never thought about that." The atmosphere was different too. It seemed like many people had no clue about WLS. Some of the questions were very scary. A few people were asking non-stop questions and not letting others have a chance to raise their hands. People were getting irritated at this one particular woman. At least that part is over for me. Now I have to wait for an appt. with behavior management. They said it could be 4-6 months. We will see.
In the meantime, the other clinic I have an appt. with at Newton Wellesley called to cancel my November appt. The doctor wouldn't be available. They were going to reschedule me to October 15th but I didn't attend the new patient support group meeting yet. I had planned on going to the one at the end of this month. So, now I get to wait until after I attend the meeting. The woman there said to call the next day and they will get me in right away.
My husband has been great. He said that he will be supportive about whatever my choice is. He of course would like me to do the Lap Band. I would too, but I have concerns over it too. Both surgeries have pros and cons. I just really have to make a choice, and soon. I could have RNY surgery by the mid-end of spring. It would be next fall or early winter before I could do the Lap Band. Decisions...decisions...decisions....
I have been wondering about "fattening up for the winter." Do post-ops have that happen to them? The mind set, or the hibernation mode taking over? I never had it until we moved to RI. Now, it seems like each fall, I tend to eat more and "thicken" up my blood for the winter. That is what another RI person told me hehe. I am just wondering if others, and post ops still have that mindset.
The other day I wanted to get one of those Rotisserie ovens(Ron Popeils). Then I thought, well, why??? I won't be able to eat as much after the surgery. Then I thought, the RNY would have the most restriction, the Lap would have less. So, the Lap sounded better. But, that is my problem. I eat too much. I can eat great choices of food. It is too much food mostly that has piled on the weight. I admit that I have devoured a whole package of cupcakes before, eaten 2 whoppers at one sitting. I just need to figure out what will do the job. What tool will give me the best long term results. I don't want to be redoing this surgery again in 2-10 years.
I need to spend a day with a post-op person. I need to see their daily intake. I need to see that they are okay with eating smaller amounts. Sure, they are thin, but are they okay?
I look at the before and after pictures all the time. It amazes me to see everyone. I see some who are thrilled to be thin, and then I see others who still have the same miserable look in their eyes that they had before surgery. They say they are happy to be thin, but there is more to their story. I see some who look 20 years younger in their post op pics. I also see some who look 20 years older. I am just amazed though when I see the smiles, the look, the outgoing attitude just exuding from each pore. Most people look great!!!
I hope this winter is kind. No 12-16 inches of snow at a time.
October 16, 2003
Today I feel like I was hit by a truck. I am tired and feel blah. It was in the 60's and windy. This weekend is going to be in the 50's. I took the dog out for a short walk about 6 times today. Each time I saw the leaves on the ground and felt the chill in the air and just felt worse. This afternoon I was so tired I crawled in bed after my husband got home. He left me alone. I got back up and made dinner for my son. Today was a horrible eating day for me. I really think it had to do with the winter coming on. We are having a very tight month financially and there isn't a whole lot in the house, but I managed to find stuff...and then stuff myself. I am hungry now.
On a positive note...I hope. I got a call for an appt. with one of the clinics that I have appts. with. They said that as long as I attend the new patient group at the end of the month I can have a November 12th appt. If I had attended a meeting sooner I could have gone yesterday. I am not sure about where to go and what surgery to do yet. The Newton Wellesley Clinic costs 400 extra. I guess they are costs that insurance doesn't cover. But, you see the surgeon, shrink, and nutritionist all in one day. I could have open RNY by April if all goes well. I would rather have lap RNY, and they do have one doctor that does lap RNY there. I was told that you are under anesthesia longer though and that is where the problems can come into play. I was also told that incisions are smaller and smaller these days so recovery time is getting better. It just depends on the patient. I am at 40.3 BMI so I know that I would probably have a smaller incision. I would still like the Lap Band though. I just worry with all the moving around of my stomach and intestines that something could happen. But, then, if I don't do anything something could happen too.
Gotta go watch Survivor.
October 20, 2003
I had a wonderful weekend at Martha's Vineyard with my best friend, her sister, and her mom. I get to call her mom, MOM!!! :) hehe It is nice since my mom is 3000 miles away. We just drove around, walked the shops, went to dinner, talked. It was relaxing and peaceful. It was a kid free weekend. It was also my 7th wedding anniversary. 10/19/1996 It is also hubby's b-day, so he can NEVER forget hehehe.
I have been still flopping back and forth between the band and the rny. This weekend when we were out for dinner, and just even eating at the house I was looking at my portions and even the foods I ate and worried about eating after WLS. I know that I won't be able to overeat unless I go wacko and stuff my pouch to pieces. It is losing foods I like though. I want to do things right, but I worry about depriving myself. Sometimes I seem to have the right mindset and then I lose it. I opt for the RNY and then chicken out. Then the lap band loses its appeal with the potential breakdown of it. The fills don't bother me. It is the band slippage. The RNY worries me because of the possible side effects. I have to make a choice soon because I have my appt that was changed to see Dr. Thayer on November 12th. I have to come up with 400 dollars and if I don't choose the RNY, then I won't get the money back. I want the consult though. Hubby said that he doesn't mind that we wait for the lap band. I had wanted to be on the road to health by the summer. UGH!!!!!
October 31, 2003
Last night my husband and I made the trek to Newton Wellesley for the group information meeting. We were both very impressed with the presentation. My husband has been REALLLLLLY wanting me to have the lap band done. To him it seems the lesser of the two evils. He is all for me losing weight, but he is worried about the surgery being so invasive. Last night he saw a lot of information with the slide presentation. He seemed bored and nonchalant about it all. He even said at one point, You know, he is a salesman for this type of surgery. I thought that he was still focused on the lap band. After listening to it all and to some questions, he left there saying that he was all for this surgery if this is the one I want to do. I have been going between both the lap band and the lap rny. I still have decisions to make. ARGH!!! It isn't like I can just flip a coin. The outcome worries me the most for each of them. Best possible is that I lose most of the extra weight. That is what I am going to focus on hehe. :) Hubby even asked me if I would wear thongs when I am at a comfortable weight. LOL. Hey, if he enjoys that, then good for him HAHAHAHA I have an appt coming up but I may switch doctors. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! I want to be on the road to thin before the summer.
The weather around here has been crazy. Snow flurries one day and a couple days later 70 degrees. Sheesh. No wonder I have bronchitis.
November 6, 2003
Am I getting more depressed? What is going on? Yesterday I found out about a woman in Boston who died 2 days after her lap rny surgery. I guess the staple gun misfired and she leaked. BUT according to the newspaper article she had been sitting up, the nurse put her back in bed and was gone for less than a minute and came back to find her coding. They were unable to revive her. How scary. To be fine one minute and the next to be gone. So, I am even more undecided. I am leaning towards the lap band at the moment, but I am not giving up my appt with the lap RNY surgeon.
Yesterday someone backed into my car. I had taken my son to get his haircut. We were there for 2 hours. Today is school pictures and I have a feeling that is why it was so crowded. I was waiting to leave the parking lot. I was sitting there for 2-3 minutes waiting for an opening into traffic. There was a guy in an SUV in the parking lot behind me. I looked over and saw him just about to hit my car. I thought he was being impatient and was going to stop just short of my car and then pull around the other way. NOPE! He banged right into the passenger side back panel of my trunk. UGH! I didn't even have time to beep the horn. We didn't get hurt one bit. The poor guy didn't see me being up in his SUV so high hehe. He got out and said, where did you come from? I said, I have been sitting here for 2-3 minutes waiting for an opening to get out of the parking lot. We exchanged information and he is going to call today and let me know if he is going to have insurance fix it, or if he is going to pay it out of pocket. My poor car is all dented up now. :( It smashed the whole panel in. Eventually I am going to need a new car. Too bad he didn't total it hehehe. No, my car has been great. I have had it for 9 years. 10 in feb.
Last night I was eating dinner and my favorite fork broke. I have strange traumatic things happen to me. It was my favorite because it was the only one like it. It had a plastic type handle and regular metal tines. It was just my fork. Weird huh? My son ran in and grabbed his father and said I think Mommy is going to have a nervous breakdown, her fork just broke. My husband has been all kinds of loving and soft and gentle and caring for the past few weeks. He knows I am in turmoil over this surgery.
Someone I have been chatting with on here had her surgery and is miserable. I feel so bad for her. It makes me worry about going forward with this. She was so bubbly and bright and happy to have this done and now she seems so miserable and unhappy. She said that she just can't be happy for anyone having the surgery because hers was so horrible. I wish there was something I could say or do to help her out. Poor thing. I hope that in time she can feel better and then change her mind about the surgery.
I am so tired. I had a cold that went into bronchitis. I have gone to bed early most of this week. Not like me. I am going to go now. Need a nap.
November 10, 2003
I am so amazed at the love and support that I get here. I have commented to a few people and left encouragement on their surgery pages. I end up getting letters from them thanking me and supporting me as well. It is nice to have people who know how I feel and know what I am going through. Thanks to you all. Once I have a for sure surgery date that I know I won't chicken out of I will have a picture of myself added here. It really adds to the posts I read. It is one more connection.
I do still have moments of the jitters over the surgery. Sometimes I am fine and very ademant about it. I get all jazzed and just KNOW I can do it, and then I read something about someone doing bad or dying and it shakes me. There is soooo much to think about and wonder about. So many changes. A post I saw today was about people saying why have this surgery if you still have to diet. IF I COULD DIET I WOULDN'T EVEN CONSIDER THIS SURGERY!!!! A diet can last 1 day to 3 months. In the end I gain weight back and then some. I also worry about the conflicting information people give out. Like the carbonation stretching a pouch out. Did anyone watch Mythbusters? They used a pig stomach and poprocks and a soda and it did poof out, but the stomach had the burp factor and released the gas. I love the Polar seltzer water and I hope to have that carbonation taste to my water. I plan on putting it over ice so it flattens some, but as long as I can burp I am not going to worry about anything.
My husband and of course all you here who have read my posts and my profile are the only ones that know I am going to do this. My cousin's wife had the surgery and she is doing great. I threatened him with death, I mean I asked him to please not mention anything to anyone about me looking into the surgery. hahahahah He won't. He is my mom's cousins son. I am still unsure of all that 1st 2nd 3rd cousin stuff. My son has watched a few shows with me about WLS and he thinks it is cool. I said, what if Mommy did that? He said it would be okay with him. Little does he know.... He always tells me that he loves me no matter what. He loves me the way I am and will love me if I get thinner too. I asked him if anyone ever says anything about him having a fat mommy? He said very ademantly, NEVER MOMMY NEVER!!! If they did I would tell them that it isn't nice to say that about anyone. I really want to get thinner soon so that I can be a mom to him and not a burden. I want to go rollerskating and skiing again. I suppose I should start my list of things I want to accomplish with this surgery...be it lap rny or lapband.
November 21, 2003(long)
Yesterday I had my first consultation with Dr. Sheila Partridge.
She was really nice. She has red hair like me. :) She wasn't overly friendly, but she was friendly. She fielded my questions and told me to put down my list and ask her the burning questions on my list of over 80. I did. She answered them all. My appt. consisted of meeting with the nutritionist first, then the psychologist and then the surgeon. It was one stop shopping for my consult. I didn't have to make 3 different appointments. That part was nice. They have this process streamlined. :)
The nutritionist asked about my eating habits and said that I should cut carbs and portion sizes. I knew that hehehe She said that I need to lose some weight before my one month weight check appt. I can do it, because I started back on my Concerta. It helps with ADD but also is an appetite suppressant. I hadn't been on it for a month and I think that I gained a bit of weight from that. I did notice that I was hungrier than I had been. On the medication I would make myself eat. Sometimes I wouldn't want dinner, but I didn't want my metabolism to get any wackier than it is now. She was impressed when I told her about my Thunderstick PRO handblender. It makes skim milk into whipped topping. It chops meat, makes peanut butter, smoothies. It comes with a food processor attachment and a coffee grinder/peanut butter grinder. It is 30 dollars at CVS pharmacy. She is going to tell her next nutrition group about it.
The psychologist was so nice. She didn't ask any intimidating questions or make me take a test. She talked about the surgery and my mental status. With my severe depression she asked me if I thought that I was stable enough to do all this. I told her I function everyday with it. I raise my son, take care of hubby, a dog, myself, and the house. I can do this. I want to do this. She needs to hear you say that you are emotionally ready and know what you are getting yourself into. She also wants to know that you have realistic goals and ideas about this surgery. It isn't a magic pill or tool. :) She is easy to talk to. There was NOTHING to worry about at all.
The surgeon was nice. She said that she has done a little over 20 LAP RNY surgeries, but she has done hundreds of other lap procedures. She has another doctor helping her as well. She said her surgery takes about 3 1/2 hours.
I met a couple of nice people there. There is one woman that is going back on the same date that I am. I forgot her name but want to exchange email addresses with her so that we can maybe be WLS buddies. The doctor said that they are currently scheduling in JANUARY!!! I had been told it would be 3-4 months after the first consult. Someone pointed out that it could be the scare of the latest 2 deaths being played up in the media. I am trying to think positive about it all. Last night I was thinking about my just in case letters to my family and friends. The doctor did reassure me that she is very careful and that if ANYTHING looked like it was bleeding that she would immediately convert to open and then fix whatever was going on. I can handle that. She is going to make sure my blood is built up pretty high so that I won't have to worry. After seeing that live WLS the other night I was impressed with how little bloodloss there was. Dr. Partridge said that she is very careful and that she hasn't had any problems or complications. I have been chatting with another patient of hers. She is so nice and has answered so many of my questions. She is on here too. I am learning from her so much.
So far with just the treatment from the staff and how quick the appt. went I would tell people about Newton Wellesley Chestnut Surgical program. I like that they put down Chestnut Surgical Associates instead of the Obesity Clinic. When I got there it was a pretty big waiting room. The chairs didn't cut into my legs. I was able to talk with a post-op patient. She answered my questions. She looked good. She was 6 months post-op and had lost about 100 pounds. She showed me her open RNY scar. Everyone is right when they say that you will show your stomach to strangers hehehe. Another woman was in the waiting room with me. I was too shy to really talk to others. But in the lab I saw her. I forgot her name though. Lisa maybe? If you are reading this please email me. She is going back the same day as I am. When we were waiting for our labwork we were chatting a bit in "WLS code". We were trying to be discreet about our WLS. :)
I have to go to a group support meeting, to a one month weight check, to a blended diet nutrition group meeting, and then for my preop appts. They give you this green binder, called the green bible. If you don't bring it to your group meetings and other appointments they won't schedule your surgery. They want to make sure that people are serious about it. I am serious about it. I am mostly sure about getting the lap RNY. Although if the Lap band group called me today and said I have an appt for you next week I would go and check that out too.
I just want to be thinner and healthier this summer. I don't want to go through another hot miserable summer. I want to go visit my friend in Florida and wear a sweatshirt hahahaha. When it gets to 70 there my friend is cold. She has poor circulation but she is always cold. :) She loves it there when it is 90+.
I think that it hasn't hit me yet. When I see that surgery date and the insurance approval I don't know how I will react. When I had my other surgeries it was just any other day....just floated along. That is how my depression is. My days just float along. I used to remember being excited over stuff, vacations, buying things, etc. I am hoping that maybe down the road that I can ease up with my medications and feel better that way. :) Oh, I did find out that I can take my extended release medications. She said to just monitor the time ranges. I can take Vioxx for pain and Tylenol products. I will get Roxicet for pain after the surgery. She is going to do a pulmonary consult only because my last surgery I was sluggish coming out of anesthesia and also the morphine made my oxygen levels too low. She even said that I can have carbonated beverages down the road. She said there is no proof that they will do harm to the pouch. If you can burp you don't need to worry. WOOHOO!!! So in time I will be able to drink my Polar or Stop &Shop seltzer waters. :) WOOOOHOOOO I was so worried about that. I drink those things all day long. That is how I get my water in. I love the sharp taste of the carbonation. I rarely drink sodas. 1-3 per month if that. Seriously. I am very good. Even when we go out I will order a soda water. If we hit fast food I will get a soda sometimes as most places don't make fresh brewed ice tea anymore. It is that BRISK tea all sweetened. YUCK. Not for me.
I am kind of starting to feel a tiny bit excited now after reading all this hehe. Weird huh? I will probably cry like a baby for a week before surgery.
November 24, 2003 I almost typed 1998 weird huh?
Today is the last Monday of November. It is practically December. Where did the year go? I thought it would take forever to get to my appt last week and now it is past it.
Yesterday we went to breakfast. I was commenting on not being able to drink with my meals. I also told hubby that I will be a cheap date. One scrambled egg and later maybe a bite of ham or something hehe. He looked at me and said are you sure you are ready for this? I said ABSOLUTELY!!!! I really am. I am scared some, but I see a way to health. I am encouraged by others, even those who have had horrible complications. They still don't regret their decisions. Well, one did, but she might end up changing her mind hehe. She seems a bit more upbeat about things.
I bought my son a Game Boy. I think it is me worrying that something could happen and so I want to get him stuff hehe.
Today I went to my PCP to get my hand checked out and also talk about my constant cough. I am to take Zithromax for five days and call back in a week if my hand is still hurting me. I have NO idea why it is even hurting. It is where my middle finger connects into my palm. That joint at the top of my hand. Only certain positions make it hurt. I can lift and turn etc, but certain positions and I am dying. I weighed myself and I am down a pound from last Thursday. :) Although there may be a variation from the surgeons scale and my doc's scale. One pound is good considering this is my period week. I am going to get myself measured and weighed a couple of days before my surgery. I have a membership on hold at Curves now. The least they can do it let me get weighed and measured. I am not going to tell them why hehe. Won't that be funny to measure and weigh the next month and be down 15 pounds or more hehehe. I figure I will do Curves after I am healed enough. Maybe for about 3-4 months and then I will need to get a membership at a gym where I can do weight training and maybe some water aerobics. Who knows!?!?!
November 28, 2003
My husband just got home and brought in the mail. I heard him walking towards me and was a slight bit nervous thinking that he could be bringing me the paper from the surgeon's office. It was two envelopes from them. One was a plain envelope and the other was more official looking. I decided to open the plain one first. I eased it open and saw that it said my iron levels were a bit low and I need to take Vitron-C. I then opened the next one. I cringed and opened it. I unfolded the paper and saw a box of pre-operative testing. Then I saw the date of procedure. 2/9/04 in the afternoon. So...I am scheduled at least. I still am not going to accept it until I have the approval letter from the insurance company. They also have a cancellation list I can get on. I just don't know if I should or not. The more I have learned the harder it is to make a firm decision. I was telling another woman that I wish that I had been able to do this 3 years ago. I would have known just enough, but not enough to scare me to pieces. Now I feel my mortality.
The date is 2 days after my parent's 33 wedding anniversary. It would be a nice present to them. A daughter on her way to health. :)
My pre-op group is in January and my pre-op testing is in February. This is soooooooooooooo weird to think that my name is down for this surgery. I wonder if my mind will just float along and allow my body to do this. It seems that this is how I have done all my other surgeries. Life just floats along and then the time I am looking towards is past. It could be 73 days unless I get a cancelled date. I wonder if that other girl I met at the office is scheduled the same day as me. It would be nice to have a WL buddy going into this.
I wanted to tell everyone on here and on my other group that I have a date. I am seriously considering calling the Lap Band place and telling them that I have a date for another procedure and need to know how long it would take to get surgery with them. I hate having a brain that what ifs so many things.
I have been writing just in case something happens to me letters in my head already. Morbid? I don't think so. I feel it is good to get something down just in case something did happen. I would want my son, hubby, family and friends to have something heartfelt from me. Nothing will replace me, but at least to have something to hang onto. I need to start a quilt for my son. :)
I keep seeing posts from people who have complications and it worries me. It gets me thinking....am I doing the right thing? I know I am....but the what ifs worry me. I am going to try and keep a positive attitude. I have been writing myself a fresh post-op letter. I tell myself that this is what I wanted and yes it could hurt for awhile. I remind myself that I may end up hating any soupy or soft textured food after awhile and that vomiting and nausea are normal for this procedure. I remind myself to take my vitamins and protein seriously!!! To get that water in and to get up and MOVE my butt around! I am going to make myself a list to do in the hospital regarding walking, moving my legs, etc.
It is funny but I have already thought about packing my bags and getting my food stuffs NOW. I do need to go get some good vitamins. I am still so confused on what to get. Vista Vitamins or the Bariatric Supplement Basic package. How many vitamins a day do I need? My dad takes vitamins twice a day. He does because he has asbestos in his lungs and broke his shoulder blade, two vertebrae, and six of his ribs in a fall. The orthopaedic doctor said that he should get used to taking them for the rest of his life. I figure if Dad can take an army of vitamins a day...so can I. But WHICH ONE??? I take 7 medications already, plus a childrens chewable and calcium with magnesium and something else hehe. Now I need to add iron to that whole mix.
It hasn't hit yet!!! But it will!!!
December 12, 2003
You know, this still hasn't hit me yet. That I do have a date, still not confirmed by the insurance. Although it could be, but I sure haven't checked. Why am I so numb about this all? Well, not numb but just floating towards it like a raft toward a waterfall. What kind of waterfall though? Is it a small rapids type? Or is it a thrill seeker type? Or is it Niagra Falls? Right now I am not sure that I care. I mean, I do care, but just unaware maybe?
I do NOT want to die! I do NOT want to have complications with this surgery. I do not want to have to stay in the hospital longer than the few days for recovery. I do not want to have any other types of surgeries to have to repair things gone awry. I do not want to be dehydrated, nauseous, or vomiting. I want to be able to wake up normally from anesthesia. I want little to no pain. I want to get up and walk around just fine. I want a quick easy recovery period. I want to be able to have an easy time with my clear, liquid, pureed, and soft foods period of time. I also want to be able to return to eating normally when it is time. I don't want to dump on anything. I want to be healthier. I want to be thinner. I want to be around for my son and hubby and any future kid/s we may have. I want to have this all work correctly.
Someone asked me why I am thinking about this surgery. I told them I am at the 40-41 BMI and nothing else works for long. They said, well, why not try the lap band instead since I don't have so much to lose? I have wondered why I don't just wait it out for the lap band. But, in the back of my mind, I think it would be temporary as the diets have been. It would be nice to just have the quick band surgery. To have shorter recovery time, less liquid diet stage, not rely on supplements and vitamins(although we should be taking them anyways), and to lose slower. But I worry that it would slip, or that I would learn to eat around the band and not have the slap on the hand that I need with the RNY.
If I just lose 100 pounds I will be down to 166. If I lose 80 pounds I will be down to 186. Even if I just lost the 65% of excess weight that would put me at 201. I am sure that I could squeeze under the 200 pound mark. Am I nuts for doing this surgery? No. I am just tired of everything else not working.
You know something that worries me? How prepared are we really for this surgery? We can watch the movies. Take the nutrition classes. Research about foods, vitamins, exercises, surgeons, etc,etc,etc. But how prepared are we really? Did anyone really get what they expected? Did anyone really understand how a post-op really feels until they actually had the surgery? I think it is like having a baby naturally or C-section. No one really knows what to expect or how it could possibly feel until they have a baby either way. I know that I was as prepared as I could be when I had my son, but I still couldn't believe the amount of pain, and didn't know exactly how to push until it came down to it all. So, how do I know what to really expect with the WLS until I have it done?!?! I want to be complication free. But, I do know what is out there to look for. But if it happens to me will I remember? hehe
I am STILL stumped on the vitamin debate! Some of the long time post-ops that I talk to on my group are taking regular multivitamins and calcium tablets and are fine with that. What about the Vista Vitamins and the Bariatric Advantage one? They say that they are best for post-ops because of the way they are formulated. Do they really cost the same as buying supplements and vitamins off the counter? I want the best vitamins that I can get for WLS. I don't want to get to the point that I need extra strength anything from the doctors office.
I think that I am going to get the 4 week of Vista Chewables to see how they are. I am on my Vitron-C now. It is iron plus vitamin C. The last group meeting they passed out a newsletter that said it is the best one to take. I sure hope so. My iron was low and my surgeon said that she won't do my surgery until my iron level is really good.
Does anyone else feel guilty about spending the money on themselves? So far I have spent $5 for an office co-pay. $50 towards the $400 program fee, $ 19 for the Vitron C. About $8 dollars on protein samples. I think that is it. I need to come up with the rest of the program fee before my surgery. I need to buy some protein drinks, and get my vitamins. I never spend money on myself. I feel horrible doing it. But I know in my heart and mind that I HAVE to do this.
I am tired all the time now. The winter blahs have set in. It is cold and we had over 18 inches of snow last weekend. It is melted down mostly from all the rain we had yesterday. But today it is colder again. I am also sick. I don't know if it is the flu or just a cold. I was sick for about 6 weeks. I got over it last week. Now again here it is. But it was a different cold or flu. It started fresh, not over again and again like the other one did. It just makes me so tired. Last night I kept coughing and coughing. My voice is strained too.
I have been noticing that I haven't been turning myself over much at night. I wake up with my hip burning and hurting. Pressure. I used to wake up and turn over. Now I wake up and then fall asleep again. Only to wake up later and still not move again. I wonder if I will need to get a new mattress after WLS. Did anyone else have to? We flip it once a month because I always feel like I am sleeping in a hole. I hate being FLUFFY! Ah, FAT, who am I kidding?!?!
Sometimes I read the message board and I feel so discouraged. I also feel overwhelmed because I don't know who to reply to or what to say. When I do reply I have to find my way back to where I was before and then keep reading through. I hate seeing empty threads. I feel like I want to send an answer to everyone, but that is impossible. I feel like time and energy is wasted on posts that shouldn't even ever be responded to at all. The threads just keep going and going. Then what? Someone catches a glimpse of people going off about it being erased and then bring it up all over again. UGH!!! People are going into surgery, or asking questions and not getting answers because of foolishness or foolish pride dragging things down. People are feeling left out in the cold because the squeaky wheel member of the family is getting the attention they are craving. Do I feel left out sometimes? Absolutely! Do you know what I do about it? Nothing hehehe. I just go past the threads that are worthless and keep going. I also have found a local support group on Yahoo that is wonderful. I get those questions answered that would otherwise get passed by on the main message board here. I get local support and information that people have. I don't get overlooked or made to feel stupid for asking a question or 90 that many others may have posted about before. I know...enough complaining and feeling sorry for myself.
I am just feeling low from being sick for so long. Worrying about my son and family if something did ever happen. Living for the rest of my life like this. The reality of it all. Trying not to take on other peoples problems without addressing my own. Worrying about financial needs being met and feeling selfish for doing this surgery.
I need to remember that I am worthy of time, love, effort, energy, and existing. I am worthy of someone being there for me. I am worthy of spending money on myself, for myself. I am worthy of this surgery.
Did you ever feel like here you have this wonderful gift handed to you on a silver plate....a surgery date with a great surgeon and a great program to follow up with. And you are too scared to take it!?!?!? You see others in tears and hurting so much because they were denied coverage, or appeals over and over again. They are giving up and you have this gift in front of you that you aren't sure that you want. So many others are willing to jump on it and would be so thankful for it. Yet you just can't decide if you want it or not.
GOD!!! Kerri, get over yourself!!!! I think I need to take a few days off from here. I need to figure things out in my head. I need to recover from feeling sick all the time. I need to get WLS out of my head and not think about it 24/7. I even dream about it. It is surrounding me.
December 20, 2003
After feeling sorry for myself for a bit, I posted to my support group and I was really glad that I did. They were very supportive even though they didn't understand my not wanting a blood transfusion if it came down to it. Yesterday I went to my surgeons office for my one month pre-op weigh in. I got there, sat down for like 4 minutes and was called back. I weighed in at FOUR POUNDS DOWN!!! I was happy because they want you to lose weight before surgery. Then I sat about 4 minutes waiting for my surgeon. She came in an apologized for me having to wait. She then asked me how serious I was about not taking a blood transfusion if necessary. I told her that I wouldn't take one. She then said that she wouldn't do the surgery. She felt uncomfortable. She also said that the anesthesia people wouldn't do it either. I asked her if it was because she had done less than 25 lap RNY's? She said no. She said that she felt like she was pointing a loaded gun doing the WLS already, but didn't want to pull the trigger at me. I wasn't worried about anything. I knew that if I had any bleeding that it would be controlled long before I had to worry about a blood transfusion. I had talked with her last month at my consult. She had been fine with it then. Now she isn't. I wish she would have been up front last month. Or had called me instead of me having to drive an hour almost, pay my copay, and then pay for parking on top of it all. So, they refunded my fee for the program and off I went in tears.
I immediately called my husband. He said that he would see what he could do for me. He talked with a doctor where he works and told them that I had actually been scheduled and gone through a lot of preparation for this surgery. He said that he would see what could be done since I had done so much already.
I was so looking forward to being able to wear my smaller summer clothes. Not being as hot in the summer. Looking good and most of all feeling good!
So, I still have my name in at another program, I just have to wait and jump through their hoops now. SIGH! Hopefully, just not as many.
I still would recommend Newton Wellesley Hospital Program and Dr. Partridge too.
I hope that things can roll along smoothly with the other program. Maybe I will get the Lap Band now. If they are so worried about blood transfusions and all.
December 24, 2003
If I was still having surgery I would be 46 days from my surgery date. Everything I think is in RNY now instead of Lap Band. I really need to reconsider things now. The program that I am going to now does both surgeries. Hubby also said that they were going to expand the WLS program at UMASS, but just put things on hold because of the new device they put in your stomach to control hunger. I was telling him what little I knew about it and that it wasn't holding a candle compared to WLS. That a few people have had good results, but a majority have lost less than people with the lap band do. But that is just the limited amount that I know about it.
I have been feeling down still about things. I just hate not having a surgery date now. It feels like my little bit of hope is gone. Sure, I can go to this other program, but I am just so scared that I am going to have to wait for a year. I guess that I have no choice, but I just don't know if I have it in me. I had hoped that this would be my last overweight holiday season(even though I don't celebrate the holidays.) I just hate going to the inlaws houses and being the fat one.
I am so tired and worn down. I am sick, achey, and I don't even have the flu. Sorry for the pity party again. I am going to go make lunch for my son.
January 23, 2004
I guess it has been awhile since I updated. January 5th, I went to see the bariatrician at UMASS. He did my evaluation. He is the one that you normally see just before the surgeon. I had high hopes that they would let me slide through their program since I had been approved at NWH already. Dr. Gitkind, the bariatrician had said that he was going to try and see what he could do. I ended up getting called and scheduled to see the surgeon. I had really hoped that this meant I was going to get a break. But he basically told me that he had no issues at all with the no blood for me, and that he felt it wouldn't be fair to push me ahead of the line. I told him that I was ready and that I had already been approved. He said he understood but that I had to follow their guidelines. I understood and asked if he could at least find out where I am in the process. He said that the secretary would probably be able to find out. So hubby and I asked her. She said that I didn't need to wait for the psych evaluation to get my nutrition appt out of the way. She also told me that they don't go by the list of people who call in. They go by the list of sign-ins at the meetings. I had been told it was 4-6 months before they called to give you an appt and then it was another month before you got to go in for that appt. That put me at February-April sometime. Very discouraging since my other surgery date was for February 9th. She said that she would see what she could find out. Well, hubby and I went over to nutrition and then left a note. By the time I got home there was a message for me from nutrition. I am scheduled for the first part of February for my nutrition appt. WOOHOO! Then about 20 minutes later psych people called and gave me an appt near the end of Feb. So, I should have nutrition requirements out of the way by the time I have psych eval out of the way. I am so happy about all this. I am really hoping that things will move along fast and I can get a surgery date for March or April. Dr. Perugini is one of the surgeons there. He does Lap RNY and Lap Band as well. He is very young looking though. He looks to be about my age. Dr. Kelly is another surgeon who does lapband. Dr. Perugini said that his turn around time is about a month. So when I see him again it will be less than a month until my surgery date. I am most likely going for the lapband. It is what I had wanted in the first place, but I still toy with the idea of getting the lap RNY now. I had really been shaken up when Dr. Partridge took me on as a patient and then turned around and said No. I understand why she did, but why does UMASS have no problem with it? Dr. Perugini said that he has done 200+ surgeries and never had to transfuse one person. I think that the lapband will be good. It will be slower for sure, but I can do it!!! It will help me with my main problem...being hungry all the time. I will get full on a smaller amount of food, and I will stay fuller for longer. I found out that people with PCOS are often hungry all the time because of the insulin resistance. I am looking forward to getting normal hormone levels again and feeling normal. Sure the funky hairs are still there and will be, until I can save up for laser hair removal hehe. I sure have a lot to save for...plastic surgery, laser hair removal, maybe a hair piece until my hair comes back in...new wardrobe, and accessories to go with it.
Has anyone else gotten bored with reading things here? I hardly go to the Main Message Board anymore. I find myself getting bored with it all. I want this surgery more than anything right now, but I feel like I have read all that I can. I think that I also had much disappointment with my surgery being cancelled that I just needed a break. I tend to read the LapBand board. I hate seeing the struggles between everyone. Lapband vs RNY or RNY vs DS or whatever else combo there is. Everyone else thinks that their surgery is the end-all beat-all surgery. I feel that not everyone has had a choice in their surgery. Some have had restrictions from where they live, who their doctor is, or what their insurance will cover. Some have been misinformed about one procedure, or didn't do enough information gathering to make an informed decision. I know that for me, my insurance just started covering Lap Band. Before my choice was RNY. Lap or Open. I just found out that they aren't covering lap RNY anymore though. Some legal loop hole. Weird huh? Everyone doesn't have the options like others do. If mine didn't cover lapband I could have appealed it. But now they do. I had been going for the RNY. There were things I really liked and disliked about both surgeries. DS/BD or Fobi pouch or mini gastric bypass were never options for me. Now there is that new gastric pacemaker. Is that going to revolutionize things? Now Massachusetts is setting up an investigative commission to check out WLS. Will this also effect my decision on surgery? I think that it is being prejudice when one person says that their surgery is right and another type is wrong! If I had RNY, I wou