kinkobaby
I have been fighting the weight loss demons for so long, I am beginning if it will happen for me. I grew up in a home different and the only one with a constant growing belly. I played all kinds if sports, rode my bike, climbed trees, and even went to amusement parks back in the day. I tried to figure out back then why was I the only one fat. I ate the same things as my family and friends. Never went back for seconds and yet I was the one getting fat. My mom, dad, and sister are all weight below 200bls. Me I top the scales and can't figure out what happened to me. I was bullied really bad in school and there was times I would hide in our basement. I sat down there and played by myself with my Barbies. I knew there no one could see me and make fun. I did not have too many friends growing up in school and most of them was friends of my sister. Well I did have one that was really close and she saw some of the things back in our elementary days was like. In the sixth grade kids started asking me if I was pregnant and asked who the daddy was. It was just not the students that made fun of me, but the teachers all did it too. One beat me, one fed me candy so I would make it to her classed on time in the 2nd grade, one teacher has me run laps around school to lose weight, and well the principal just turned her head the other way. Finally in the 8th grade I just broke down and cried out for my dad. I had enough of them spoil brats getting to best of me and I just did not want to go back. But then I remembered that I only had to deal with them for a couple of months. My parents over the years put me on Weight Watchers, made me eat can carrots, diets, and nothing worked. I was 300bls the time I left the 8th grade and starting to lose faith I would never get it off.
Once I got to high school things was not as bad I have to admit. I made friends for the first time and folks treated me well. At least until my sophmore year and some girls thought it would be funny to put these pills in my Coke. They cause me to shake really bad and sent me to the hospital. There was a group of people that used to make fun of me and treat me like crap. I used to miss a lot of days cause I did not want people to look at me. My junior year the half of the class voted for me to be on homecoming court and I was in the final four. When they called my name then whole place cheered for me, but when it was all over. I knew it was nothing more than a big joke for them and well I did come in 2nd place.
Now I am fighting the bully of the workplace and government. I have worked in the hospitality industry for over 10 years and I knew it was right for me. I love being around new people that way cause they are just forgiving of what I look like and my personality was really sweet to those who walked into the hotel. I worked for one hotel and the manager would not promote me cause my health was bad. Only thing that was wrong during the time I was with this place was I had asthma and low iron. I won't lie I was about 400bls at the time too and getting around was not easy, but I did what I was suppose to. A manager at that hotel set me up to quitting by having a guest sexuall harrass me and the hotel company never even believed me. The man followed me out to my car and who knows what could of happened. Then I worked for a hotel and I trained the whole staff. Management, Housekeeping staff, and all front office. Once I guess I did all that he told me I made his hotel look bad with my weight and fired me.
I filed to ask for SSI benefits cause at this point in time my asthma is worse, knees have arthritis in them, legs are swelling, I put on 80bls, blood pressure keeps going up cause I get stressed, stuck in a house 24/7, can hardly fit behind a steering wheel, and wondering why me. I have not lost my personality or my little bit of sass. I finally had to get food stamps, my parents pay my bills until my SSI goes through, and I got medical treatment finally. I got friends that look past my weight now and a man that loves me. They are all very supportive about me looking into losing my weight and what is my best choice in the surgeries. My parents are wonderful and they encourage me not to get down on myself. I sit here at times and cry. I call myself ugly names and wonder why it was me that is like this. During the time that I worked at the hotel I stopped eatting cause I figured that skinny people do it and they don't gain weight. I just kept gaining my weight and someone told me I flatlined my metabolism. My doctors put me on this 2500 calorie diet and I am having a hard time eatting all that food. I use my George Foreman grill like crazy and I watch a lot of the Food Network Channel to get healthy dinner ideas. I have started liking more fruit than sweets. I don't care for junk food and fast food. I don't go to any of them all you can eat places. I just think them places are germ holders. YUCK!!!
Well I have rambled enough on here for one night and looking forward to getting the help I need. Maybe getting to meet people that are in my same ballpark. No one will take me on with insurance companies cause I can't work and I have no idea where I am going to get help paying for the surgeries. But I am going to keep fighting and looking. Good luck to those who are losing, looking to lose, and those who already have.
