Still having issues
Nov 18, 2009
Well, I'm now 20 months post op, and still having alot of issues with food and pain. The pain I believe has nothing to do with the actual surgery since it didn't start until 7 months after my bypass.Food is still a major issue. Some days even the thought of food makes me nauseaus. One day I'll be fine to eat a few bites of something like chicken... the next day I'll grab a piece of left over chicken, and almost as soon as I swallow, it's on its way up again. Very frustrating. i miss food some days so much I actually have to force myself not to cry. I just look in the mirror and remember what I looked like before I had surgery, and I get past the depressing feelings I start having.
The pain, on the other hand, that is something thats gotten me to the point that I've actually considered stabbing my gut so the doctors can actually see something is wrong, and have to fix it. There is no way in hell that someone can have as much pain as I've been having and nothing seems to show up in all the tests they've done on me. I pray that the MRI will show something, anything. I'm tired of taking pain pills, I'm tired of walking around with a grimace of pain on my face as I hold my side praying for death some days.
I keep thinking when they do my autopsy they'll see something and say "oh wow, she really must have been in pain... look at this...."
I tried going into the live chat area of OH tonight, and wow, what a mistake that was. Alot of haters in there making life intolerable for anyone that was actually in there to talk about weight and body issues. It's night's like this that I feel really lonely. Nobody to talk to, even if it is for a shoulder to cry on once in awhile. Ten years I've been alone now, son will be heading to university next year, and the girls the year after that. What kind of lonely will I be once they're gone...
One nice thing about a blog, at least I can cry on my own shoulder, and not get any backlash.
Well thats my update for this night, maybe I'll have a date for my MRI soon, and finally an answer and along with that hope for a painless life.
