kitkat34
Ticker represents 1st goal I want to accomplish.
I have been overweight pretty much all my life. I grew up being the fat kid, which was very hard as a girl to go through. When I got to the age that all my friends were dating and had boyfriends I was left out. The boys who did like me were afraid to ask me out because they would be made fun of by their "friends". As I got older I started dating older guys. When I was fifteen I was dating a 20 year old guy because older guys weren't worried about what their friends said. In school I was over weight but I was also athletic so I was a "healthy overweight".
Because of some things I went through growing up I think my weight became a way for me to keep people at a distance. Then as I got older and married I put on weight due to child bearing and depression. But the significant difference in my weight did not happen until 2002. I had to have a partial thyroidectomy due to a goiter on my thyroid that could not be rulled out as cancerous. After that surgery I started gaining weight rapidly. No one could figure out why I was putting on weight, my thyroid levels were fine as was all my other blood work. So ofcourse the weight gain was my fault, I must have been sitting around eating all day, is what the doctors thought. I was still very active at this point. I was doing everything I was doing before the surgery. I was going to school, counseling at the pregnancy center, very active in church, running the kids everywhere and of course the regular duties of a wife, mom and pastors wife. But the weight was still stacking on. I didn't know what to do and I was not getting help anywhere. Finally my body started giving out. My knees were torn up, I started swelling in my legs and hands, I was in constant pain and my life was starting to dwindle. I went from very active, involved in everything to being at home most of the time. After about a year of doctors telling me my pain was in my head I was diagnosed with severe Fibromyalgia. I was told the swelling in my legs was due to a cyst in one knee and arthritis in both. It wasn't until this year, almost 5 years after the swelling and pain in my legs started, did I finally find out that I have pretty bad Lymphedema.
I am now taking classes on-line as I can no longer go to a class room. I am unable to take my kids places. I can't attend their games or school activities. I am in so much pain that I am pretty much bed bound because I don't want to get to far from the bathroom. I just don't know how I went from where I was to where I am now. Just writting this has me in tears because I miss being there for my kids, I miss being a mom, I miss being active in church and in life!
I am just praying that the Lord will put everything in line so that I can have this surgery and GET MY LIFE BACK! I want to be able to be in His service again and I want to be able to give Him all the glory for my recovery! I know that if this is indeed His will for my life nothing will stand in the way.
