kryspy
************The following is just a running stream of consciousness of sorts... it is chronological, with the earliest postings first, most recent postings last. ************
Hello! As-of today, 02/13/06, every possible Lab, test result, and evaluation has been handed-in to Dr. Weber's office. It's crazy, it feels like I just got started with this whole thing, but wow! Hopefully they'll say that everything is in order and will send the request to First Choice (FCHN) and it will get approved. I've been working-out with my husband, Steve, at Pure Fitness... we've cut-out Fast Food... I've cut my Fat Intake in half, at least... I need this to work!!!!!!!!!!
October 9, 2006
It has been more than "a while" since I last checked-in, I'm sorry! About a month after I posted my last entry, my Dr. Weber's office called and said that they just found-out I had to complete 6 - 12 months with a Nutritionist/Dietician (meeting 3 times/month) before I could be approved. *sigh*. Like talking to someone is really going to make the weight come off...! Well, I have been going to Chloe Tay at the Renton Health Clinic near my home for the past 6 months, and have actually learned a couple of things.
My weight is about the same as it was 8 months ago (360-ish pounds). I'd know more, but Pure Fitness doesn't have a scale that goes beyond 350. Steve and I have been going there about 4 or 5 times a week doing weight training and cardio - he looks amazing! I, however, still look like a fat girl flailing her arms around... and it's embarassing. I just want this surgery SO BADLY!
When I saw Dr. Weber a couple of weeks ago, he wasn't impressed with my lack of weight loss. He put me on a low-to-no-fat diet, a mandatory 45-minutes-a-day exercise program, and also said that I had to lose 10 - 15 pounds by the next time I see him (Oct. 24, 2006) or else I won't get my surgery in December when I wanted it.
To say that I'm stressed, terrified, nervous, or a wreck would be an understatement! I went to see my Nutritionist about 4 days after my last appointment with Dr. Weber, and according to her scale I'd already lost 6 pounds! However, when I went to the gym 2 days later, it said that I gained 4 of those pounds back - and remember, this is the gym whose scale only goes to 350... the trainer weighing me was convinced that it works, though. Hm.
That's it for now! As soon as Steve gets off work, we're heading to the gym for a couple of hours. Normally it'd just be 45 minutes, but M/W/F are my weight training days on TOP of cardio. Wish me well!
November 13th, 2006
Dr. Weber was impressed with the 10 lbs. that I lost for our 10/24/06 appointment, and challenged me to just keep going! It has been extremely hard for me to stick to the no-fat diet that he wants me to adhere to, and for that I am ashamed. I have been trying, but there are just some days when I feel so weak and so tired of having to eat every 1.5 to 2.5 hours! It's not normal! I understand that my eating habits will be changing drastically after the surgery, so please don't get me wrong, but for right now it is immensely hard.
I have lost another 7 pounds since then, so that's cool. We haven't been working-out as much as we should be, though... both of us got sick, then tired, then depressed... excuses, excuses! I'll be back in tomorrow... don't you worry!
For the really big news (not that my reaching 349 lbs. isn't amazing!), John from Dr. Weber's office submitted my surgery request!!!!!!!!!!! I believe he did this on Thursday, October 26th, 2006. That means that the insurance company (First Choice Health Network, or FCHN) has 30 days from that point on to "yea" or "nay" my claim. I called John on Thursday of last week to see if he had heard anything, and to basically asuage my fears, and he said that he expected to hear from them by the next day (Friday) or early the next week (a.k.a., today or tomorrow).
To say that I'm nervous doesn't even BEGIN to cover it!! Steve and I are both walking on eggshells right now, but our friends and family, as well as Dr. Weber, seem certain that this is going to happen; my mother-in-law, LaVada, is 100% certain. Super. Rub off on me, will ya?!?!?!
... I'll let ya know what happens.
November 15th, 2006
I GOT APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't even begin to tell you what a joy this is. I called my husband about 13 minutes after it happened, and he just kept saying "No shit?!" over and over, and later told me that he was crying, he was so happy. Now, if you can picture a big, strong, semi-truck building man crying, it will melt your heart.
John, from Dr. Weber's office, called me at 11:20 this morning (waking me from a nap!), and told me the good news. I'm still in shock I think, because I'm kinda numb. As-of right now, we're shooting to have the surgery on the day after Christmas, December 26th. I should be out of the hospital on the 28th, and back to work on the 5th.
Amen! Amen! Amen!
This is the best news I could have possibly received, and at the best possible time; this week has been so hard... too stressed about this to sleep... our car breaking down and not having all the money to pay for it without asking Steve's family for help... work stress... ALL BETTER!
November 17th, 2006
Just as I thought I would, I backslid a little bit the last couple of days. The joy that came with knowing that I was approved for my surgery also brought laziness with it! Luckily, I'm still losing weight (I'm at 345 as-of last night), but no more of this cheating! I know Dr. Weber will be able to tell if I've been cheating or not, so I don't want to start on that slippery slope.
I've decided that Monday is the day that the Exercising Machine formerly known as Krystal (ha!) kicks back in. With Steve and I both being tired and sick lately, it was damn near impossible to get to the gym. NOT ANYMORE! It's back to the grind, baby!
The only real problems I'm having right now, aside from the exercise thing, are:
1. I'm always hungry, thanks to my metabolism being up and my synthroid meds.
2. I'm worried that I'm becomming too obsessed with the scale at my in-laws house.
Think happy thoughts for me... this month is going to pass too slowly!
November 20th, 2006
I HAVE A SURGERY DATE!
Summer, Dr. Weber's scheduling-superwoman, called me this afternoon while I was shopping in d.town Seattle. I called her back, and she had a definite date for me! I'm going under-the-knife/scalple/drill/whatever on Tuesday, December 26th at 7:30 in the morning. !!SWEETNESS!! She also scheduled my Pre-Op appointment with Dr. Weber for Thursday, December 21st. I also need to go to Stevens Hospital in Edmonds to get bloodwork and an EKG done that day as well.
I have a few questions for Dr. Weber, mostly regarding the food stuff. I was told that I have to stick to a liquid diet over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so that's a little sad. HOWEVER, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
November 30th, 2006
344 - 347 lbs.
Not a whole lot to tell I guess... I'm in that lovely waiting period that I've heard so much about! It's so frustrating! I just want to get this over with, get on with my life, and be healthy!
The main thing to report is this: I thought that our insurance-cycle ran on a calendar-year basis... and no. I was wrong. Apparently, it goes from the time we enrolled in our Medical Benefits plan, which was mid-November. According to that, we still have most of our $2,000 Out-Of-Pocket limit to meet.
What does this mean? We'll have to pay about $1,163 worth of my surgery/hospital stay. I know that isn't much, especially to everyone that has had to pay for this themselves without any help from insurance, but to us it's waaaaaaaay too much! We're trying to pay-off credit cards and other long-standing bills so that we can be able to afford a nicer, bigger apartment in d.town Renton. We're so tired of our 710 sq. foot piece of crap! I could go on and on about this place, but what's the point?
I feel so depressed. I know I got approved for the surgery... I know that everything will work out the way God wants it to, but my stupid, small, human brain just can't handle that. I'm the kind of person who needs to see where things are headed... not so I can control them, but so I can know what to expect. I don't 'act', I 'react'! With the stress of wondering if I've lost enough weight for Dr. Weber to be proud of me/still want to do the surgery, worrying about having enough time off from work (I'm planning on being out from the 26th of December to the 7th of January - 12 days), and if we'll have enough money... argh!
I think that's it for now. I'm just going to work myself up and, since I'm at work right now, that may not be a good idea! I'm a Site Assistant (think "Receptionist" and "Administrative Assistant" rolled into one).
Later!
December 13th, 2006
So, I'm pretty much playing the waiting-game! I have my pre-opp appointment with Dr. Weber (as well as the nurses at Stevens Hospital) on the 21st (8 days away!), then I'm in the home stretch. I can't believe that I'm only 13 days away from such a major life-change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm a little worried about my bloodwork that day. We didn't have money to buy my Metformin (diabetes meds) for nearly a week, and I don't know what that will do to my A1C levels... or even if that counts towards anything.
I guess that's about it for now. I'm trying to eat well and stay active, but it's hard. HARD, I tell you! I'm just tired. I think my father-in-law is getting me an iPod for Christmas, so maybe that will re-motivate me!
December 18th, 2006
345-ish pounds
Wow. It's 8 days until my surgery (3 days until my Pre-Opp)... I can't believe how quickly this has gone by! It definitely doesn't feel like yesterday that Steve and I first started talking about this, but it has gone faster than I expected (I'm a bit of a pessimist that way!).
I'm nervous that Dr. Weber isn't going to like the little progress that I've made, and that he'll deny my surgery based on that. Steve keeps telling me that it's just my fears and the whole 'worst case scenario' aspect of my personality, so I'm trying really hard to believe him.
Can you believe how much being obese messes with your mind? Good things happen to you, and you second-guess them because, hey, good things just don't happen to fat people! It's depressing, really. I can't wait for the day I realize (or, more likely, Steve points-out to me) that I'm not tugging down on my shirt anymore... or holding my coat closed... or worrying about everyone staring at me. *sigh*. That's going to be amazing, and worth all of the pain of this procedure.
One of my best friends' Mom, Dinah, is a newly certified LMP and is going to give me stomach massages to help premote better healing and less scar tissue on my incision. Also, she mentioned something about giving me relaxation and circulation massages so as to get all the ickies out of my system! That's awesome... I bet it will help with getting extra fat broken-down and out of my system faster, too.
So, I think that's it for now. The entire western side of Washington state was hit with a crazy windstorm this last week, and while I was one of the lucky ones that did NOT lose power, we managed to somehow lose our cable and internet connections... and they seem to keep coming back on and going back off... it's strange.
Later!
Krystal
December 25th, 2006
342 - 344 lbs.
SURGERY TOMORROW?!?!
Merry Christmas to all! I spent yesterday (Christmas Eve) sucking-down soups and various milkshakes/liquids while my in-laws had pizza...! My husband was amazing as always, but it was definitely hard to sit there, head-hungry, and wanting what everyone else is having. The same thing happened today at Christmas Dinner. LaVada made me some jello, and I sucked on chicken broth, gatorade, or water while everyone else had mashed potatoes, turkey, sweet potatoes, gravey, rolls, and stuffing. AH!
I guess this is what I've heard so much about - the head-hunger, and the "buyer's remorse", except that I haven't even 'bought' yet! I know I'll be able to eat real food again (over two months from now), but I won't be able to have A LOT of it. I never realized how important that is to me. I don't like it, not at all.
Well, Steve just started some more laundry... I have an iPod Nano (thanks, in-laws!) to load-up for tomorrow... then there's the sex! I won't be able to get around to it for a while, so... ;)
The next time you hear from me, I'll be on the infamous "LOSING SIDE"!
December 29th, 2006
342-ish lbs.
Well, I'm back! I had my Vertical Banded Gastroplasty on Tuesday the 26th, and everything went well. I plan on updating everyone and writing on the message boards, but I'm exhausted already and my stomach is reeeeeally tight right now. I need to go relax!
CHEERS!
Krystal
January 7th, 2007
322-ish lbs.
I've officially been home from the hospital for 10 days, post-op for 12. Even knowing this, I'm still worried/paranoid/freaking-out that I won't lose enough weight to make this surgery worth it.
The pureed diet is so hard... even knowing that I physically can't eat any other way! It's difficult when I'm around my family and friends and they can have all of their normal food... it smells so good... I'm serious, it hurts. I have 6.5 weeks left until I can go back on solid foods, and I'm trying to make the most of it. I've lost 20 pounds since surgery, and that's pretty cool (I actually lost 20 pounds by 1/2/07). I've seemed to have plateaued at 20 pounds, however, because I haven't lost any weight since last Tuesday or Wednesday - IT'S PISSING ME OFF.
I got the 'ok' to go back on the treadmill and sweat it off, so that's great! I still have to wait about a week before doing my arm weights, and another 5 weeks before even trying to do anything with my abs or any of the other weight machines. It's nice, though; I'll be working-out at near full-force an entire week before I start back on solid food. Hopefully, that will give me an advantage.
I had my staples removed on Thursday the 4th. It didn't hurt! I had my self all worked-up, thinking that it was going to be this big, ripping sensation when in reality, it wasn't.
People are already telling me that they can see a difference in my appearance. My face is definitely thinner, so that's cool. My mother-in-law just bought me two new pairs of pants from Lane Bryant - they're elastic waists, one brown/one black, and perfect for work. Based on how stretchy they are, I think I can get some use out of them for a couple of months.
I think that's it for now. I'm at work, so I should probably LOOK like I'm working!
- Krystal
January 11th, 2007
319-ish pounds
Well, thanks to the amazingly huge amount of snow that dumped on the Greater Seattle area yesterday evening, I wasn't able to go to the gym last night. HOWEVER, I will be there this evening! It started snowing while I was at work and, considering as how I get off at 10:30 p.m., I didn't want to try and brave newly-snowed roads.
I made it to the gym on Monday, with Steve. We stuck to the treadmill (doctor's orders!), and managed to go for 35 minutes! I was so impressed with myself! I burned 333 calories!! Steve did amazingly well, too - he set it to the Fat Burn setting and just went with it. I have to tell you, the iPod his parents got me for Christmas reeeeeally works wonders - what a great way to stay motivated / pumped-up!
We didn't make it to the gym on Tuesday. My left tennis shoe has a spot where the fabric has worn away, leaving the hard plastic to rub against my heel. We decided, instead, to go see Steve's parents and use their treadmill (since I could be in my socks)!! I was so happy that I actually made myself get on it. I only did 25 minutes, but without my shoes it was just too much.
I have work today (3:30 to 10:30), so it's going to be a late night with having to battle the snow to get to Pure Fitness. I get to start on my arms, though, so I'm excited. Muscle helps burn fat!
I'm still battling with head-hunger. The other night, Steve made cheeseburger macaroni with some venison sausage thrown in for more protein. He saved some for me, and I threw it in the blender with some more milk and heated it up. It was AMAZING! I had a couple of bites (small ones) of whole noodles and whole clumps of hamburger, and it helped just to feel normal food again. I'm off to go make a fat-free yogurt smoothie... I had pureed soup a couple of hours ago (and I'll make some more to take with me to work), but I'm hungry for a snack. Hooray for actually feeling hunger and fullness!
- Krystal
January 26th, 2007
312-ish pounds
HAPPY ONE MONTH POST-OPP!
I can't believe how much my mindset towards food has changed. Just a week ago I was whining about how I don't get to eat as much as my husband does at meals. Now? I'm still struggling with taking my time while I eat (I'm in the semi-solid/soft foods phase for the next 3 weeks), but I think my attitude towards food in general is changing for the good. It's crazy; there are times where I'll avoid some part of my meal, because I know that it will add no nutritional value to what I'm consuming - then there are times where it feels perfectly fine/natural to have whatever I want.
I've been doing really well with the whole 'gym' thing. I'm going M-Th for at least 45 minutes each time, even though it's more like 45 on the treadmill... plus about 20 minutes of weights. I can definitely tell a difference! It's so cool - Steve and I went apartment-hunting a week ago and had to walk up a hill and up and down stairs... and I didn't even get winded! ME! The petite, skinny little wisp of a woman showing us the apartment was breathing heavily. HA!
So far, so good. Aside from the times where I eat too quickly (OH MY WORD, the worst chest pain EVER), I think it's okay. I'm adjusting to my new life. People I barely know are telling me that I look better. My face is thinner, my boobs stand-out more, my stomach is shrinking, and my thighs are getting more and more in-shape. Steve measured me tonight, as we plan on doing each month on the 26th, so it will be cool to see how I've changed. We also took the typical "One Month" picture today to go with the one from last month. Both he and his mom say they can see a HUGE difference!!
Here's to even better things!
- Krystal
388/312/190
January 30th, 2007
310-ish pounds
Well, I finally did it. I threw-up.
I'd been having a couple of bites of terriyaki chicken and rice that my husband had brought to work for me, and I think some of it got stuck. I'm SO not ready for that kind of food yet, and shame on me for trying to force myself to be!!!! I'm so angry at myself, you have no idea. As it turned out, I couldn't take the pain anymore and suddenly got nauseous beyond my ability to control it. I prayed that no one would see me (I was at work) and threw up into the trashcan. I felt SO MUCH better.
I just got a second job (I start in a week), so I'm really stressed-out. I'm trying to stay calm and take time for myself, but I'm honestly not seeing how it's going to happen. If I'm not sleeping, I'm working (both are part-time jobs, but still). We're trying to get in to a nicer apartment in our area, and "nicer" means "more money"!!
Oh well. You know that saying that goes "God won't give you more than you can bear"? Well, it's wrong. God won't give you more than you can bear, unless you don't turn to Him. ;)
Here's to a better week, eh?
- Krystal
388/310/190
February 6th, 2007
300, 305, 310, or 312 pounds
Yes, that's a range of 12 pounds...! Each scale that I try is completely different!! It's driving me crazy. ARGH! I've been so careful with my food these last couple of days (and got back to the gym after about a week off during my period), and just want to see that it's working.
I don't know how everyone else is, but it seems like the more you watch the numbers on the scale, the less it moves. It's when you go a couple of days without checking that you get the surprise of the numbers dropping by a couple of good pounds! Stupid weight.
I think that's all for now. This is my "Week of Beauty", even though it was completely unexpected! I got the first of 8 treatments for laser hair removal on my face (thank you, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and a manicure yesterday... I'm about to walk to my hairstylist for a root-touchup and a new hair cut, then I go to the dentist's office on Thursday for a cleaning! It feels so good to just relax and be pampered a little bit.
- Krystal
388/310?/190
February 12th, 2007
298 - 305-ish lbs.
I can't believe it! Depending on the scale, I've lost 37 - 44 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried on some old clothes (typical, I know!) that were size 26/28 and most of them were way too big. I'm back in a 42 DD bra (my favorite size) and, while trying on tops, decided to try on some of my sexier bras along with them. I HAD THE SEXIEST CURVES...! Steve was so amazed, he giggled. Him!
I made sure to hit the gym this morning (good thing, too, 'cause my boss called and asked if I could fill-in for my coworker, Kyle, who is sick with the flu) and focused on my legs, the eliptical (over 100 calories in just 7 1/2 minutes!!), and my abs. It was my first ab workout since before the surgery, and I think it went pretty well. I used one of the machines that the gym has (with a weight of about 50-55 pounds), and managed not to hurt myself. I can feel it a little bit, so that's cool. I know all this working out is worth it, both for my health and for my self esteem. I've felt so much more girly! I'm dressing better, wearing makeup, and getting looks from guys that would normally never have looked my way.
I'm going to go run some errands before my appointment with Dr. Ball (my Endocrinologist who first told me to get the surgery). He's going to go over my recent Lab Work with me - my cholesterol is high, and I need a new birth control prescription, too. Then? It's off to work! I was supposed to have today and tomorrow off, but oh well. It's an extra $182! We can definitely put that to use.
- Krystal
388/301.5(average)/190
February 15th, 2007
300 lbs.
Hello! I just got back from my 6-week (although it's really my 7th week) appointment with Dr. Weber. He's happy with the weight that I've lost since surgery (~42 pounds according to my and the gym's scale, ~33 according to his). He's always very informative and attentive to any questions I may have... I'm really glad I chose him for my surgery!
Want to hear something crazy? He said that, while the exercise that I'm doing is great, he wants me to ramp it up even more. MORE?! More. I'm am now supposed to do 45 minutes of cardio 7 days/week; if I'm at the gym, then it's 15 on the eliptical, 15 on the treadmill, and 15 on the bike. If I'm not going to the gym that day, then I need to try to walk 3 miles in 45 minutes or less. Why is it that I don't know whether to laugh or cry...? Oh, I know! It's because I have to do all of this on top of the weight training I've been doing, too. It's funny; I just went in for my monthly "reprogram" at Pure Fitness for a trainer to readjust my workout... and, well, he did (the skinny little man)! Jordan added a couple more machines, and upped the weight on the other ones. P A I N !
According to Dr. Weber, I need to shoot for losing about 10 pounds/month, which makes it sound like my weight loss is already slowing down. I don't want it to slow down, I want it to ramp back up! He also advised only checking the scale once a week, twice tops, since the weight comes off in spurts... and there are always plateaus that will be there to discourage me - so why go through them? I think I'll make Friday my weigh-in day for now.
That's it, for now!
-Krystal
388/300/190
March 13th, 2007
288-ish pounds
Hello! I can't believe it has been nearly a month since my last post... but, in a way, I can. It has been a crazy month, that's for sure. I renewed my commitment to the gym... with some interesting results. I'm getting over a cold that my entire in-law family has had - but that has affected me completely differently. While everyone else has been coughing up a lung (not really, but...!) and been really congested, I've just been EXHAUSTED. I was actually a little worried that I might be pregnant (AH!), but nope. I guess the cold just took everything out of me, and left me a little congested, but ready to get back to the gym like Dr. Weber wants.
I've thrown-up about 7 times since surgery in December. UGH! I hate that feeling! The last time was last night, after eating a few bites of Safeway's Jumbalaya soup, and a bite or two of Steve's chicken tender. I don't think that's what did it to me, though... I think I was still blocked-up from eating a couple bites of steak on Sunday night. It was the most painful blockage I've experienced in about three weeks!
It's really cool - I'm fitting in to smaller and smaller clothes! I'm wearing a size 20 pants... they're baggy (especially in the butt and thighs!), but after trying a size 18 on at Lane Bryant last Friday, I know I'm just in-between sizes. Nothing getting back to the gym won't fix, right? Right! I'm in a size 20/22 top, which is mind-blowing. I think I was last in that size about a month or so before my wedding... and that was three years ago!!!!! I'm not sure if I'm wearing the right size bra (42DD), but I've already dropped, like, 3 cup sizes and 4 band-sizes since my highest weight! I'm really self-conscious about my chest, so I'm procrastinating on going back in to get measured and re-fitted for a new bra. Stupid, I know... but that's just the way I feel right now. My mother-in-law, LaVada, is going to be taking-in my work pants on Friday, so that's good. They keep sliding off my butt...! I DID get asked-out at work a couple of weeks ago, so maybe it's a good look for me! ;)
I started an Exercise Support Group on the "Surgery in December of 2006" Message Board on here, and that has been helpful. I haven't posted yet for last week... oops! I hope to get back to the gym today, since I didn't leave the house AT ALL yesterday (throwing-up after dinner on top of being sick? Yeah, that completely wiped me out!!!!!). Alright, well, I'll stay on top of posting on here. It's so cool to see how things have changed.
- Krystal
388/288/190
April 10th, 2007
280 lbs.
Helloooooo! I've completely slacked on keeping this up, huh? No excuses, since it has been nearly a month since my last post on here. I was in Solana Beach, CA for the last week-ish, and it was so amazing to not feel fat for once. I went out with some friends to a dance club, and for once the first thought on my mind wasn't "I'm the biggest girl here..."!!!
Other than that, what? I'm still needing to ramp-up the exercising. I have a lot of energy and drive, but for some reason just the thought of going to the gym still makes me want to cry. I've been so emotional lately that I was worried I might be pregnant (which, as we all know, is a no-no this soon after surgery). Well, I'm not - which makes me feel relieved and sad all at once! I just need to stop being afraid of the gym (how stupid!) and get my ever-shrinking ass in there.
Steve got laid-off from Kenworth, and his last day was April 3rd. He has had three interviews so far - and is at his 3rd right now, actually - and I know that makes him feel better. Hopefully the lay-off won't last long; he's number 30 or something on the seniority list, so he'll be in the first group of people called back... we just don't want it to be months and months down the road. He just got back from the interview, and it was another staffing agency with a job in mind for him... let's hope that it goes well!!
Okay, that's it for me. We're going to head to Pike Place Market for a walking-around-filled-afternoon! It's my favorite place on earth (next to Disneyland), and I love going there when it's not so packed with people - according to the "Truffle Queen" (the lady who runs this awesome truffle-shop there), Tuesday mornings are the best time to go.
- Krystal
388/280/190
April 26th, 2007
276 lbs.
Well, today is my 4th month as a post-op! I had my 4-month appointment wtih Dr. Weber on Tuesday, and he was really pleased with how well I'm doing. According to his calculations, I am no longer in the dreaded "morbidly obese" category! That is so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!! He had a med. student in the office with him that day, so he pretty much spent the entire time explaining the various aspects of my VBG to her - the procedure, the results, the risks, etc. I've, officially, dropped 6 pant sizes, 6 shirt sizes, 4 cup sizes, and 7 bra sizes since September of 2005 when I first started this journey!!
The only thing that made me a little "bleh" about the visit is that Dr. Weber has re-assessed my goal weight. Since I'm at 276 four months out, he's projecting that I will probably plateau at about 210 lbs. It's only 20 pounds away from my original goal of 190, but it still made me feel bad... especially since he had said that i was doing extraordinarily well. Gr. Anyway, 210 lbs. is probably perfect for me, anyway... considering as how I'm 6'0'' and naturally big-boned.
Steve and I went to the gym on Monday, and I over-attacked the leg machines. I left there feeling sore (never a good sign, that early!), and have been hobbling around in pain the last couple of days. I've gotten a little bit better with my water intake, as well as my protein. All in all, I'm excited to see where this takes me. I've gotten so many looks from guys...!
- I'll be taking my 4-month photos tomorrow night... here's hoping I can see a difference in myself from last month!
- Krystal
388/276/210
May 8th, 2007
278-ish pounds
I'm not entirely sure what it is, but I think I've gained some weight in the last week and a half. I mean, I know I haven't been exercising nearly as much as I should be... and eating ice cream and Doritos probably isn't the best food choice...! Seriously, I don't know why I'm so drawn to those stupid foods!!!!!!!!!!!! It's infuriating, you know? I know I'm still burning a lot of calories - I walk to work now, instead of drive, and am sure to make healthy food choices most of the time. I just can't seem to either remember or, when I DO remember, to get in all my water.
I also think that, for the week before my period, I totally bloat up. I used to do it, but now it's like it's on overdrive. My pants feel tighter, I'm more irritable, and I can't seem to get enough salty food. Gr.
I would love to get a new scale for our apartment. The one Steve bought me is one of the old dial-scales, and having it in the bathroom definitely hasn't helped with its functionality and accuracy. The readings I get on it are anywhere from 4 to 9 pounds different from the readings I get at my in-laws and Dr. Weber's office. GR!
Well, I'm going to hit the gym. Steve has the car today, so I have to walk to the gym in order to get my exercise in. The irony isn't lost on me, people, believe me! So, I guess that's it. My goal for now? To continue to exercise on a daily basis, and watch not only what kind of food I'm eating, but how much.
- Krystal
388/278/210
May 25th, 2007
262-ish lbs.
I just wanted to post on here really quick... I'm not good for a long one today. There's so much stress with my job situation/Steve being laid off that I think I'm having a panic attack.
The last few weeks have been the hardest, because I keep getting stressed and throwing up everything. I've stayed on top of my water intake, for the most part, and have found a new product that helps me with it. It's mojito mix! A little of that in my water bottle along with a nice supply of aqua, and I'm good to go.
I'm down 80 lbs since surgery, so that's really cool. I'm definitely looking forward to when I can say "I'm down 130 pounds since surgery..."!!!!!
- Krystal
388/262/210
August 17th, 2007
242-ish lbs.
Her-ro!
So... it has definitely been a while since I've posted on here - or, even in the December 2006 Message Board. I feel a little guilty about that, until I think about why I haven't posted.
In June, Steve got called back to his job at Kenworth!!!!! I got a new job that month, and since then have been working full-time for Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University as their Assistant Director of Academic Support (fancy title, not-so-fancy job) as well as keeping my part-time job at City University. I also started classed at ERAU towards my Bachelors, and have set the oh-so-ambitious goal of graduating in about a year. Oh, and we just moved into another apartment with my best friend, Jennifer.
- As you can see, I've been pretty damn busy!
My weight loss is behind schedule, if you couldn't tell from looking at the numbers. I've lost 100 pounds since surgery (146 overall), and that really is amazing...! I just feel guilty, since I haven't been losing the 10 lbs. a month like Dr. Weber said that I should be. If I'm lucky, it's around 5 - 8. I haven't been exercising nearly enough, I know that much - anything that I've lost in the last month and a half has got to be from working so much; I haven't been able to sit around and snack, so my caloric intake has probably been around 450 - 650 a day. According to what I've read (and the information in Dr. Weber's soon-to-be-published book), most patients with my post-opp range are averaging 500 - 800 calories a day. Not bad!
I go to see my Primary Care doc., Dr. Philp, today. I don't really know her - Steve and I switched over to her clinic after the whole "you don't have Diabetes or low thyroid, you're just overweight" fiasco with Dr. Herman. I think I've seen Dr. Philp a total of 3 times in the last year, year and a half. It'll be interesting.
So, that's about it! I'm within about 32 pounds of my goal weight of 210. It's crazy. I just need to get to that point...! Our new apartment has a Fitness Center (read: stupid juvenile delinquents have broken most of the fitness equipment except for the treadmill and stair-stepper so Krystal will be using free-weights at her in-law's), so once I have figured out my more-than-full-time school schedule on top of my work schedule, I have every intention of hitting the gym once again. I don't want to flake-out on this. I WON'T FLAKE-OUT ON THIS!!!!!
- Krystal
388/242/210
September 10th, 2007
237-ish lbs.
Well... talk about slowing down. I just quit my second job a week ago, so I'm finally seeing some light at the end of the work-related tunnel. Since our apartment's gym facility is so freaking ghetto, I'm thinking my workouts will have to consist mainly of long walks after work - with Steve and/or Jenny, or on my own with my iPod - and doing "Power 90" in the mornings, should I be able to wake-up on time.
My arms have been extremely sore lately, and I'm a little worried about that. They've gotten to the point where they'll be cramping and tightening so much that it wakes me up at night and remain sore for the majority of the following day. Could this be a vitamin deficiency thing? On another medical note, I just started my second period this cycle. Yaeh, you read that correctly. It SUCKS! I just had one that lasted for about 5 days about a week and a half ago, so what's with this?! I accidentally missed two nights in a row of taking my pill, so I'm pretty sure that's what started it. Still, does that mean that I'm really freaking fertile (YAY!), or that I'm still all messed-up (BOO!)?
I went out this weekend for a friend's Bachelorette party. Aside from some typical drunken-Bridesmaids drama, it went really well. It's amazing how much better you can move when you're 151 lbs. lighter! I felt so happy and sexy and energetic... it was AMAZING! If I could tell a potential patient only one thing about the experience, it would be how amazing it feels to be me right now. The feeling of being healthy and looking better way outweighs (every pun intended) the hassles and snags with the diet changes.
Oh! I'm only 27 pounds away from my goal-weight. ME!
- Krystal
388/237/210
September 20th, 2007
232-ish lbs.
I go in to see Dr. Weber today, for my 9-month follow-up. I'm a little nervous because, looking back over my weight loss progress from the last 3 months, I don't feel so successful. He'd wanted me to continue to lose 10 lbs. a month until I reached my goal weight of 210 lbs., and I'm pretty freaking sure I haven't done that. According to my records, I should weigh about 222 right now. I can't remember what I weighed when I was at Dr. Weber's office on June 21st, and it's making me nervous!! I don't like it when he chastises me, even though I know it's only 10 minutes of my life and that he's doing it for my own good.
I guess I just feel like I should be proud of the weight that I've lost so far, you know? I don't like that I'm feeling guilty for not hitting each and every little marker and milestone. I'VE LOST AN ENTIRE PERSON!!! Seriously! My friend, Alex, weighs around 120 - 135 lbs. I've lost 156 since my highest weight (110 since surgery)... so yeah, I've lost an Alex. That should be the focus, not whether I've managed to continually lose 10 lbs each month.
Well, I think that's it from me for now. I'm at work, and should probably get back to it.
Later!
Krystal
388/232/210
October 29th, 2007
224-ish lbs.
Another month, another bit of weight loss! I've lost about 7 lbs in the last month, so that's not too bad considering the crap I've been eating! I have my weight-loss and measurement tracker here with me (I normally leave it at my in-laws' for when I take my monthly measurements)... I'll be typing it up and posting the results near the top of this "My Story" section. My coworker and I have started a weight-loss competition of sorts; She has to lose 20 lbs, I have to lose 40. It's a little steep, I know... but she's a lot smaller than I am! I don't think I'll stick to the 40 lb. goal, though; I'm not wanting to go beneath 190 until after I've had the various reconstructive/plastic surgeries and they've taken pounds of my fatty, useless skin off. Sounds gross, but whatever - it's true!
Steve got laid-off... again... on October 19th. We're thinking that it's just a ploy to get the various Unions to sign the new contracts (current ones expire on 10/31) and, once they do, Paccar will all-of-a-sudden have tons of orders and need to re-hire some of the recently laid-off staff! Rat bastards. He's been out of work for an entire week now, and we're definitely going to feel it. It's roughly $2,000 less a month than we're used to, and that definitely takes a toll not just on all of our financial responsibilities but also on our emotions. Guess who's back? Emotional-Eating Krystal, that's who. I've taken to eating desserts every night (chocolate cream pie with peatnut butter... cheesecake... ice cream... chocolate...) and not just a little bit, either. Because ice cream melts down so easily, I can snack on more and more and more of the stuff, and never feel full - tons of empty calories, just sitting in my gut.
That being said, Stephen and I are getting back on track. He's put on a couple extra pounds (he's about 265 right now, and wants to be around 225, I think) and, while I'm amazed that I'm still able to lose weight while eating all this crap, I don't want to be terrified of the weight coming back on. Ever-EVER. Steve got me a balance ball and two corresponding DVDs for my birthday, so I'm going to incorporate that into our *newly formed* work-out plan; each evening, after work and before dinner, we're going to go on a walk around Renton. If, for whatever reason, we can't make it out (rain, sickness, whatever), then I'll do my balance ball stuff or Power 90 (an awesome workout video we have). I test-pedaled a bike a couple of weekends ago, and I'd REALLY like to incorporate that into my routine. I'm hoping that Santa (aka, my in-laws) will get it for me for Christmas!
So, there you go. I'm all updated and not feeling so guilty... we'll see how long that lasts!
- Krystal
388/224/190
April 6th, 2008
218 lbs.
Wow, have I been absent from here! So much has changed in the last 6 months, it's astounding. I quit my job at ERAU and started working for the Port of Seattle. After a miscarriage, I decided I needed to take some time for myself, and quit that job as well. I have a new job that I'll be starting on the 14th of this month... and four days later will be Stephen and mine fourth wedding anniversary.
As you can see, my weight hasn't changed all that much. It actually got down to 214 right before I found out I was pregnant, but that didn't last very long. I was a little worried for a while - that I'd be 'stuck' at 218 or so - but you know what? Better to be stuck at 218 and be healthy, feeling great, and off all medication than to be stuck at 388 and miserable!!
Steve and I are trying to get pregnant again... which is very, very different from what post-op patients are supposed to do. Ideally, we're told to wait a full 2 years after surgery before trying to conceive, but my weight started plateauing (even with diet and exercise) over 6 months ago. I've had to FIGHT for every single pound lost, or get so sick that I can't keep food down. I got pregnant in January, 13 months after my surgery, and lost the baby at only 5 weeks along. All the doctors I've talked to have said that my miscarriage was not at all resulting from my surgery, so that's a small comfort. Anyway, we named the baby Ami ("Ah-mee"), which is Hebrew for "warrior"... and because we felt it was a boy, and we'll be planting a tree at Steve's parents' house in late October, when he would have been born.
On a happier note, I could very well be pregnant as I type this...! I can't even begin to describe how badly I hope this is the case. It's where our lives are at right now, and we're ready. We're so, so ready.
So, there you go! We're just taking each day as it comes, enjoying the life God has blessed us with - trials and all - and hoping that we don't screw it up. =)
- Krystal
388/218/200
July 22nd, 2008
220 lbs... and PREGNANT!!!!!
Well, it looks like I was right in my last post! When I was typing it, I was actually 10 days pregnant!
God is truly amazing.
So, that being said, I am now 18 weeks and 2 days along and feeling great. It's strange to have to encourage myself to eat and gain weight, especially after how hard I worked to get the weight off, but I know it's for the baby... and very, very likely to come off afterwards since I will be breastfeeding AND exercising (hello, yoga... how I love you).
Aside from that, what to tell? I worked at a smoking cessation company in Seattle, encouraging callers to quit smoking on a daily basis. That lasted for about 4 months; I actually found out I was pregnant on the same day that I started training there, so I think a combination of my hormones, their outrageously out-of-reach call standards (think "Secret Shopper" and you wouldn't be far off), and the extra 2 hours added to my day just to commute by bus, and I left there a couple of weeks ago. I'm now back at the job I've held off-and-on for the last 2 years, part-time, and loving it. I'm able to rest!
Stephen and I are moving on August 12th! We spent the last year sharing an appartment with my friend, Jenny; she just got her own place up in Everett, so now we're just waiting for our new apartment to come available before we can move on out. We were sharing a 3 bedroom place, with our portion of the rent being $852/month... and now we have a 2 bedroom (with FREE parking and NO pet rent) for $776/month instead! We're pretty excited to get moved-in and get the nursery up and running.
There you have it! I'm 5 months pregnant, we find out the sex of the baby on Wednesday, August 6th, and we could not be happier.
- Krystal
388/220/200
November 11th, 2008
230 lbs.
Well, I'm 8.5 months pregnant with our son! We found out he's a boy (believe me, there's no doubt), and have named him Bruce. My gaining weight was a bit of an issue at first; it wasn't that I didn't WANT to, but I wasn't ABLE to! I kept eating and eating, but the food just wouldn't stay down. I'm not sure if it was just morning sickness, because I still have trouble keeping my food down for an entire day, and I'm 34 weeks!
Overall, I've gained about 18 lbs. At my last appointment, Bruce was actually measuring about 4 weeks bigger than his gestational age... which was a little unnerving. Both my husband and I were big babies, so it definitely was't completely unexpected.
I guess that's about it! I'm looking forward to meeting our son, and am actually excited about getting into shape after he's born. Two years ago, before my surgery, I would never have imagined looking forward to exercise of any kind... so it truly is amazing what God has done.
- Krystal
388/230/200
December 28th, 2009
218 lbs.
Another year, another round of changes...!
Today is my son's 1st birthday! It was for him that I had this surgery in the first place, and I couldn't be happier. Bruce is an intelligent, highly inquisitive, vibrant little man and I love watching him grow.
My three-year surgery anniversary was on the 26th of this month. Three years! It's insane to think that, three years ago, I was nearly 200 lbs heavier than I am now, and suffering from diabetes, high blood pressure, polycystic ovarian syndrome, high cholesterol, and Graves Disease. As it stands now, all but the thyroid issues are under control; I've added YEARS to my life, and gained a son!
Because of the surgery, and the changes thereafter, I've found the confidence to persue some different things that I wouldn't have persued otherwise: a new job, roller derby, voice acting, getting my BSBA, outdoor activities...
- Krystal
388/218/200
