Update

Dec 27, 2008

I don't post here very often, I know - in fact, I think I last posted a blog entry in August! I have another journal where I post regularly, and this one gets lost in the shuffle.

I saw one of the doctors at my surgeon's practice on December 11th, and I weighed in that day at 249 ... That is 144 pounds from my highest known weight! I am still amazed that my weight was ever that high, and I am starting to get  paranoid about regain and such. I know I have to "use the tool" for the rest of my life to minimize the chance of that happening, but I still worry about it.

I haven't been exercising and I am not going to bother making excuses for it. The truth is that the last six weeks or so have been extremely difficult for me - trying to get through the holidays without my mom - and I have an "I just do not care" attitude lately. No, that is not okay. I am not going to try to justify it by any means, but that is how I feel.

I've also been discouraged, because I want to start running (I'd like to do the Couch to 5K training program), but I don't have anyone to run with. I got excited when I found out that a good friend of mine also wanted to start running, and I told her about the program. But then I found out that she and one of her coworkers started it the day after I told her about it ... At 5:30 in the morning. They run before work. Of course, I got invited to join them, but I get home at 11:45pm and I do not hit the sheets the moment I walk in the door. Even if I did, to only get five hours of sleep every night wouldn't be good for me. They told me to get up, run with them, and then come home and go back to bed. I don't know about you guys, but my body doesn't work that way. When I work out, it energizes me and gets me going - that's why I had to stop working out at night when I was still working daytime hours at my old job ... I'd end up being awake until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning, and I'd have to get up by 6:30 to get ready for work.

There isn't much else going on in my life ... I went out to dinner with one of my best friends and her boyfriend last night, and I let her leave my number for our (very hot) server on my credit card slip after I signed for it. Six months ago there is no way I would have let her do that! Heck, even a month ago when she wanted to do it, I wouldn't let her! I protested last night, but only mildly and not very loudly ... After all, it'd be fun to go on a date and he *IS* really cute! I don't expect that he'll call, but my sister tells me, "THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS!" I'm just trying to think realistic thoughts! Like, he is so gorgeous that I am 99.2% sure he already has a girlfriend. My friend tells me as long as he's not married he is fair game, but I don't work that way! The ones with girlfriends are just as off-limits as the married ones!

Well, I'm off to Target. I'll start working on trying to keep this blog more frequently updated!

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