Lefspence
My story is fairly simple - I have been overweight since I was a toddler. During grade school and high school my weight never slowed me down. I was active in volleyball, basketball as well as any other sport that I could get into. But, I never went below 200lbs. I could go to weight watchers or overeaters anonymous and exercise each and every day - but I either didn't lose the weight as fast as I wanted to lose it or I didn't stick with it. College was a different matter - I discovered the liquid diet. This worked for me once or twice, but of course, I put the weight back on plus an additional 60lbs. Then college was over and I started to work. After being out with some friends and flirting with a very cute guy, his brother came up to me and said that basically his brother would screw anyone even if they were as fat as me. Oh boy - that one hurt. So I went back on the liquid diet and lost 100 lbs - kept it off for 4 years too - but, I got lazy and 20 lbs crept back in. Then I had a lifestyle change - new job, new city, new boyfriend - it all went down hill from there. I failed to keep up my exercise schedule, I ate out all the time with my new boyfriend (now husband), and each year I gained weight. Of course, nothing worked for me (well that is what I tell people, but the real deal is that I was just tired of it all) and Meridia pretty much almost gave me a stroke because it shot my blood pressure up so high that it was ridiculous. So, I gave up. Said I didn't care - what will be will be and pretty much gave myself the "authority" to eat and do whatever I wanted. Well, sounds good, but that got old after awhile too. The truth is that I do care, but I was really tired of failing - because that is what I think of whenever I think of every diet that I have been on - I failed. I really hate failure - but when you convince yourself that you don't care then you really aren't failing because you aren't trying. Anyway...after about 15 months of thought on this, I decided to talk to my husband and then my doctor. Surprisingly, my doctor was wonderful and gave me the referral without lectures. I will always appreciate that from her. So, I started the journey - first the research into which program I wanted to pursue, then the appointments. So far, I haven't told my mother in law and there are only 2 people at work who have I talked to about this. Of those two people, one had RNY and the other's mother had RNY so they have a clue about what this is all about.
I have asked my self what is it that I want out of this? I want to:
Live - Be Alive - Be able to take a Risk - Be healthy
Wear my wedding ring again - too stubborn to resize it
Fit in a plane seat without the people around me being uncomfortable
Wear sylish clothes - I LOVE clothes (I know - there are better things to love)
Not feel like people are staring at me because of how fat I look
Like people staring at me because of how confident I look
Not FAIL
Anyway...the journey/roller coaster/white knuckles time is upon me and I am ready for it - I do care, I will not fail, and I hope to meet some great friends along the way.
