LEIHAILA
So....I am what I thought was a very confident big girl. One who has all the personality of 10 people. Everywhere I go, I can make someone laugh, always the life of a party. Well as I took a look within myself i realized that I was making others laugh so the focus would be off my weight but directed towards all the jokes I told. So today I am here to admit that I was not always this happy go lucky person, but very sad on the inside. Hurt by all the boyfriends I have ever had I was really suffering on the inside. Hurt that the one person I spent several years with chose to marry someone else and not me and I blamed my weight. Saying to myself..."he would have married you if you were smaller" "if only you lost some weight you would have been the chosen one" But since counseling it was never the weight, it was him. I am scheduled to have surgery january 28,2011and I am SUPERRRR EXCITED. I am so ready for this lifestyle change, I have lost 10 pounds since this whole process began and now I am just ready to see the overall changes that are going to be made once i have the surgery. I can't wait to be more active with my 4 year old and i am so ready to go on a shopping spree. Just bought a pair of leather knee boots because I know that after this surgery and the great job and doing at already losing the weight, i will be able to finally get those boots up over my calf lol.
