liara
I am 23 and was overweight most of my life, including as a young child. After hearing about bariatric surgery, I thought it was the only way I would ever be able to lose weight. Even at 305 lbs, I wasn't ashamed of my appearance. I went out dancing on the weekends, went swimming in a real bathing suit, and dated attractive people. I was also in excellent health for somebody at my weight. Bariatric surgery was something I considered to prevent future problems and to be more active than I already was.
I had surgery in October 2003. Before hand, I of course was told there was a small percentage of patients that die and that some patients have complications with malnutrition, but I was told that most people who have problems are non-compliant patients. After surgery, I followed every instruction they gave me, and yet I vomited 95% of everything that went into my stomach. I also suffered severe pain when I ate or drank and a constant dull pain in my upper gastric region. Over the period of more than a year, I have had 3 scopes, 4 upper GI's, cat scans, multiple hospital admissions (the longest being 10 days), 2 PIC-lines, and a g-tube. I'm so underweight my bones stick out and people tell me I look like I have just been released from a concentration camp. I'm so weak, I can barely walk around my house, let alone exercise 30 minutes every day like my surgeon recommends. Because of the constant malnutrition and dehydration over the past year, I've lost most of my muscle mass, I'm always dizzy, I have no feeling in the skin of my legs, my kidney constantly hurts and I routinely find blood in my urine, I have no menstrual cycle and at 23 I wonder if I will ever be able to have kids, I have frequent migraines, extremely low blood pressure at times, low blood sugar to the point of passing out, and the list goes on. I'm not ashamed to say that I've been extremely depressed and suicidal through most of this time, and I think any normal person would having to deal with this. I've lost two jobs, a relationship, friendships, family members, camping trips, parties, traveling......
My surgeon (who is purposefully left unnamed) treated me well until I continued to had problems. He himself has told me that I need to "try harder to eat and drink" and that "I'm just all worked up about this." He called me a quitter to my face, he bet me $100 there was nothing wrong with me, he's promised me several times he would do a reversal or revision, but weasels his way out of it every time, and every time I see him he is short with me and tries to find some way to blame me for my problems. He's made it pretty clear that he thinks this is all in my head. His nurses have told me that I was calling the office to get attention because I was lonely. Once when I called because of a bad reaction to a medication, she told me it was psychosomatic and put me on the phone with their behaviorist. To make a long story short, it's pretty clear that surgeons are wonderful people to those coming in for the initial surgery, but if you have complications, that's when they stop caring.
By putting this online, I'm not trying to scare everyone out of having gastric bypass surgery. I think those looking into it need to be aware that there are people like me out there who have literally had their life ruined by this surgery, all to be skinny. I would gain every pound I lost back in a second to be healthy and not be in pain. I've been living every day for over a year with the knowledge that I can't physically eat or drink enough to keep myself alive and nobody seems to have a solution to fix it.
Update: 1/25/05
I had my 3rd PICC line placed today because my gastric tube was accidentally yanked out (talk about a world of pain). Of course my surgeon's nurses implied first that I did it on purpose and then told me if I had gone to the ER sooner, it could have been non-surgically replaced, which wasn't what I was told over the phone by a PA. I was told I would have to have another surgery to replace the tube, which isn't something I'm willing to go through. I cried the whole time I was getting the PICC placed, not necessarily because it hurt, although it did because they couldn't get the right vein, but because I simply didn't want it. After the second try, I actually tried to get up, but the doctor held me down and finished. I'm back on TPN, 24 hours a day, which kind of sucks, but it does give me some strength so I'll take it for now. I have an appointment with my surgeon next week supposedly to discuss reversal, and if it doesn't happen, I'm done with him as a doctor. I've been in contact with some wonderful people, including Dani Hart, who have given me hope that there is a doctor out there who will help me and that this will be over soon.
2/5/05
I am currently in the hospital awaiting a reversal in two days, done by my original surgeon. I am very nervous as this is his first reversal and I am his 5th case of the day, but I see no other options. I had to have my 3rd PICC line replaced with a 4th one that is causing as many problems as the one it replaced, so I look forward to having it out to get rid of the numbness and pain in both arms.
3/20/2006
I feel bad that I haven't posted here in a long time. It's because I'm doing so well and I'm back to living my life. Things with the reversal turned out even better than I expected. I woke up from surgery feeling better than before I had went in. It wasn't a picnic though. I ended up needing a blood transfusion and being in the hospital for almost a month. To those who want a reversal just because they are a little unhappy with the surgery, don't bother. It's a hard thing to go through and it's not worth it unless you are seriously ill from the original surgery. Anyway, my surgeon told me that if I had a reversal, I would gain all the weight back, but I haven't. I weigh 175, and take a size 12/14 dress size. That's not nearly as skinny as I was, but I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with all my bones sticking out looking like I was dying. I exercise everyday, and one of the side affects of the reversal is that my stomach never feels empty, so I have to remind myself to eat. I don't know if everybody who has had a reversal reacted the same way, but that's what happened to me. I'm very happy with the way I look, the way I feel, and I'm very happy to have my life back.
