lilredcmc
I have been obese all my life and have just lived with it. Have tried all the diets and pills they have come out with, but only ended up gaining more weight. To me it was always so belittling to goto the doctor and go through the same speal over and over. I have a 4 yr. old and it is getting harder to keep up with him. I have been researching this for some time and I am ready to change my life for good. I have always thought that the person inside of me was thin. I would even dream that I was thin. Now that this procedure has become almost an everyday thing I can't wait to get it done.
June 15, 2004
I was just sitting here thinking...scary as that may seem...and I just realized that tomorrow I have my upper scope and then on the 21st I will attend my second support group meeting. After that, everything will be sent into the insurance and I will have to wait and see what they decide. I have never really asked for anything in my life, but I have been really praying that God will help open the doors for me so that I can get this done. For those of you who stop and read my profile, please keep me in your prayers.
July 14, 2004
I can't believe it has been a month. I have since sent in all my info and put it out of my mind. I didn't want to think about it and possibly jinx myself. Last night at my prayer meeting one of the ladies asked me if I had heard anything and I told her I hadn't been thinking about it. This morning I get a call from the hospital and the young lady told me that she just got off the phone with my insurance and wanted to tell me the good news that I have been approved and I should be getting my letter in a few days. The actual time for them to decide didn't take long. I faxed the Dr. the rest of the info that he needed on June 26th and on July 14th I got an answer. 2 weeks, it is just hard to believe. I think I am still in shock. Right now all I want to do is cry. I was so worried and afraid that I might have gone through all this hard work and been to hell and back for nothing. But THANK YOU GOD for answering my prayers and giving me another chance at life. I thought that my insurance would just be nit-picky and deny me for the least little thing but they didn't and I feel that if I can jump through all the hoops and bend over backwards and get approved then I can do just about anything I put my mind to and I can't wait to get started!! I am still praying for all of those who are waiting and even those who are having it. May God be there for you and hear your prayers.
August 16, 2004
I wanted to update this the other day but I have been a little bummed out lately. I had an appointment with the surgeon on the 9th and I found out that instead of losing the weight from changing my diet...I gained!! Talk about a let down. I wanted to get ready for my diet change so I thought I would start before the surgery. I cut out all pop, sugar and pretty much anything else that I wouldn't be aloud to have. Started watching what I eat and somehow it had the opposite effect. So I am supposed to only have 3 protein shakes a day and that is tough. I wasn't expecting to give up eating so fast. Sometimes I will have a piece of grilled chicken, plain, in place of the afternoon shake or with my shake, but I really have no clue about how I can quickly lose the extra weight before my surgery. I have made a chart and been keeping track of the amount of protein, calories and carbohydrates that I take in for the day. So I just keep praying that I can get this done. I have been through so much to come so far not to get this done.
September 1, 2004
Well, just six days. I am not really nervous or worried about the surgery. My problem is that I had a sonohysterography done and it has caused me to start my period and it won't stop. I am waiting for the doctors to call me back to make sure that the medicine I am going to take to stop the period is going to affect anything else the day of my surgery. My biggest fear is that I have come so far and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and at any minute there is going to be a rock slide and I am going to be stuck. So I keep praying and asking God for his help. Hopefully this will work out and I will be able to get this done on time!! A good note to the never ending bad is that the other day I finally broke down and got a scale. I have been on this diet since my last visit and I am happy to report that I have lost 16 pounds!!!! It may not seem like alot but just the fact that I am able to keep it off this long is a miracle. The biggest thing that has helped is that I have a treadmill and I am walking alot more now than ever. So bring on the hallways I AM READY!!!
September 4, 2004
FINALLY, I can see and end in sight. I called my ob-gyn and she called in a prescription for provera, then called the surgeon and he said it would be okay to take it up to the day of my surgery. YES YES YES. Now maybe my hormones will settle and I will stop having a period for a change. I have quite a bit of stuff to do this weekend to get ready. I want to make sure that someone will be here to take care of the fish and other pets. My friend is going to keep my son. My church is having our church pinic this Sunday so I know there will be a prayer time there. Also, when hubby and I were having really bad problems, the one lady in our prayer group helped hubby confront and overcome his problem and her and her husband are coming over monday night to pray for me. So, all in all, God will have a lot of prayers to listen to about me and my surgery!! Plus the other little things of cleaning house, laundry and dishes, so I will lots to do and little time to think of anything else.
September 13, 2004
Well, its official. Tomorrow will be my 1st. week since joining the losing side. My surgery was on tuesday the 7th. I was the second one of the day. I had to be at the hospital by 7am. No problem there. Hubby was able to come in off the road to be with me so that was a great help. Get up to my room (private!!) and start getting situated. The nurse comes in to start the IV and my veins decide to take a trip. Where I don't know, but I have never had this problem before. I was poked 7 times by the nurses and head nurse and the veins either moved or blew. So they finally got a little one in to give me the meds and sent me down early for the anestesiologist to do it. He poked me once and failed and finally on the 2nd poke he got it. THANK GOD!! When I left the hospital, it looked like they beat me up to do the surgery. So everything goes fine and they send me back to my room to sleep off the drugs. I am not sure what time the nurse came in to have my dangle my feet, but not only did I dangle but I stood and took a few steps!! My motivation was to do better than my sister! So between the nurse and hubby, I was able to get comfortable (haha) and go back to sleep. 5am and the nurses are in a panic because my blood pressure is too low. So not being fully awake, it feels like I am yanked out of bed and running the halls. Not that it really happened that way. So they took the continuous morophine drip away which was fine, it really wasn't doing anything but making me sleepy(with pain). So the doctor says pump it when I need it and I tried it once and it burned going in the IV and that was the end of that! So all and all it wasn't bad, other than being woke up every 2 hours for vitals. I did a little more than was required and was able to leave friday night. I took it easy Saturday and Sunday I went to church because I wanted to show God how thankful I was that He was able to bring this all together. I thank God everyday. My sister told me that she was doing her binder herself after her 1st week, so I did mine last night by myself. So I have come to the conclusion that since I introduced her to this and already had the research done(she has yet to say thanks)I am going to do better than her and show her!! So I have to give blood tomorrow and the 20th is my 2 week checkup. So until then.....God Bless :0)
September 20, 2004
Well I had my 2 week check-up today and everything was great. Some of my levels were down, but Dr. Woodruff said that was because I had the blood work done right after I got home and I really didn't have anytime to build up my levels. So I have been walking alot, eating what I am supposed to and drinking plenty of water. Everyone at the center is really proud which makes me feel great. I have lost 35lbs. since the surgery and I am feeling great. I have noticed that if I do too much in the morning, I need to take a nap in the afternoon, but that is not too bad. I just need to keep myself focused and on track and everything will be fine.
December 13, 2004
It's hard to believe that 3 months have pasted already. At my last visit Dr. Woodruff asked me what I thought would be a good amount of weight to lose in 3 months. I said between 30 - 40 pounds. I was doing so well that I didn't think it would be much of a stretch or to hard to reach goal. So when I weighed in I had lost 41 lbs so I was at a total of 76 lbs. in 3 months. I was so excited. Still my protein and iron was a little low and I still need to work on getting those levels up. So the Dr. and I agreed that by my 6 month check up, losing another 25 lbs should be a breeze. Already I am noticing a difference in my appearance and the way my clothes are really just hanging on me and the engery that I have to keep up with the boys. Shortly after I had the surgery, we had a 4 year old foster son placed in our home. So it worked out that my son had someone to be friends with while I worked on my weight loss. Being a new foster parent, I realize that a lot of these kids have a lot of problems and even though I was working on doing what I needed to do, I also had the energy to be able to care for this special boy that need a little attention, patientence and structure in his life. It also helped me get on a schedule and stick to it. So God has blessed me in more ways then I can count.
March 7, 2005
6 months and down 100 pounds. I could not be happier. Sometimes its hard for me to see that I have lost another person. I have so much energy that this year I hve been able to do the things I wanted I not hurt or get winded and I am actually able to start and finish something. Last year I did nothing but watch the weeds grow. This year I not only weeded but expanded my flower beds and I can not wait til the garage gets done so I can plan and do that flower bed. I still have to do double takes in the mirror, especially whenever someone makes a comment. I just have a hard time seeing it. I have yet to buy new clothes, but I believe I have no choice now. It was so warm last week that when I tried on my tank tops, the arm pits were to my hips. So needless to say, I have some shopping planned in my near future. My husband made the comment the other day that he was really able to notice that I am shrinking. That really made my day. He thinks that I am going to leave him once I get smaller, but I stuck it out through all the affairs and heartaches, that I don't want to start over again. So I am really trying to get my protein and iron up, but sometimes it is hard because I get so busy that I forget to take my pills, or eat or whatever is important that happens to slip my mind. But I am working on it and am getting better so hopefully the results from the blood work to check my iron will be good. Like everyday that I wake up I Thank You God for giving me this second chance and the blessings that you have shown me. Help me to continue to do the right thing and stay on the right path. Keep me strong and let me know that I am worth the pain, suffering, and hard work to make this dream a reality. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
So I was making a mental list and thought it would be good to put it to writing.
Things I wanted to do but couldn't(more will be added as I am able to do these thing)
1. Cross my legs
2. Keep up with my boys
3. Work in my flower garden
4. Have others notice the weight loss
5. Wrap a bath towel around me
6. Be more intimate with hubby
7. Walk more than 10 steps
8. Shop until I want to stop
9. Be an inspiration to a stranger
10. Look in the mirror and not be disgusted
11. Curl up on the couch with hubby and be comfortable
12. Share my chair with both of the boys
13. Sit cross legged on the floor and my legs not fall asleep
14. Use the restroom like a 'normal' person
15. Drive the car without the steering wheel rubbing my stomach
16. Wear a seat belt with out losing a boob or squishing my stomach.
17. Sit in any chair and not be squished
18. Be comfortable in a movie theater
19. Bend over to tie my shoes
20. Lie on my back on the floor and put my son in the air on my feet.
21. Wear hubby's clothes
22. Not planned, but got pregnant
September 12, 2005
Well it has been 1 year and 5 days since my re-birthday and I have lost 145 lbs and look and feel like a completely different person. Even the nurses at the CCWL had a hard time regonizing me. What a tremendous feeling that is!!! I had a great check-up. All my levels were normal. I finally got my protein and iron up so now I am only taking a liquid multivitamin and a liquid calcium + D that actually tastes good. I am working on sending in my before and after shots so others can see the difference. I really had a hard time seeing it until I got a new BJ's card and really compared the two. It looks like two different people. I am just so overwhelmed and so elated I don't know what to do with my self. I finally broke down and bought some new clothes. I went from a 30-32 down to an 18-20. I have never been able to wear an 18-20. I have a pair of jeans in my closet that I have had for 10+ years, when i bought them they were skin tight, but I really liked them. Now they fall off!! WOW. What a feeling. Hubby says I am not aloud to wear them in public. I almost hate to get rid of them because they are the pants that I wanted to be able to wear again and now they are too big!!
August 1, 2006
Time sure does fly when you are a lot thinnner and able to have more fun. I can't beleive that I am approaching my 2 year mark since my surgery. I am been really busy now that I take a minute to catch my breath. I guess the biggest news is that I am pregnant. We never planned on it, but it happened. I thought that because I was having a problem with certain foods and I was emotionally out of whack, that something was wrong because of the surgery. No one stopped to think that I might actually be pregnant, except for my husband. One day over lunch I was telling him all the problems and he said, "You're pregnant". So on the way home I stopped and got a pregnancy test and sure enough, the word PREGNANT was as clear as day. I had no idea how far along and I still couldn't believe it. My husbands medical and my own always caused us to think it wouldn't be possible. Thats why we adopted. Being in the state of shock that I was in, I took 5 more tests until I could get into the doctors. Even when I saw the ultrasound, I still couldn't believe it, but here I am, 23 weeks along and still in shock a little. I am mostly scared that because of my surgery, something will go wrong. Right now we are trying - to no avail - to find out what it is. I told them that getting pregnant was a shock enough and I don't think I would be able to handle waiting until the birth. But, so far so good which is a relief to me. I have another ultrasound on the 10th and hopefully we will find out. I will keep everyone posted.