linabear2010
Hmmm....my story...I could quite possibly write a book about my life, the ugly/bad experiences I've had growing up (maybe one day I'll have Tyler Perry make a movie, wouldn't that be something!); funny how when I look back, I could almost see how one experience led to another, which led to food/gaining weight, which led to more bad experiences, which led to low self esteem, which led to more eating....in a sense creating that snowball effect that has helped shape me into the person I am now. I am morbidly obese according to my doctor and the Dept. of Health, my highest weight has been about 280, and for the most part have always been overweight. Ever since I can remember my nickname or "label" has been gorda, gordis....I'm surprised my own family knows my real name, lol. Food has been part of my life, in the good times and bad. My unfailing, always faithful friend. It has consoled me, comforted me, kept me from feeling the pain, the hurt.
In my 37 yrs, I have come to accept and have come to terms with everything, EXCEPT for the fact that I am fat. In my innumerable attempts at trying to lose weight, failing and becoming discouraged....many have asked me to just accept my weight as part of who I am, as something that cannot/will not change. To them I say BULLSHIT! I know that my being overweight has many contributing factors, but the biggest of them all is ME not putting ME FIRST. I have been my own enemy/worst nightmare, by not believing in myself, not loving myself enough to end the vicious cycle of eating myself to death. I have always been a people pleaser, I have settled on so many things, watching my life unfold based on the decisions of others and my own inaction. But ENUFF IS ENUFF! It has taken me this long to figure out, that only I have the power to determine the outcome of my life. I may not have been able to control what happened to me growing up, but I am wiser now and I AM THE MASTER OF MY OWN FATE! I don't know about you, but frankly, I'm tired of being tired....of going through the motions, sitting on the sidelines. I want to stand up, get into this game of really living LIFE, ending once and for all the suffocation of the weight of my past, and taking a breath of fresh air. My moment is NOW! Sure, I can decide to do WLS for my kids, for my parents, for my friends, for my coworkers....even to show my f'n ex (lol) that he's wrong....and that I am beautiful and worth loving. But you know something, I've decided that I'm gonna do this for me. And although it is a work in progress, of being able to look in the mirror and say without a doubt - I LOVE ME...it is getting easier and easier each day. And so I begin. I hope that through my journey I'm able to inspire, as many of you have already inspired me to continue w/ my decision of having WLS. Although I do not know you, I love you. God Bless, Good Luck and Best Wishes for continued success! WOOOOOHOOOO! MY TIME HAS COME!
