feeling down

Jun 24, 2010

Hi all,

I know most people's first posts are all upbeat and excited because of this journey they are embarking on, but I have to admit with everything that is going on I feel a bit worn out. We just put the house up for sale, I wish I could keep it but I cannot afford it on my own. I live in Winnipeg and don't have a great job, I don't have a lot of self confidence and feel like this is the best I can do. I have been told otherwise but it's hard to convince yourself otherwise sometimes you know?

My parents live in Calgary and are trying to do everything possible to get me out there, even said they would cover a portion of the WLS if I came out there for 6 months to recover from my separation. Things with my soon to be ex are good, better than most people who are going through this. Neither of us really want to separate and we love each other a lot but I  know he has a lot of issues he needs to deal with and I deserve better than being cheated on numerous times. I have a fairly good support system, but he doesn't. He is a quiet guy who never really had many/any friends, he doesn't have any kind of support. His parents are trying to be neutral and his brother even though tells him he is still a good person won't return his calls and has kicked my ex out of his wedding party. I am basically my ex's support system, which probably sounds odd but nothing regarding this situation is 'normal'.
 
Of course during this stressful time I turn to food, something that is always there for me when I am down, I have realized that I eat my emotions. When I don't want to deal with something or don't agree with something I will binge on anything thinking that it will make me feel better but it really doesn't. My stomach and head don't see eye to eye lol. Sorry this seems so depressing, I am usually more of an upbeat person but this is really kicking my A**.  Once the house sells and I decide what I want/need to do I can start focusing on myself. I really look forward to getting back to the gym and taking my frustration out on the eliptical.  Like i said in my story, change is happening whether I like it or not, I can either embrace it or fight it all the way, but it will happen regardless. I need to learn how to loosen up and go with the flow. Anyway thanks for listening take care  -Linds

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