Livingtolose
Hi there! My name is Amy and I am 39 years old with two beautiful children (girl age 7 and boy age 3) and a supportive husband. My weight has been an issue since middle school. I remember being weighed in Phys Ed twice a year in front of the other kids and always being the heaviest and terribly humiliated by the experience. I would have terrible anxiety around the beginning and end of year Phys Ed classes!
My weight was a blur throughout High School. No regular weigh ins was freedom! Freedom to climb higher. (My family is large too) After 5 years of college, I remember weighing in at my highest weight ever! I lost over 80 pounds just by "getting happy" and finding a social life. I ate smart, exercised and partied a lot. Living on practically minimum wage and having a roommate, I have very fond memories of those years. I was happy and carefree! Men showed interest in me and I loved the attention.
When I met my future husband, I thought I had life by the tail. He moved in, we started eating out more and I began fixing lots of comfort food at home. The weight started piling back on. We were happy, in love and food added to the great times together. When I got married I had only gained back 15#'s of the 80 I had lost. By the time I got pregnant (1999), I was up 58#'s from my lowest adult weight! DEPRESSING!!! Two more babies later and I had regained all of the 80#'s plus more.
While the marriage is strong, I hate what I've become. Like so many moms on OH, I want to be a healthy role model for my kids and active in their lives. I don't want them to be teased about their fat mom. I want to be the funny, zany mom that lives inside. I shy away from social events, am loath to meet up with people from my past and get stressed out when I go to new places (airplanes! restaurant booths, hairdressers, etc.) for fear that I will be uncomfortable in the small seats. How awful! I've done this to myself and have sat by and allowed it to happen.
I have been actively and avidly research WLS (the band) since August. I originally attended a seminar in Boston and utlimately ended up in Virginia for a number of reasons. I am scheduled to have surgery December 12th.
This is just the prelogue to my real story: my life will be enhanced by conquering my issues around weight. My normally strong self-confidence will re-emerge and my children will have a happier (and healthier) mom to play with. I want them to be very proud of me. Taking this step requires courage and determination. My Journey really begins now.
