Lynn I.

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Well,  I went to the Dr. again.  Not much has changed since my last post except they are sending me to a G.I. Dr. as soon as they can get me in.  At least I don't have to go back to my Surgeon again for another 2 weeks instead of 2 times a week!  On a few more meds.  taking more of some that I was already on to.  
Good news,  I'm down to 152 lbs.  Once I feel better an hopefully by that time summer will actually be here I will try to start excersizing or at least walk once in a while.  I wish I had taken my measurements before I started.  All I can really say is clothing sizes.  
Started as a size 18 pant now in a size 9
Started in a 2x shirt in a medium now well that depends on how small the medium is.  Sometimes large.  Even my foot got smaller went from a size 8 to a size 7/2 lol.  
That's all the news for now.  I don't always want to seem negative because really,  I'm not.  Hopefully the next time I get on here I will be saying I feel like a new person! 

Well, 
I'm still having the same ol problems.  I had an endoscopy 2 wks. ago and the Dr.  said everything looked ok (my pouch)  but they are concerned because I still am having a hard time eating mostly everything.  I think I am a permanent fixture in his office now.  I'm on a few different meds. now and they are helping a little.  I guess I just want to feel good.  I want to be able to do the things I know I can now.  When you don't feel well,  everything gets put on the back burner.  Like working out and walking.  I just don't feel well enough to do those things. 
I had a wonderful time last week.  The day after I got out of the hospital I took a trip to Atlantic City and met one of my Best Friends I've ever had.  I met her on OH.  She brought her Husband and Daughter and it was great.  It was so nice to go to a restaraunt with someone who feels the same way you do.  So That brought my spirits up.  Thanks Robyn,  I needed that!
I'm at 155 now but my hair is thinning quite a bit.  
Well,  thats all for now.  Have a great Memorial Day Weekend!

I know,  we should always update things on here,  take pics so we can look back on them.  I have just been so busy with work and everything.
I am not feeling much better unfortunatley.  It has been a rough road these past 9 weeks.  I'm still on the soft diet as I cannot eat meat,  any type of starch.  It makes me sooo sick.  I'm on a couple of new meds.  but nothing seems to work.  Hopefully when I go to the Doc on the 23 I will find something out good or bad I just want this feeling to go away.  
Work is very stressful so that is not helping.  A little sad.  I don't miss food at all.  I think most people would be glad but really it is a terrible feeling.
On the up side,  I weighed myself this morning and I am at 160!  My new goal is to get to 155.  
Well,  thats all for now.  I would love any ideas on how to get my protein in that would not include beans or meat lol.

Oh no,  I have a terrible feeling right now.  I ate some Kashi cereal.  It's supposed to be good.  It has 13 g. of protien.  I'm just trying to find something other than yogurt to eat.  This will not be something I can eat.  I'm trying to keep my mind busy because I feel all sweaty like a cold clammy flush feeling and my stomach hurts.  I feel like it's right in my throat still.  This is a different kind of feeling from what I have been having.  I got down about 53 ounces of water today so that should be good?  But this feeling is no good.  
I am absolutley freezing all the time!  I have been wearing 2 shirts and a jacket at work everyday!  I've been doing allot of bending and lifting at work.   I hope this is ok?  I know,  if it's not one thing,  it's another.  
I have allot of stress going on in my life right now so of course,  that makes me smoke even more.  The more I smoke,  the worse I feel!  I'm also very tired.  When I first had the surgery,  I felt wonderful.  Full of energy,  no problems.  Now I'm so tired and don't want to eat.    I thought as time goes by,  things get better?  Seems like I have the oppisite!

Ok,  good news first.  I now weigh 169!  My short term goal achieved.  Next goal is to be 165!
My first day back at work was ok.  I had lots of questions,  lots of staring and of course the negative people.  For the most part,  it was a wonderful day.  Today however,  I am very tired and very sick to my stomach.  More than usual.  I had a little less paitence today and just wanted to take a nap.  Now,  I'm really smoking more than ever and I know I feel terrible because of it.  I do think this is why I am having the medical issues that I do.  Stress is getting higher and with work,  that makes it all the worse.  
Lunch at work was not good.  I have always felt strange eating in front of people and today,  I felt like I was under a microscope.  Unfortunatley,  we have only one lunchroom.  I did try to sit by myself but since allot of people haven't seen me,  they wanted to sit with me.  Every bite I took I felt like they watched me chew and said is that all your allowed to eat?  How can you survive?  Your going to kill yourself eating that small amount.  On and on.  I'm hoping that as time passes,  this will be old news to everyone and they will focus on someone else.  
Gotta go get ready for tomorrow! 

Oh boy,  back to work on April 14!  I asked for it,  I got it!  A little nervous about facing everyone,  thinking about the tremendous work load I will have.  Afraid I will not take the time out to take care of myself during the day.  I guess I have to learn.  It's now or never.
I'm also smoking more now then just once on weekends.  I have to get this under control.  I'm not sure how to do it again.  I did so well.  
The Dr. is treating me for ulcers for right now.  They are hoping that it's not a stricture.  Time will tell.  
I guess I'm a little down today.  I'm still having a hard time eating and have that sick feeling all the time.  I really think it's from smoking.  I felt so good until I started.  
Well,  I'm off to bed now.  I will let all of you know how I do Monday!!

Well,  the good news first.  I am now 171 lbs.!  I just stepped off the scale.  My short term goal is to get into the 160's.  The bad news is,  I think it's because I am not feeling well.  I had to call the Dr.  today.
I've been feeling this strange feeling in like the bottom of my throat.  Like an air bubble or something stuck there for a few days now.  I am soooo nauseated all the time.  I don't want to eat anything at all.  It makes me sick to my stomach to think of food.  I'm able to drink ok,  not throwing up and no fever.  I guess I will find out tomorrow.  I'm pretty nervous to be honest.  I don't want to have to get opened up again and I was set on going back to work next Monday!  
I will pray tonite and guess I will know tomorrow!

I don't know if I should be happy or not.  I stepped on the scale and I now weigh 175.5.  It feels like it's going so slow.  Im hungry when I have no reason to be.  Some say they can see the wl others say they see none.  Tomorrow is a new month.  Hopefully the weather will change and spring will come.  That always lifts my spirit.  Kinda down today.  Sorry. Guess I have to much going on.

To anyone reading my Blog,  I would like to tell you what a wonderful site this is.  I have met the most awesome person on this site.  I know that she has written about me and now I would like to tell you about her.  Her user name is Inspired By Hope.  Some of you may know her as Robyn.  
Without her,  I don't know what I would have done.  She is one of the most compassionate, caring and trusting people I have ever met.  She has inspired me, listened to me and helped me every step of the way since my surgery.  
She is my soul sister.  I thank the Lord for bringing her into my life and OH for developing this site!
 I wanted everyone to know this including her.  Even though I tell her all the time!  Luv u Robyn!

I'm 25 days out today.  Whew what a tough road.  It's been a little bumpy. I'm just very thankful for my friends here!  It will get better....Today I weighed 179 down 24 1/2 pounds.  Just wish I felt better.