lori042499

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I haven't posted in a while, but I am doing well. I have started seeing atherapist to help put things and issues in perspective and it is helping. I am also using therapy to change some defeatist thinking and to change some really bad habits...I am also going to work on changing my thinking on what normal is...I mean really..when I think to myself gee I wish I could just eat normally....Is that a normal thought...That needs to be changed in my inner core...I am eating very normally now and before, well before was definately not normal...

I have lost a whole bunch of weight since surgey and have gotten used to the fact that sometimes I lose nothing for a few weeks and then whamo, off it comes like water pouring through a sieve..Life is good, there are so many small things to be thankful for..I can cross my legs, I can get up out a deep couch unassisted, I can walk without losing my balance, my feet work better, I fit into chairs everywhere, I can walk steps like a normal upright human of my age, I can run somewhat, elevators no longer dip when I get one them, stupid things, but huge they are to me...

I watched the show on style network, Ruby. i love this show...She is an inspiration to all obese people and a true representative of what the worst of our kind go through. She is letting America see what it is really like to live in a 400+ sized body and giving us heart, soul and being while letting them know how hard it is being us...The premier was nov 9th and I am so looking forward to the rest of the shows...

I was going so wel there for a while...I have hit another stall, this time 20 days...I did lose 3 lbs this week, but that makes only 3 lbs this month....I really need to up my water and schedule my food better.

Oh yeah get my fat ass to the gym..

I am happy about the weight I have lost and know that I am not finished...but it does get frustrating...I start therapy tonight to help with ways to occupy time and motivation to get to the gym...and the other various issues that we have post surgery, when you realize just how abnormal your thinking about food was...and is.

I have lost a total of 133 lbs, I have another 130 to go. I have gone down 11 pant sizes from a 34 to 22...I am teetering just at 300 lbs..I have not been under 300lbs since college.When I dress in the morning I can't believe how little I am getting, but then in the same instance I don't feel little at all. I guess that will be one of the things I tell the therapist.. 

Ok so I have lost 43 lbs since surgery and 121 lbs al toll. This is officially the most I have lost at one attempt in my life...

At 323 lbs I am noticing alot of things, I am starting to have a shape other than round. I can bring my leg up onto my knee, there is so much room in the car, I can fit into rest. booths, I can fit into theater seats(not comfortably, but I don't have to leave), I can walk down stairs one after another9instead of one at a time), I have eyes, i feel like a girl again instead of an asexual blob, I have more balance, I sleep better, my sugar is at a more normal range in the morning(120-130 instead of 240-300), I feel comfortable hugging my husband, sex is better, there are so many things...

I am still struggling with taking all my pills, water and protein...I find I run out of time. This needs to change. I still struggle with wanting the bad foods instead of the foods I need to live and be well nourished. Just because I want does not mean I partake. It is coming along slowly but the head seems to take much longer than the belly. I tend to want to avoid eating all together, I feel like it is a waste of time. This concerns me. I have a lot of feelings some are good and some are bad about this whole ordeal. I am forced to deal with these feeling now as I have no choice, prior to WLS I would have just stopped dieting when feelings got in the way, can't do that now..I know I will be needing some counselling one on one. The meetings don't really do what I need them to. I have gone and do enjoy hearing others issues, I just have a problem relating them to my life...

There are many, many good things about surgery...I look better, I feel better, I can do things that before were difficult. This is not the easy way out, as I have heard from many people. Just the opposite as a matter of fact, this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life...I have to make sure I am concentrating on me each and every day or else nutrition gets behind and it is immposible to catch up...The weightloss isn't even easy, I feel I am working just as hard to lose this weight as I have every pound in the past...My heart breaks everytime I have a food issue in front of my mom. I can see that it kills her to see me in pain or suffering because I ate too fast or swallowed air...She looks horrified...but she understands that if I didn't do this I might be still dealing with diabetes complications and weight related issues.

I have dropped 3 more pounds....

I had a whole week with no BM and then yesterday low and behold the dam burst. What a day!! I had a normal BM then diarreah all day...Awful, just awful.

I took a friend of mine to the new patient meeting yesterday. She has an illness that the best course of treatment is rapid weight loss.

Well, I guess this is all for now...

It looks as if I am anemic...

Just what kind I do not know, I will have to wait for the doc on Tuesday to let me know what he thinks...

I do feel better drinking more like 64oz of fluid rather than 45...

I know that I will be started on calcium, iron and b12 on tuesday at my 1 month follow-up and diet progression...solid food, yeah me!!!!

I am hoping to be down the ful 30lbs on tuesday, I have been hovering at 27-28 for days now....

My bowels have begun to be more regular...so I am hoping that will be moving some fat out my system...

3 1/2 weeks post op and had a bad day yesterday....Woke up to feeling weak and woozy...Realized the day before that my urine was very yellow started upping my water....I ran to the doctors office to get blood pressure checked it was fine..blood sugar was not low...cardiogram abnormal...Sent for blood work this morning to check electrolytes and stress echo schedualed for aug 4th...Lets hope all is well and it is just a slight electrolyte imbalance...

I have some experience with this. When I was 14 years old I was on Diet Centers plan and they needed to change the diet for me...I needed to eat 12oz of protein and melon and potassium rich foods because my metabolism was so high....I was losing weight at a rapid pace and using up my nutrients really fast...I never imagined I could possibly have this trouble now at 37 years old....Imagine if my metabolism was not so high, I probably would have been weighing in at 800lbs instead of 4...

Oh well let's hope that it is a slight dehydration and electrolyte issue that I can turn around pretty quickly...