Surgery: failure

Apr 04, 2014

I know nobody reads this but I have to post about this somewhere. Went in for the sleeve surgery today. Had everything going for me. Did the liver shrinking diet. Liquid diet, no fluids the night before. Did the showers with the soap. Had an advance directive, durable power of attorney. Went into surgery. Anesthesia was easy. Next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery being told the surgery wasn't done because they found a 8 cm mass on my liver. They biopsied it but didn't remove it and halted the surgery. It was the first thing they told me. I cried. The entire point of today was to reduce my stomach to lose weight. I'm not even concerned about what the results from pathology will be. Now I feel like I'm screwed. They said that no matter what the results come out as they will still have to remove the mass. I start nursing school in June and I won't be able to have the weight loss surgery on time. Now instead of having 1 surgery I'm having 3. I know that I'm being a huge negative nancy right now, but I just need to vent since everybody wants me to be ok with it. I feel like all of my dreams are on the line. I can't afford 3 surgeries,. Since today was technically elective but there was a complication will the still bill me as elective? If the pathology comes back as benign but they need to remove it to do an elective surgery, will THAT then be considered elective? Because if it is... then I can never get it. I can't afford to pay 50% of 3 surgeries. I have another 157 pounds to lose and I don't think I can do it all on my own. IF for whatever reason it comes back as cancer, then WONDERFUL I'm 23 years old, drink much less than most people my age and I have liver cancer. And if that's the case, say goodbye to everything.

So for now this is my new "plan" if I can even make any plans anymore that ever work. Now I wait for pathology. Make ANOTHER consult with a surgeon. Assuming I can even afford surgery, then I have to do ANOTHER pre-op, and then the mass removal. THEN if that all goes well and the timing works, then I can get the sleeve surgery in my break between July and August.

Sorry to be so negative just... give me a couple of days.

Right now I'm feeling pretty good physically. Since they didn't do much internally I just have some soreness from the incisions, 4 of them. Have some pain meds to get me through. I don't blame anybody. All of the staff were GREAT. I just wish they could have done the removal since they were in there anyway so they could move forward. I completely understand why, that doesn't mean I don't wish it though.

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