lovinglifevegas
I’m 29 years old, and have been overweight my entire life. It bothered me a lot until I was about 15 and realized that I was more mentally stable and confident than most of my skinny friends, and anyone would be lucky to know me! Okay, a little vain, I know, but what can I say – I’m an Aries! So, anyway, my WLS story starts in Taiwan in 1999. My mom is Chinese and I took some time off to travel to travel there, and one day she says out of the blue - "hey, if you want to get that stomach surgery here, it's cheaper and i'll pay for it." So, I was like, "yeah, okay. i'm in!" Anyway, the surgery was a complete failure, and I would like to believe it is mainly due to the fact that i had no pre- or post-op education or support, so I ate through it, puked a little (nothing like "dumping” from what I've heard) and now my stomach is no different than before. I have to go through a million tests to see what my innards look like, and they might have to open me up again (ugh). Unfortunately, I have a huge scar already, running down the center of my body. I call it my zipper.
My counselor and dietician/wellness coach are concerned that, because I am so accepting of who I am on the outside, I might not be as determined to be "someone else" on the outside. Also, I don't have any immediate health concerns (great blood sugar, cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.) and I haven't "hit bottom" as many people have when they become ashamed of their looks, or other self-loathing thoughts.
I, too, am afraid that my "never apologize for who you are or what you look like" attitude will work against me. I am trying, but... I do hope for all of the "crutches" like dumping to remind me that it is NOT okay to continue as I have for so long. Since I have no co-morbidities, I’m also afraid of complications, or somehow getting myself into a situation that is worse off than I am now. I just know that I am headed down that path to diabetes, etc., w/ bad habits and family history, and want to get the surgery before I get any older and more aware of my mortality!
Mainly, I hope that God put me on this earth to do something that I have yet to accomplish, so that I know, no matter what happens on April 25, 2007, I will get through to the other side, to continue whatever it is I am here to do!
