lula
I am a 54' year old woman who currently weighs 260lbs and I am 5'4" tall. I defenately fit into the family of "tried everything else" and have lost and gained weight my whole adult life.
I have a family of 3 sisters and 1 brother who range in weight and size from extra small to regular. My parents are normal weight and the only obese relative I have is not related by blood.
I have diabetes and thyroid problems. I have been researching WLS for about 3 years and have gone to 3 seminars and was real close to having the Lap Band procedure. My insurance would not pay and here I am.
My husband and I own a small business and have struggeled financially for many years ( he just doesn't want to close down. New fortune is always around the corner). So, I lost my insurance ( they were charging me $1300 a month), and money is very short.
A couple of weeks ago my parents decided they would pay for my surgery. They realize that my life is going to be shorter and harder if I do not have surgery. I have decided to have the VSG. It is everything I want in WLS. I appreciate the fact that my insides will remain intact and the fact that complications are slight with this procedure.Since money is an issue I have pretty much come down to a choice between Dr Joya in Mexico and Dr. Pleatman in Michigan. I still have a few calls out and hope to finalize my decision soon. My family has reservations with the whole Mexico thing.
I am excited and nervous. This is truly a miracle to me and I never believed it would happen. I am seeking a good therapist to see me through all of this. I really believe that the before and after are really important. I have concerns about my relationships, especially with my DH. I cannot even imagine the real true changes that are going to happen. I have been overweight since I was a small child.
One of the biggest things I want is just to take the additional adjectives out of play for people who are angry or upset with me. I have had a stranger on a cruise tell me to get down on the deck and roll around on my blubber like the whale I am ( she didn't like the fact that I was saving a chair by the pool).I have had 3 different people tell my husband he could do better than me (all weight based). I even had a woman at a party ask me if I was ashamed of myself, if not I should be, because I was an embarassment to my DH. If people don't like me or have a comment for me I don't want the words fat, whale, oinker etc to be thrown into the mix.
I want to fly on a plane without an extension and without people not wanting to sit by me.
I want to sit by my mom, sisters, husband and children and not feel like I don't fit on the chair and am overwhelming them with my bulk.
I want to feel better, loose the Diabetes, loose the severe back pain, stop the creaking and aching in my knees, sleep better and have more energy.
I want to run. I want to dance.
I want to have my future grandchildren sit on my lap.
I want to live longer and healthier.
I want to shop in regular stores.
I want to look "normal" and fit in with any crowd ( not always look to see if I am the fattest person there).
I have been given a new start and plan top take the steps and make it happen as soon as possible. Life awaits.
12-12-2006
I have my date. January 31,2006. I will be traveling to Mexico and have surgery with Dr Joya. I am excited and scared. I want this surgery. I want to change my life. Why am I already trying to talk myself out of it? Why the thoughts about the liquid diet( am I strong enough)? Why the thoughts of already planning to miss food?
I have another appointment with my therapist today and know he will help me through all of this. I cannot and will not let myself ruin this for me. I have to get used to the idea that I can be normal. I have to get used to the fact that I deserve to be normal.
1-02-07
Happy new year! I am getting excited and a little nervous about my pending surgery. I think about it all the time and I am constantly on the forum. I still have a problem believing that this is really going to happen. It is and this is truley going to be a new year and life for me.
I have scheduled weekly apointments with my therapist. I am buying some of the things I will need when I get home and already have a plan to get rid of the big clothes.I do worry about the way this might change relationships. My husband is very supportive, but he is difficult to judge. He is needy. He needs praise, he needs support, he needs to be right. I know it's ok to need these things but he needs so much of each, most of the time he needs it to be all about him. This is going to be a big change. I pray for God's help. I need wisdom and patience. The good therapist won't hurt either.
I'm not getting nervous yet and am 100% certain I am doing te right thing. My knees have started aching, my sugar has been out of wack, I don't want the kidney problems associated with Diabetes. I hope to have a grandchild in the next couple of years.
Onward and upward!
1-19-2007
Well, I have started my pre op liquid diet, It sucks. I have a very bad headache but the good news is that my sugar was almost normal this morning. I'll have to start watching my medication and adjust it accordingly.
I have not gotten nervous yet, I know that it is from faith. I have the complete and total confidence that God has my back on this one and it is going to be a life changing, life saving surgery.
Onward and upward.
2-10-07
Well I am on the loosers side. I went to Mexico and had a very fast ( just under an hour) and uneventful surgery. Dr Joya's group and hospital are absolutley wonderful. The hospital is very clean all marble and tile, the nurses friendly and very capable. The thing I noticed most was that these people were constantly touching me. Toes, squeeze and hold a hand etc. This simple act makes a world of difference to promote a calm and clear mind.
The resort was lovely. There is a lot to be said for sitting by the ocean to recover. The shopping was fun and the experience was overall first rate. I would do it again tomorrow if I needed to.
I have lost a total of 24 lbs in the last 3 weeks ( I did the liquid pre op) and could not be happier.
God is wonderful. I really know that He hashad my back in all of this and the simple surgery and recovery is just one sign of it. WOW this is great.
My new life begins.
3-23-07
I am now down to 231. I can't remember the last time I weighed this little. Probably 20 to 25 years ago.
Everything has been pretty routine. I eat a lot of soft things still and boy oh boy do I love my sugar freepopsicles. I went for a very long time on a stall and did not loose any weight. I was aware that this was going to happen so it didn't really stress me out.
My husband's 55 year old sister died suddenly last Tueday and we had to make a quick road trip to Layefette LA. 3 hrs each way and one night and next morning in the hospital so we would be with her when she was called home to her Father. I must say that even under these circumstances the eating with VSG was just as easy as can be. I had a tuna sand ( I don't eat the bread), some great lump crab meat bisque, some cashews, a couple of my high protien slim fasts, string cheese, lots of plain water and Propel. I felt normal and when we drive back for the services tomorrow I am confident that whatever food is available I will eat just fine. It really fells good to just be like everyone else. I am just a normal person who can deny even a bite if I don't want it. I now eat because I am hungry. Wow what a concept!
My clothes are getting big but not enough for me to spend any money on new ones. I keep saying just a little longer, but I have cleaned out my closet. It is a great feeling. I now have something to be proud of. This is why this surgery works, plus the itty bitty stomach.
I am also back to my beloved swimming. Every day and I am exceedingly happy about this to. I can't wait to see what other lovely things are in store for me.
4/10/07
I have broken my stall(3 weeks) and lost 2 lbs so far this week. Yippy and Yahoo. The beauty of this surgery is that all you have to do is keep on keeping on and there is not 1 doubt that the weight will start coming off again.
I feel as though God had given me a second chance at life and this time around I am going to fit in. It's weird but right after I totally healed ( maybe 4 or 5 weeks) I realized that food is really not an issue at all. It's so cool to know that you can be like everyone else and that you fit in and it's not hard and no struggle. The monkey and 100 lb weight has been lifted off of me. I don't even think about it on a normal day and feel as though the overweight that is still with me is just a temporary thing. My mind is free which changes everything about me for the better. I feel better from the weight loss, no doubt, and also from swimming 45 min a day, but the real freedom is in my brain, by way of my stomach. I cannot believe that I lived so much of my life suffering and wailing.
Thank you Dr Joya and my parents and my God for everything that is happening and still to come. I love my VSG.
5-17-2007
I have lost 55 lbs. I am very pleased and happy. The difference is very noticable and even my husband is proud and happy. I think this surgery is just a fantastic thing. No worries no bother. I pretty much eat whatever I want I just want differently. I never knew just how easy this would be. I have had crawfish, shrimp, scallops, salad, strawberry protein shakes, oysters,steak and the list goes on. I can't really believe that some day in the not too distant future I will be thin. I will be "normal". I have already booked a cruise for April 26 2008. We love our cruises and this will be my coming out. I love having this goal.
I still swim everyday. I LOVE swimming. More next month.
7-16-07
I have not updated in a couple of months. I was starting to feel as though I was almost done loosing and that extra surgery may be needed. Bing bang boom a little faith and a lot of exercise and eating well and I am moving down again. I know that I cannot be fat anymore. This place of fitting in, buying cute clothes and knowing I am not the fattest person in the room is where I belong.
I never thought that I would feel this good about myself. I never figured that I would be this proud of myself and my efforts.
This surgery does change both your body and mind. It is amazing how your tastes change. Not literally for me, but in my desires and lack of desires in the food department.
I guess the biggest piece of wisdom I can impart now is have faith, even through a looooong stall you can come out a winner if you never give up. This surgery has changed my life, probably saved my life. I love my VSG.
9-26-07
It's been a while since I have posted. I have now lost 78 lbs. I am proud of this but I have had my share of doubts and worry that I might not loose enough weight with just this surgery. Can you believe that I have lost 78 lbs since January of this year and I am considered a slow looser?
We are having a challange on our VSG forum and it is really kicking in for me. We have 3 teams and we count our exercise, water, protein, vitamins, check in, not grazing and something individual. It is a lot of fun and I am loosing again. I have just been in a stall. I am so happy to be loosing again. The up a few lbs, down, up again then finally a loss, gets tough, but it is the way my body works.
I am having some fun in my life now. I wear clothes that look nice, I love to dance( in a club no less), I've gone to concerts and stay up past 10 pm. I am having fun and life is good.
I love my VSG and would do it again in a heartbeat, no question, no fear.
10-22-07
I have finally lost a little more weight. I'm down 3 lbs today. I must admit I have been concerned about loosing more but I know that this surgery will just continue to work if I am doing the right things. Patience and perserverence is the key. I changed my daily swim to a daily walk and I am now up to an hour a day. I walk pretty fast and my belly roll has definetly gone down. I think this walk off your belly thing may really work. My size 16 jeans are getting big. I eat pretty much whatever I want and I do not want for anything. I even went out to breakfast with my SIL after church yesterday. Go figure I found the senior specials( I'm 55 now) and got 1 egg, 1 sausage,1 ham slice and 1 piece of bacon for $4.09. What a deal! I only ate the egg and piece of bacon( oh you got 1 pancake also) I ate 2 bites. My little doggies enjoyed the left overs and I had a special morning. It was nice. That's what you can do after the VSG.
If your contimplating this surgery DO it. I promise you wont be sorry. I love my VSG.
11-28-2007
As of today I have lost 90 lbs. I am happy. I have bought some new clothes in an extra large. I shopped off the rack at Marshall's. I also bought some over the calf suede boots at WalMart, this has been a dream foe oh probably 30 years.
I have been struggeling financially and times have been very hard but I have found that if I keep in keeping on my weight goes down slow and steady. I'm like the turtle, I will win this race. I called my dad today and told him about the 90 lb loss but he doesn't want to hear anything until I loose 100 and whatever I do don't screw up my diet and eat things I should not. Thanks for the atta girl dad and thanks for the confidence in me. That is one of the reasons I am here and writing all this stuff down on OH. This is my other family. This is the family who understands. This is the family who recognizes that if I never lost another lb( but I am still loosing and will continue to do so for a while) a miracle has happened in my life. You simply must have lived through it to totally understand it.
I say again if you are considering the VSG DO IT!!! You will never regret it. You can have the same miracle in your life that I am living now. Me size large pants and extra large( off the racks at" normal stores)" shirts. Me the fat one. Go figure
Onward and Upward
Carla
7-10-08
It has been 8 mos since I have updated my story. A whole lot has happened in those months. No weight loss at all but no weight gain either.
Right after my last post ( I got to 178) I was trying to tell my dad how much weight I had lost. I was so proud of myself. He said" I don't want to hear it until you have lost 100 lbs) I thought to myself" well then maybe I just won't lose 100 lbs, so there" and I haven't lost a pound since that day. It is amazing how these small child feelings and thoughts can still affect you at 56. I have been struggling and fighting my way through this.
I had a bad Christmas( eating too much) and went up 6 lbs. I spent a couple of months or more getting those lbs off and my Mom died suddenly. We did not have the mother /daughter relationship that was entirely healthy and loving. It took me until just before she died to really realize that she had done her best. She just never knew how to do the loving mother thing. Heck, her mother tried to throw all of her children( mom, my aunt and uncle) off a bridge into the river but a stranger stopped her. My grandfather was molisting us( maybe them too?)and Dad was in the navy and gone a year at a time. Mom really did do her best. There were 5 of us and 1 who died at 1 year old. We moved so many times that by 8 th grade I had been in 11 schools. Mom LOVED Navy life and always regreted the day Dad retired.
I was also a constant dissapointment to her. Until the day she died I was reminded that I was the smartest kid and had had the brightest future- got pregnant and married an azzhole wife beater. I have struggled, been very poor, learned to be very happy and content because God is always with me. He directs every aspect of my life and when I figured out that He was big and strong enough to take full care of us. Talk about freedom. I rarely worry. I always have confidence that whatever is happining at the moment is exactically what is supposed to be happening( bad or good) and that it will all work out for my benefit in the end.
So, here I sit July 08. I am back on track. I work my butt off exercising. I am eating well and feel as though I am in control. Still not losing but I have confidence that God will help me get that going again soon( in His time). I'm looking at another 25 lbs or so. I am still BMI 30.5 and considered obese( dadgum BMI chart). You should see me I'm very lean and wear a large and 14. Would be 10-12 if I had my skin removed. I am going to the Methodist Hospital residency program for a consult next Monday. The only way I will be able to afford it is through the grace of God. So any prayers are welcome.
The other big news is that I am going to be a first time grammy on or about Aug 7. This has been my dream. I hope that I can be a better grandmother than I was a mother. Living with a man who beat me regularily was not condusive to being a good parent.
Life is good. I am happy. The VSG has changed my life. If you are contimplating this surgery. Do it. You will not be sorry.
Onward and upward
Carla
