marsarg

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I have found out that I am one  of the ones who can eat sugar and have no problems.  That was the worst thing for me.  I feel like I am back to my old eating habits.  I know they are not nearly as bad as they were, but I have lost control.  I have been stuck at the same number on the scale now for 8 weeks.  203-205.  I so badly want to get under 200.  I know that all I have to do is get back to basics and I still can't do it.
The one thing that surprised me know is my identity crisis.  All of a sudden I am not sure who I am.  I look in the mirror and I know its me, but I am not sure how  to act and who to be in my new body.  I look at my hair which is so much thinner that it has ever been and I look so different.  Maybe that is why I am not able to get under 200.  Maybe it is because I don't know how to handle who i am if I change anymore.
Please keep me in your prayers that I get passed this issue.  I really want to get below 200.  OK...a deal with myself and all my OH friends...tomorrow I go back to basics.  Increase the protein, stay away from the sugar and get in my water.

I will let you know how it goes.

Well...I had my first chance to try my new life out on a vacation. We were gone for 16 days!  We packed a lot of food to take with us in the car.  I always had protein bars with me.  We split a lot of meals.  When was the last time you could say you were on vacation for 16 days and still lost 7 pounds????

It was a good time.

one thing that I don't put in my blogs is were I am in my weight loss.  I know that is one of the things I have been looking for in others' writings.  So, here is it.  I am 81/2 weeks out I am at 54lbs down.  Started at 318, now at 264 For a while it came to almost a stop, but then all of the sudden it took off again.  It is excititng when it happens that way.  
When I started this journey, no one could have told me how it feels.  I read blogs and I feel what they are feeling, but until you are here, you will never completely understand.
So many emotions to go through.    I have felt sorry for myself and then the next day be so excited I didn't know what to do.  But, each day the feelings of "missing" food go away.  When I first got home from the hospital all I could do was think about food.  Slowly it started to fade.  Now, I think about what I need to eat to live.  I have tried some of the foods that I thought I was missing (fish & chips)...they just don't taste the same anymore.  I can finally look at them and see a pile of grease.  I was worried that it wouldn't happen and I would always want the "bad" food, but it is going away!!!

I have figured out that carbs go down and stay in so much easier than protein.  I have to figure out a way to stop this "snacking".  It is just a couple of crackers at a time, but over the day they add up to about 10 crackers.  I must figure out a way to stop this!

I also need to start excersizing.  I really want to but keep making up excuses for myself.  My weight loss has come to almost a stop and now I know why.  It is just a miracle cure.  I must work at this and work hard.  When you have been living one way for so long, it is a hard habit to break.

I wanted to wrtie this all down.  I know I read so many blogs of other people;s to see if they are having the same problems.  I guess maybe somebody will read this and say "wow, that sounds like me"

So, what I am going to do about it:  I am going to commit to start walking 3-4 times a week starting today.  I am also going to make sure that I have at least one shake a day.  Right now I have about 1/wk. I don't like them

I have had so much fun reading everybody else's, that I  haven't written anything in my own blog.

I had my surgery March 8, 2101.  The first day in the hospital I cried "what did I do to myself".  But, by the time I went home, I was feeling good.  I had a lot of energy the first couple of weeks.  The sleep apnea was gone!  No more snoring!  I couldn't believe it.  Neither could my husband.

I had a very quick weight loss at firs...about 25 lbs in 2 weeks, then it started to slow down.  I am 7 weeks out and I have lost 46 lbs.  I feel like I should have lost more, but thank goodness for everybody else's blogs, I found it I am on target.  I would like to have 100lbs gone by 6-7 months and I hope I can do it.

I have not been very good about the excersize.  It seems that I am always running errands after work.  I know that is what I have to do to get the scale moving.  I was also having problem getting in enough protein.

I am going to make myself a promise to start blogging so that I  can go back and read about where I have been to remind me about where I am going.

Well, I have changed surgeons and I am very happy with the office help in the new office.  Although, I have left 3 messges with my insurance coordinator and no return call.

I believe all my paperwork is in, now I just have to wait and see if BC accepts it.

I cry myself to sleep thinking that I may be turned down again.  This would be time #3.  It was os hard last time.  I see people who are active and I want to do that.  I see people who are wearing cute clothes, I want that.

I wake up and everything hurts.  I don't want that anymore.

Please pray for me that it all goes through.  I hope to start my new life Feb 9th, 2010.

1/25/10