mdebbrr

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Hello,
My name is Michelle.  I have always been overweight but the past 10 years I have exploded!  I am at my all time high of 410lbs.  Which I have been fluctuating back and forth from 380-410 the past year.  I have not had any health issues until the past two years.  My legs do not look like my legs anymore.  :(  I am tired and just don't have any energy.  I have horrible eating habits and I have decided that I am going to hold off on the surgery until I can get get my "head" in the game.  This is a picture of me in my early 20's I think.  I want to be that size again!!!

I have tried for bypass surgery for about 5 years (3 difference insurance companies) without luck.  I half-heartedly wanted it the past 3 years.  My mind is just not right and I go back and forth.  I know at my size I need this surgery but I also know in my heart that until I get my eating habits and exercise under control that I am setting myself up to fail.  So...at 410 lbs I joined a gym!  I was petrified.  I begged my sisters to join with me but only one did.  We are one week in and I already feel so much better.  I am mostly doing water aerobics (not like it used to be thats for sure!), walking and floor excercises.   I hope to build up my stamina and I set a goal of 60lbs for myself on my own.  After I get that down...well then I will see how far I can do this on my own!  Surgery is still on my radar but my goal is to eat better, eat regular and excercise until my legs fall off!

Well thats enough business talk... now onto my personal life.

I am 34.  I am an animal lover and involved in bull breed rescue and education.  www.ebbrr.blogspot.com and www.bmoredog.org   I love American Bulldogs and have two.  I have an African Grey parrot that my sister is babysitting for me.  I have one nephew that is 6 and a niece on the way this month.  I have always been overweight but I was fairly healthy and athletic until lately.  It seems my bodyshape just turned to jello over the past 5 years.  My whole shape has changed and its disgusting.  I love my body but I am ashamed that I was not paying attention (or ignoring) what has been going on.  I have become self concscience lately because my legs are so huge now and one is larger then the other.  This really bothers me.  I have been to the doctors but it seems that my weight is the culprit.  I also have sleep apnea and have been using the CPAP machine.  I am still only sleeping about 5 hours a night but its better.  Well after years of lurking on this website I finally feel like this year I AM going to make changes.  So I will keep you all posted.

Good luck to everyone and keep you head up!

Michelle