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So, I'm a little over 6 months out from surgery now.   I feel really great...I have so much energy.  However, my weight loss has really started to slow down and I know I need to exercise.   I haven't really been exercising like I need to and it's starting to show.  So, I'm thinking about taking a spin class.   They have one at the local ymca during my lunch break and I would love to do it....if I could just make myself walk down there and try it.    I'm just so nervous about being there with all those people and looking like an idiot because I've never done anything like that before.  I'm just going to have to make myself do it.  

My weight hovers between 158 and 164.   Mainly, it's closer to 158 most of the time...it's a very strange feeling to have a fluid weight.  But I'm wearing size 10 and 12 now and medium/large tops.   Not much longer till goal...maybe by the end of February. I still have a while to consider plastics but It's definitely in my future as far as my stomach goes.   Other than that....I feel completely normal again...maybe even a little self-conscious because of all the comments I get about my looks but other than that I'm so great and still never regret this decision not even for a moment.   

 Well - my weight finally moved but I didn't make my goal for the month.   I was 4 lbs away so I'm not going to beat myself up about it.  I wasn't that bad on Thanksgiving.   I didn't eat any sweets but the bread is another story and I also had dressing.  God was it good!  Anyway, it's Monday morning now and I'm back on track.   I went to Belk's on Saturday (also saw Twilight - more on that in a minute) and I tried on several pairs of 14's that fit great and even a pair of 12 in Levi's that fit tight but they still fit.  I'm still wearing a Large top but that's okay.  I think I look way better than I use to...also, I feel a lot better....tons more energy.  I'm still noticing the moodiness but it's not so bad this month.   I'm definitely taking more care with my appearance when I go out but I'm still lov'n my PJ's at home.   It's funny, actually, because my 12 yr old son tried to pick me up last night and he actually did.  Picked me right up off the ground. I couldn't believe it.  He wrapped his arms all the way around me and picked me up and that's the first time he's EVER attempted anything like that.  He also  commented that I was getting too thin (whatever!).  It was sweet of him to say that.  So, I guess my kids are noticing the weight loss even if they don't ever say anything about it.   

Now, back to Twilight.  Saw the movie - let me just say that I'm in LOVE with Edward.  I thought he was awesome.   Bella was not so great but overall the movie was good and I'll probably buy it when it comes out on DVD.   I'm going to have to read the second book again just to see what's suppose to happen next.  BTW, I'm going to try to post more pics of me when I get a chance.   It's so difficult for me to do that for some reason on this site.  

 I have hit my first stall.   It's making me a little crazy.  I've rotated between the 172-175 for the past 2 weeks with no loss.   I'm slightly loosing my mind over it.   If I could exercise better I know it would fade away but I've been so busy with work lately that I don't have time exercise more.   I think my hormones may be going crazy because my periods have started back on their own and it's been awful.   I used to have periods like 3 times a year but since I've been 4 months out they've been coming pretty regular and I've been pms'n like crazy.   First I feel like I'm starving, then I don't eat anything all day.   I'm trying hard to stick to a routine but IT IS DIFFICULT.   When I'm not pms'n, I'm perfectly fine and eat like I'm suppose to.   I'm in a terrible rut.   

 You can't imagine how different I feel about this birthday compared to last year.   I'm excited, energetic and upbeat.   I'm wearing some size 12's but mostly 14/16 and size Large tops.   It's great.....incredible, really.   Last year I was depressed and exhausted.   While I still get tired easily, I come back strong and don't have to lay down for hours to feel better.   I can walk faster and more efficiently.   I'm able to keep up with my kids better and I haven't even gotten to my goal weight yet.   I'm excited and optimistic about reaching my goal weight by the end of December.   I need to lose 15 lbs but the end of November and 20 lbs. by the end of December and I will have reached my 100 lb. goal.  I'm really excited about it and hope that it happens.   

 It's rather incredible because I got on the scale this morning and this is what it said.  I almost peed on myself I was so excited.   I'm so glad that I had this surgery!

 Well - I went to the dr. this morning for a check-up and I weighed......185 lbs.   That is so amazing.  I can't even begin to describe how this makes me feel.   I'm wearing 14-16's and size Large shirt and I feel so incredible.   I think I look pretty good too...it's just that, of course, I look better with clothes on than I do off.   My stomach looks like a train wreck and my thighs are all saggy...but other than that I'm doing pretty good.   So, over all that gives me a total weight loss of 58 lbs.   I think I will definitely meet my goal 4 mo. goal of losing 60 lbs.   So, now, all I have to do is lose 80 lbs. by the end of November and then 100 lbs. by the end of December.   My hair is still falling out but it's slowing down.   The nurse told me this morning that it should start growing back in by December.   I hope, otherwise I'll be bald by then.  Well - that's all the good news I have for today.  I'll try to figure out how to post pictures again.  

 I had such a wonderful time at the beach.  I can't even describe to you how relaxing and how wonderful it was to be with my family.   I've started several new chapters in my life this year.  Not only have I had life-changing surgery but also decided to go back to school.  So, I'm going to study to be a teacher and I'm really excited about it.   October 30th will be my 4 mo. anniversary of surgery.   It seems like it's been longer but I think because I can eat a lot more stuff now...so I feel more normal now than I did after surgery.  I've yet to have a hunger pain since surgery.  So, that's encouraging to me, at least.  I've lost around 55 lbs so far and I feel wonderful.   I just need to lose another 40-50 lbs. and I will be at goal.   I'm hoping to lose 60 lbs by my 4 month check-up.  I think that's pretty reasonable.  But oh, how I would love to lose that other 40 lbs by the end of the year.  I might not be able to do it but I would love to come close.   So, that's my next goal..is to lose 40 pounds by December.   That's 20 lbs. a month or 5 pounds a week.  So, it is doable but I will be have to be very strict with my protein drinks and walk, walk, walk.   When the new year comes I will make more goals then but I'm concentrating right now on the 60 lbs lost by October 30th.  I think I can do it...that's just 5 lbs. in two weeks.   I wish the weight loss showed more in my body.  I'm very short and have huge boobs (which have lost nothing), so the weight loss doesn't show as much.  But I will admit that I just look chunky now instead of fat.  I'm very proud of myself and the way I look, I just wish it showed more.  I'm wearing a 16 now and a large top.  I'm very pleased with that and can't wait to see my progress in a few weeks.   

 Our vacation is right around the corner and I'm so happy.  Things have been so busy this school year!   My oldest son is trying out for basketball at school and my middle son is playing fall baseball.   So, those kids keep us hopping.  About me - I'm still losing steadily.  Close to 50 lbs. lost now.   People tell me I look great and they can really tell a difference but I don't see it so much now as I did before.   I'm wearing 16/18 which is good but more 18's than 16's.   But the important thing is that I'm half-way to my goal weight and that's exciting and I'm not even 3 months out yet.  I hope by Christmas that I will have lost all the weight that I want to...but I don't mind to lose slow and steady as long as it keeps coming off.   My stomach looks like a train wreck right now though so, plastics is definitely in my future.   At least for my stomach.   I can pretty much eat whatever I want....I haven't had many problems with anything except too much sugar but I don't eat a lot of surgar so that's good.  My drink of choice is still water.   I feel great and have more energy and I'm still glad that I had the surgery.   

 I'm getting ready to go to Panama City Beach in October and I'm excited but also a little nervous.  I'll be putting my body on display in a huge way.  I'm still a little self conscious about it but I'm looking forward to having a great time with my kids and family and friends.  I'm hoping to lose another 15-20 pounds before we go but I'm not sure if it's going to happen.  I'm working toward that goal but it seems like it's taking forever to lose weight.   I'm still losing steadily which I guess is good.  I've lost a total of 43 pounds so far since surgery and that's wonderful....but I want to be thinner.  I'm crazy.  Anyway.............

I'm feeling much better and that's what counts.   Even though I will say my perspective is starting to change about certain things.  I feel differently than I did before I had surgery because I am different.  I'm still the same me as far as my beliefs and my core feelings...but over time I've noticed that the way I see others has changed slightly.  I hope this is a good thing.      

 I'm at work writing this blog so I have to be quick but just wanted to share my thoughts.  I've been struggling a little with my food choices (as I knew I would) because I feel almost deprived in a weird sort of way.  But when I take a bite of something sweet or something starchy, my craving, so to speak, is gone.  It's weird how that one bite can completely change my thoughts or how I think about food.  I can think that I want something really bad and then one bite and I'm done.  I guess that's a good in a way but it's still bad that I choose to take that one bite.  I  mean I don't want to deprive myself forever, but I'm only 1 1/2 mos. out of surgery.  So, it's not like I'm 2 years out or anything.  I guess the one thing that I miss more than anything else right now is carbonated beverages.   Even the diet ones or ginger ale.   I tried sprite and it doesn't work well for me right now...maybe I'll try it again later but during the colder months I don't drink carbonated beverages that much, it's really just during the summer.  I guess I'm just trying to find that happy medium where I can still make good decisions but be a little bad sometimes.  Not everyday but maybe once a week.  My nutritionist says that creates bad habits but honestly, it wasn't good ones in the first place that got me to where I am, that's not an excuse, but it's the truth.