Wake Up Call

Feb 08, 2010

So this is the first "blog" entry I have ever done and I am a bit intimidated by the fact that others could read what I am about to write.. but I type on in the hopes that what I have to say will help me work through some stuff and might just help someone else.

So, standing in the middle of a Super Bowl party was like being a crack addict standing in the middle of a crack house with no money. I felt hyper-focused on all the food around me. I could almost see how the food tasted. And people kept telling how bad they felt for me.... all while chips were falling from their mouths!

I came prepared. My husband made me chilli and I brought greek yogurt to pretend I had sour cream. So I was not the freak from the circus that I felt like. I really was eating food that everyone else was eating. But there are some things I missed.

Soda. Man did I want an ice cold can of coke. One of my favorite things. And there was a taco salad that looked yummy. I coveted some wings... but DH said they were not so good so I cross them off the list. Desserts also looked lovely.. I am blessed with some good bakers as friends!

But since I am jumping in the middle of my recovery there are some things you should know in order to make sense of the non-food experience I had last night.

I am 4 weeks out of RYN surgery. I have had no complications and have lost 30 lbs. However, my eating ability is progressing at a slow rate. I am still at the mushy food stage and sometimes that is dicey...My personal menu is very limited because food gets stuck and every day seems different. But for some reason, that chilli goes down nice! Good times!

So why was it a wake up call? 2 reasons... 1. I have to learn to navigate situations like last night. they are going to continue. I have a young family with lots of friends. And we love to be together. So parties are here to stay. 2. I actually can navigate a party with great success. I helped set up the food, I helped clean up.. and I watched my huband drink a coke with longing. But, i did it.

Why am I hungry today? I think I am hungry for the physical recovery phase to be over. I get tired very easy and I really have to slow it down and plan things out. And those last 11 words were the biggest revelation of all.

This blog thing might not be such a bad idea. 

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