Micci, I am so sorry. I have been there. You need to go to counseling for YOURSELF. If he comes back, and will go with you, so much the better, but either way, you need to talk to someone who can help you get through this. Why are you cancelling your surgery? I would try anything to get it done now that you have worked so hard to get approved. I understand completely that you feel like crawling into bed and pulling the covers over your head, but trust me, as someone who has been there, try very hard to go on. For your son if not yourself. I am keeping you in my prayers.
Nanci