Mimwithaband
Can't Get Back to Good
Nov 22, 2009
I am so sick and tired. I look at pictures from 6 months ago and want to crawl into a hole. You see in late June/ early July I got sick and had to have a mass removed from the roof of my mouth. The mass turned out to be something called Necrotizing Sialometoplasia. It is apparently benign yet looks like a cancer. It is hard to distinguish between malignant or benign. I have also had some other problems to arise and they are unusual and so far undiagnosed. I am being treated for my symptoms by a neurologist and am on 2 medications that I really hate. I originally lost 80 pounds and have gained half of it back and it is breaking my heart. I don't know what to do because I am so depressed and not driven. I want to give up. I want someone to help me. I want to learn to live again. I want to swim. I want to look like I did 6 months ago. Let's talk about obsession for a minute. I was obsessed with my weight loss for months. Now all I can do is wish for that obsession to come back. I thought I was done. I thought I had finally done it and here I am again over 200 pounds. I feel like a complete failure. I am finally crying tonight. I need to cry. I am so tired of being mad at myself and yet have no idea how to let go of the anger. Someone, anyone tell me it is okay, tell me you have been through this too. Someone tell me it is going to get better. Goodnight.
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About Me
Glen Allen, VA
Location
36.0
BMI
Surgery
07/14/2008
Surgery Date
Feb 13, 2009
Member Since
