min2758
I've been thinking about WLS for a long, long time.... and I'm finally ready. I'm ready to step OFF the dieting roller coaster. Say goodbye to the ups and downs of yo yo dieting, diet programs, feeling ashamed and embarrassed that weight has been such a struggle for me my entire adult life. Goodbye to the extra pounds, the pain in my knees, the extreme heartburn (fingers crossed!), getting winded walking my son to the bus stop, the plus size clothes... I am ready for a new way of life that does NOT revolve around food, either the consumption of or deprivation of.
I've struggled with my weight my entire adult life. As a child, I was constantly told I was too fat, deprived of food or fed garbage processed food like Lean Cuisines while my family ate a normal meal. When I look at pictures of myself as a child, I was NOT overweight, but nevertheless I was raised like I was. I was punished for it. Insulted and berated in hopes to "motivate" me. Attempts by my parents to get me to lose weight only gave me a complex about it. By high school I was sneaking junk food and sweets and eating my friends' leftovers. By the time I was out on my own, the weight crept on. I maintained an average of 170-180 for years until I had my son. The fast food my husband and I ate while he was infant packed on another 20. Shortly after, I began working a stressful job at a call center. I won't name names; but I worked for a large cable company that recently purchased a major tv network. It was HELL on earth. It provided a roof over my head and health insurance for my son and I; looking back now it wasn't worth the cost. But it paid the bills at the time. I gained 50 lbs more working there due to stress, long odd hours, OT, stress, overeating (stresssssss) and constant food around the call center. It was an environment that fostered obesity. My supervisor weighed around 600lbs. I was the small girl on my team at only 60ish pounds overweight, when I started. I've since quit that horrid job and I've never been happier. My blood pressure went down from borderline high to average. My severe headaches have drastically lessened, but the weight has not come off. Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Medifast, calorie counting, I've done it all. I received a lot of criticism when I voluntarily left that HORRID job in this economy (which has since closed my old office and relocated all jobs to either overseas locations or cheaper states) but it was the best thing I've ever done for myself. Until now.
I don't know why I haven't lost weight the "natural" way... do I lack discipline? Motivation? Self control? I can't say, quite honestly, and I no longer worry about it. I didn't give birth the "natural" way (epidural) but I ended up with a beautiful, healthy baby and a perfect, problem free delivery. There is no stigma with getting an epidural these days, so why should I let the stigma of WLS make me feel like a failure? I shouldn't, and I won't. The epidural helped my delivery, and I expect WLS to help with my weight loss journey.
I look forward to the day I can fit into average sized clothes. When I can donate my plus size clothes to someone who needs them for work like I once did. I am very blessed in my life right now to have a wonderful husband and son who love me very much, who I love more than my own life. I have an awesome home in a great city and I can't thank God enough for giving me this beautiful life. I want to live life to the fullest. I want to be IN the family vacation pictures, not hiding behind the camera. One month from today I'll be getting the surgery done and I welcome this opportunity for a healthier life with open arms.
See you on the Loser's Bench!!
