A few things no one talks about...

Oct 23, 2012

I've discovered on my journey that there are a few things about biariatric surgery that surgeons, post patients, or therapists never really discuss.  I want to get some personal things out in the open that I feel pre or post surgery patients need to be aware of.

1. Is your marriage or relationship is secure?  I have seen the demise of several marriages and relationship because of weight loss.  Either the post surgery patient becomes overly confident and cocky and decides they want to "sew their wild oats" leaving their supportive partner in the dust, or the partner becomes jealous and insecure or suspicious and creates a mistrust wedge in the relationship.  Either way, I have seen this surgery ruin marriages, turn people into something they never thought they would become, and destroy families.  Be sure you are in therapy pre and post surgery to deal with these potential issues.

2. I didn't know I had a libido!  Oh yes.  Let's talk about it -- SEX!  No one discusses it because it's so taboo but with the weight loss comes a drastic increase in your sex drive.  As an overweight person, I had no interest in this department.  As the weight comes off, you will discover that your flexibility, energy level, and sex drive all return -- with a vengeance!  So be prepared to free your inner sex god or goddess!

3. Hair loss.  Some people discuss this and I was given a heads up before my surgery, but nothing could have prepared me for the clumps and clumps of hair I would lose.  This has by far been the one thing that has bothered me the most.  I loved my hair.  It was beautiful.  It's always been on the thinner side so I couldn't afford to lose much.  But I can say that I've lost about a third of the volume of my hair and it's been frustrating.  I take Biotin dissolvable vitamins and my proteins, but nothing seems to be stopping the unending hair loss.  With every shower, I see more and more of it going down the drain.  It's heartbreaking.  I've been losing my hair post surgery for at least 6 months now with no end in sight.  The good news is my friends and coworkers don't seem to notice... but I do.  I don't know when the loss will cease but I'm praying it is sooner rather than later before I end up a cue ball.

4. My mind still thinks I'm fat.  I've discovered that the mental aspect of this journey is much more difficult than the physical journey.  Although I see great changes in my body, my mind has had a hard time keeping up.  My self confidence is plagued by my old self.  Other people continue to compliment me on my success but I still see my "imperfections."  I believe that routine therapy with a professional who works with bariatric patients would be wise pre and post surgery to work through these mental struggles.

5. Addiction.  Did you know that as obese people most of us are addicted to food?   What I have discovered is that without that food as our addiction outlet anymore, many people turn to other addictions to satisfy their "hunger."  My unfortunate newfound addiction is sex and relationships... I can't get enough.  I went from being divorced, overweight, unwanted, and undesired for 5 years to slim and sexy gaining all kinds of attention and with a heightened sex drive.  I was destined to fall into a sexual addiction trap.  My codepdency has returned and, again, I can't stress enough the importance of therapy... which I am seeking.

I hope this entry has given some insight into some of those "taboo" or "unspoken" things that no one else discusses and may give you a few things to consider pre and post surgery.
 

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