Laura H.
Profile updated
Apr 13, 2007
I've done some editing to my profile, changing the intro and filling in the "My Story" section although I used it to give my advice instead.
I saw Dr. Egrari today and he is so pleased with my wound progress that he is re-evaluating the need to take me back into the OR. He wants to watch its progress for the next week or 10 days and then decide if we should stitch it closed or let it close on it's own.
It really is doing better. The funny thing is it's totally gross, lots of blood and gore but to me it is beautiful because I know this means it's finally healing.
I posted a bunch of nice pictures today so that the wound pictures wouldn't be the ones that show up in the "photos" section on my profile page. they are still there you just have to go to the plastics album to see them.
I guess that's enough for now. Thanks for reading.
I saw Dr. Egrari today and he is so pleased with my wound progress that he is re-evaluating the need to take me back into the OR. He wants to watch its progress for the next week or 10 days and then decide if we should stitch it closed or let it close on it's own.
It really is doing better. The funny thing is it's totally gross, lots of blood and gore but to me it is beautiful because I know this means it's finally healing.
I posted a bunch of nice pictures today so that the wound pictures wouldn't be the ones that show up in the "photos" section on my profile page. they are still there you just have to go to the plastics album to see them.
I guess that's enough for now. Thanks for reading.
Fresh measurements
Feb 26, 2007
I got out the tape measure the other day and measured just my bust waist and hips, here are the results:
Bust = 39"
Waist = 34" (still very swollen)
Hips = 39"
I am still quite swollen from the LBL, especially in the waist and the belly area where the necrosis is. I get swollen to the point of pain by the end of the day most days.
I am still dealing with the necrosis and go in for my third round of debriding on Wed. It is getting better slowly but I am really tired of it. I just want it to heal so I can take a bath and not have to change the dressing two or three times a day.
Other than that life is pretty good.
Bust = 39"
Waist = 34" (still very swollen)
Hips = 39"
I am still quite swollen from the LBL, especially in the waist and the belly area where the necrosis is. I get swollen to the point of pain by the end of the day most days.
I am still dealing with the necrosis and go in for my third round of debriding on Wed. It is getting better slowly but I am really tired of it. I just want it to heal so I can take a bath and not have to change the dressing two or three times a day.
Other than that life is pretty good.
Off the hard drugs (I think)
Jan 18, 2007
I made it through today with only Tylenol for pain. I think this means I am done with the narcotics. Yay! I have bagged them up and put them away.
If I spoke to you or saw you over the last two weeks please forgive me if I have no memory of it. I am told that I behaved normally but I think the memory banks were closed for a holiday because I just have vague warm fuzzy feelings about people who I know were here and probably did very nice things for me. Thank you for your help!
By the way, never mix Tylenol with Roxicet or Lortab, they both already contain Acetaminophen and you can do serious damage to your liver if you get clever and try to use over the counter tylenol for break through pain. I almost did this but luckily, Dr. Rabkin, who does liver transplants, warned me before I tried it.
Necrosis update:
I think the grey area is looking like it is going to be fine. It is still pinkish white and I think it is pretty much out of the woods. So I am just expecting to losing the black dead skin. It still sucks but it sucks much less!
My surgeon wants to see me three times a week until it is healed. At least now I can drive myself since I am off the drugs.
I am pretty swollen this evening but I think that is to be expected as I get more active and now that the drains are out. I had no idea how annoying those drains were til they were gone. Life is much simpler now.
If I spoke to you or saw you over the last two weeks please forgive me if I have no memory of it. I am told that I behaved normally but I think the memory banks were closed for a holiday because I just have vague warm fuzzy feelings about people who I know were here and probably did very nice things for me. Thank you for your help!
By the way, never mix Tylenol with Roxicet or Lortab, they both already contain Acetaminophen and you can do serious damage to your liver if you get clever and try to use over the counter tylenol for break through pain. I almost did this but luckily, Dr. Rabkin, who does liver transplants, warned me before I tried it.
Necrosis update:
I think the grey area is looking like it is going to be fine. It is still pinkish white and I think it is pretty much out of the woods. So I am just expecting to losing the black dead skin. It still sucks but it sucks much less!
My surgeon wants to see me three times a week until it is healed. At least now I can drive myself since I am off the drugs.
I am pretty swollen this evening but I think that is to be expected as I get more active and now that the drains are out. I had no idea how annoying those drains were til they were gone. Life is much simpler now.
Almost forgot!
Jan 15, 2007
Oh yeah, and I weighed in at 158# this morning! Below Goal!!
Necrosis update: Good doctor visit
Jan 15, 2007
This morning my hero, Naomi, drove me to Dr. Egrari's to get my drains removed and my necrosis looked at. It went quite well. The drain removal was painful but quick and the pain only lasted a couple of minutes. I was told it would hurt along the lines of a bikini wax and I guess that is probably about right.
Then Dr. Egrari turned his attention to my necrosis and was very encouraged with the grey area which had now turned yellowish and seemed to have some whitish skin below. He decided to do some minor debriding and used a scalpel to scrape off the yellow layer. He was thrilled to find that the white layer underneath bled! He scraped off the whole yellow layer and the bleeding was on the order of what you would have with getting a tattoo, so not horrible but definitely bleeding. This is excellent news because dead skin does not bleed.
We are now only using the Silverdene on the black/dead skin and have switched to wet to dry dressing for the bloody area. This means I soak some gauze in sodium chloride and put on the wound and then layer dry gauze over it. The whole thing is held in place by my surgical binder. It is not a bad arrangement and it is made easier now that I don't have to mess with the drains.
Tomorrow I am allowed to take a shower for the first time since January 3rd!!! I am very excited but may have to wait a little because I am not allowed to shower without another adult present to make sure I don't pass out from all the excitement or something. Actually, I think the danger is the combination of standing and hot water can cause lightheadedness. The good news for those who have been around me for the past few days is that a wonderful woman who had this surgery a few weeks before me was kind enough to visit me and brought me these special disposable wash clothes for doing sponge baths. They really work so I am not stinky at all!
Then Dr. Egrari turned his attention to my necrosis and was very encouraged with the grey area which had now turned yellowish and seemed to have some whitish skin below. He decided to do some minor debriding and used a scalpel to scrape off the yellow layer. He was thrilled to find that the white layer underneath bled! He scraped off the whole yellow layer and the bleeding was on the order of what you would have with getting a tattoo, so not horrible but definitely bleeding. This is excellent news because dead skin does not bleed.
We are now only using the Silverdene on the black/dead skin and have switched to wet to dry dressing for the bloody area. This means I soak some gauze in sodium chloride and put on the wound and then layer dry gauze over it. The whole thing is held in place by my surgical binder. It is not a bad arrangement and it is made easier now that I don't have to mess with the drains.
Tomorrow I am allowed to take a shower for the first time since January 3rd!!! I am very excited but may have to wait a little because I am not allowed to shower without another adult present to make sure I don't pass out from all the excitement or something. Actually, I think the danger is the combination of standing and hot water can cause lightheadedness. The good news for those who have been around me for the past few days is that a wonderful woman who had this surgery a few weeks before me was kind enough to visit me and brought me these special disposable wash clothes for doing sponge baths. They really work so I am not stinky at all!
Lower body lift
Jan 15, 2007
I had my lower body lift on January 3, 2007 with Dr. Egrari.
I am stunned at how much difference it has made to my appearance! He took off 13 pounds of skin and fat but the amazing thing is how much better my thighs look. I am thrilled because I don't think I will need to do a medial thigh lift now. My thighs are not perfect but they are plenty good enough for me! They look better than they ever have and I think they look normal for a woman in her 40s.
He also did an amazing job on everything else. I am still a little swollen but even so I look great. My butt is really small but I am hoping it will look bigger as the swelling in my waist goes down.
The only bad news is, I have developed necrosis in the front of my incision just above the mons and below the belly button. I'll post a seperate post about that next.
I am stunned at how much difference it has made to my appearance! He took off 13 pounds of skin and fat but the amazing thing is how much better my thighs look. I am thrilled because I don't think I will need to do a medial thigh lift now. My thighs are not perfect but they are plenty good enough for me! They look better than they ever have and I think they look normal for a woman in her 40s.
He also did an amazing job on everything else. I am still a little swollen but even so I look great. My butt is really small but I am hoping it will look bigger as the swelling in my waist goes down.
The only bad news is, I have developed necrosis in the front of my incision just above the mons and below the belly button. I'll post a seperate post about that next.
Mini-update
Dec 13, 2006
By the way, I am down to 170 now. I will be having a lower body lift with Dr. Egrari on Jan. 3rd 2007. Things are moving along. 170 is the lowest weight I have ever been since reaching my full height. I think I will end up weighing considerably less in the end but I've plataeued out here for now. The LBL will probably take of 10-15 pounds and then I'll see what happens from there.
I still love my DS!
I still love my DS!
What do I look like?
Dec 13, 2006
Do I look like this?
Or do I look like this?
How about this one?
It's really confusing. The loose skin is rather surreal. As long as I don't look down it is like it's not there. Weird.
Or do I look like this?
How about this one?
It's really confusing. The loose skin is rather surreal. As long as I don't look down it is like it's not there. Weird.
Before and after photos
Oct 19, 2006
Here is a Family photo taken at my brother's wedding in Hawaii on September 24th 2005, about a week before my surgery.
Brian, Me, my father Maitland, my brother Hugh, My new sister in law, Susan, my mother Doris, my Aunt Debby and my Uncle Norman
And here is another family photo taken at my parent's 50th anniversary on Sept. 17 2006.
Susan (holding ultrasound of my soon to be nephew or niece), me with Alice, my mother, my father and my brother
It boggles my mind!
Brian, Me, my father Maitland, my brother Hugh, My new sister in law, Susan, my mother Doris, my Aunt Debby and my Uncle Norman
And here is another family photo taken at my parent's 50th anniversary on Sept. 17 2006.
Susan (holding ultrasound of my soon to be nephew or niece), me with Alice, my mother, my father and my brother
It boggles my mind!
Transfering profile
Oct 19, 2006
June 29, 2006
This morning I weighed in at 194. I stopped by Ross this afternoon and picked up some things without trying them on. I found a really cute sundress in a size 8 and figured I might be overly optimistic to think I'd ever get that small but I bought it with the idea that it might fit someday. When I got home I decided to try it on just to see how far it was from fitting and believe it or not, it zipped up!!!
Here is a picture:
It is really tight but it did zip! I just can't believe it. I don't think I have ever owned a dress with a single digit size before, at least not since puberty.
June 8, 2006
Written from Onederland!!!
This morning the scale read 199.8, I'll take it! I've been sitting at 200.00 for about 3 days and I was beginning to think I would be stuck there forever.
I celebrated with a trip to Ross and bought two new slinky black dresses, sizes 14 and, believe it or not, 12! The 12 is sleeveless which is why it works. My arms are still disproportionately large, mostly due to immense bat wings. It will be cute with a little sweater.
I also got my hair colored and trimmed. I think I like it better but I have noticed that the thinner I get the more I hate my hair. I'm not sure what's up with that.
Anyway, I just wanted to share the news that I finally made it!
May 26, 2006
Here is a recent picture that I am thinking of using for my website and for work.
April 9, 2006
My mother is visiting and I asked her to take my measurements this evening. Here are the results:
Hip (below belly) - 47"
Hip (fattest part) - 49.5
Waist - 38
Bust - 42.5
Upper Arm (r) - 16.5
Wrist - 6.5
Thigh (R) - 26
Thigh (L) - 25
Neck - 14
Here are some new pictures she took too.
I'm not thrilled with the pictures but I guess I look better than I did. Note the hernia, above my belly button, sticking out almost as far as my bust in the side picture.
You can also see my new perm which I got in the hope that it would make my hair look fuller. I think it is working. I am hoping it will calm down a little in the next few days as perms usually do.
March 23, 2006
Today I got my first new bike in 30 years! It is very pretty and super comfy. Here is what it looks like (mine has a pretty wicker basket on the front, a shiny bell and a silver rack on the back).
It is an Electra Townie 21 speed. I am really excited about it. I got to ride it around Greenlake a little today and plan to take it out on the Burke Gilman Trail tomorrow (a really cool bike trial right by my house), possibly pulling the baby trailer (Kate, if you are reading this, thank you for bringing it over and letting us use it!). I might need a little more practice before pulling Alice but we will see.
My friend Naomi came with me to buy it. It was fun having her help me test drive it and good to have support in making such a big decision.
It is so great to be excited about getting out and doing something physical. Six months ago this would have just been too exhausting!
March 2, 2006 (Later than the previous post)
I just took a few new pictures with my phone and even though they are really grainy (or maybe because they are) I really like them. Here they are:
This one is my favorite. It reminds me of pictures that were taken of me back when I was a punk in the late '70s and early '80s.
This one is kind of cool too.
And finally a smile.
I can't believe how much different I look. I think I need to go get a new photo done for work. I use it on my website as well as for flyers and it shows up when I email listings to clients. The photo I've been using for years is at least a decade old and I am not at least 30# slimmer. I guess it is time for a change, yay!
March 2, 2006
This morning I weighed 215. Here is a picture taken February 3, the day before we moved,
We are now living in Fremont, another Seattle neighborhood. I am much happier here and our Capitol Hill house sold very quickly so things are going pretty well.
Here are some pictures of Alice helping me to unpack,
I'm not sure what else to say today. So I'll let the pictures do the talking.
Jan. 18, 2006
This morning I weighed in at 228.5! Things are moving along nicely. I am starting to feel a little funny in my body. My identity is changing. My body image has not yet caught up and I am surprised when I see myself in the mirror.
I joined the Olympic Athletic Club, www.oac.com, last week and am starting to lift weights and stuff. I will be meeting with personal trainer later today! On monday they measured me. Here are my latest measurements,
Calfs:
R. 18.75"
L. 18.25"
Thighs:
R. 27.25"
L. 27"
Hips: 52.5"
Waist: 39"
Naval (belly, abs): 52.5"
Shoulders: 45"
Bust: 44.25"
Biceps (includes batwings):
R. 18"
L.17"
Dec. 28, 2005
I have lost weight over Xmas, wow! Today I weighed in at 238. it has been many years (probably 15-18) since I have been this light.
I went shopping the day after Xmas with Judi, Brian's mother and I was able to shop in the regular section instead of the plus size section for the first time in at least 15 years. I bought two pair of pants, jeans in a regular 18 and dressier pants in a regular 16 as well as two sweaters in XL!
Yesterday I got my hair cut because it is beginning to fall out. I had her do it a shorter than I usually do and put in lots of layers. I really like it. Brian said it reminded him of styles from the '30s. That made my day. Here are a couple of pics,
Dec. 15, 2005
I'm now down 40#. I am doing pretty well but still not as energetic as I was hoping to be.
I wore size 16 jeans yesterday! I started out in size 26 so this is a big drop. XL tops are fitting most of the time too. I went to Value Village and got a bunch of new things to wear because really didn't have any pants that fit anymore.
BT posted recently about a study that Dr. Anthone had done that showed an average loss of 25-30% of excess weight at 3 months post op. I found this encouraging. I am not yet 3 months out but even if I plateaued for the rest of the month I am still pretty much on track for the higher end of my goal range.
I spoke with Myra at the Rabkin's office today and I asked her about this. She said that they used to say one should expect to lose 50% at 6 months but that it really depends on the individual and many factors. Anyway, I am adding this so that when I am 6 months out and can't remember what the formula was I can find it.
November 16, 2005
I've been meaning to post some measurements here so I don't lose them. Unfortunately the first set of measurements Kathy F helped me do back when we were both at Gracewell house didn't survive. A glass of water got set on them and they dissappeared completely.
On 10-29-05 I measured myself again and here are the numbers:
Neck - 15 1/4"
Bust - 48 1/2"
Waist - 43 1/2"
Hip/belly - 59"
Hip below belly - 54"
Left Thigh - 30"
Right Thigh - 30"
Left Calf - 18 3/4"
Right Calf - 19 1/2"
Left forarm - 11"
Right forarm - 11 1/2"
Left Bicep - 18"
Right Bicep -19"
And that's all I measured. I am not sure when I will measure again but just want to make sure I can find these numbers when I do.
November 15, 2005
I've been debating whether to post my "before pictures" because I am wearing my underthings in them but I've decided that they are not too revealing of anything but fat. So, without further ado, here they are, These were taken the night before surgery:
Here are some new ones to compare them to:
I'm not seeing that much difference but my mother says she can.
November 13, 2005
Last night I danced for the first time since surgery. I went to the local Contra Dance here in Port Townsend and I only sat out one dance. So I was actually dancing for almost 3 hours. It was tons of fun. I have been doing this kind of dancing since I was 21 (half my life) and I have really missed it in last couple of years. It was great to feel so light while dancing.
My weight is not moving down as fast as I would like. I was 258 this morning so I am only down 6# so far for month 2. I had hoped to see a more rapid loss at this point. I fear I will be a slow loser and get stuck 50# from goal.
On the other hand, when I was in Seattle last week I got out all my "too small" jeans (24 and 26). Well guess what, they were all too big! So I dragged my friend Elizabeth to Macy's and ended up buying a pair of lovely green jeans in SIZE 18! I have never had any size 18 pants before because was a skirts only girl when I passed this size on the way up.
So I must be getting smaller but the scale sure isn't showing it.
Here is one of my new favorite pictures of Alice (I'm posting it as a test to see how I can get pics into my profile):
November 5, 2005
I think my energy is returning! I am in Seattle today and I am really excited to be in the city. I've been recovering in Port Townsend since I got back to WA and I am getting really tired of rural living. It is really beautiful there but I miss so many things about the city, especially Brian!
I have lost 25# so far and I hope the plateau I've been on for the past few weeks if over since I've had a four pound loss this week. I can eat almost anything now. Last night I made good work of a 6 oz. steak and I would love another right now. When the baby gets up we will take her out for some dinner. I'm leaning toward Thai food, yum! There is not enough protein in this house, we'll have to go to the market too.
Yesterday I got to go through my mother's closet and borrow anything I wanted. I got some nice tops but she buys her pants in petites which are too short for me. They fit in other ways though! I have now found several 1X tops that fit pretty well. and my size 22 capris (my skinny pants) fit perfectly! My rings are falling off and I had to tighten my watch band today. I guess it's really happening.
In other news, we are planning a local move in the beginning of the year. It will be a ton of work but in the end we will be living in a more baby friendly neighborhood that is still close to downtown and having a much smaller mortgage payment. I'm still in the excited phase. I'm sure panic will set in as the time looms closer.
October 6, 2005
Today I weighed myself and I am down 12# from surgery day and 13 from the day I left the hospital. I suspected as much because I have been offloading water like crazy (don't worry I'm adding plenty back in too).
So far I am recovering very well. I even got to go out for Thai food with my lovely angel Alison! I managed very well eating half an egg roll quite a bit of soup including some chicken and some muchrooms and then three big shrimp. The whole meal seems to have sat well. Seeing Alison again was a blast! It really perked me up.
Tonight my parents came over with Alice for dinner and to hang out for a while. Alice seems to be coming round. I showed her my "owies" and she seemed to get the point. After that she was pretty careful of my tummy.
I realized I had forgotten to take measurements prior to surgery so I got some today with the help of Kathy F, who is also staying here. I know they would have been different a week ago but at least this will give me something to compare later.
Overall, I have to say that I am pretty happy! Things seem to be moving along as planned and even a little faster. I did have a problem with coughing last night that kept me up much of the night but tonight I have been instructed to take benedril so I am hoping that will fix that problem. It seems to be caused by postnasal drip not anything scary in the lung.
I hope everyone is doing well out there! I think of you guys all of the time.
As you can see, I am alive and well. The surgery went very well and I am happily recovering at Gracewell House in Moountain View, Ca. I'll try to post my surgery story soon. I'm not sure how much typing I am up to tonight though.
September 26, 2005
Well, here I am in Hawaii. I leave tomorrow morning for San Francisco. Tomorrow will be spent mostly on airplanes. I am flying alone with my daughter, Alice, who is almost 21 months old now. We arrive at 9 pm and will be met by Brian's mom who arrives there a little earlier. The next morning I go to the hospital for my tests and stuff and then see Dr. Rabkin again in the early afternoon. Then on Thursday, it is clear liquids and bowel prep time. Friday morning I have to be in the hospital at 6 am.
I am starting to get really emotional. Today I had to say goodbye to Brian since he flew back to Seattle this morning. I will not be seeing him again before surgery. I ended up crying some. I cryed yesterday too. I don't think this is a bad thing.
Hawaii has been really nice although it is way too hot for me unless I am in the water. The ocean has always been special to me and getting to spend time in the sea has really helped me get ready.
I'm scared but not scared enough to run away. I am looking forward to meeting Kathy and Sufia who are both having surgery with Dr. Rabkin the same week I am. It helps to know they will be there too.
August 30, 2005
It looks like I have a date! I spoke with Megan at Dr. Rabkin's office today and I asked her about the possibility of having a myomectomy (fibriod removal) done at the same time as the DS and it turned out to be a brilliant idea because insurance will pay of the myomectomy. That means I just have to pay for the DS surgeon's fee. Everything else should be covered.
I've decided to go ahead and self pay for the portion that won't be covered and then try to get my insurance to reimburse me later.
The date we are talking about is Sept. 30, 2005. That is the day that the myomectomy surgeon is available so now we need to see if Dr. Rabkin can do it. Megan thinks he can even though there is someone already scheduled for that date because she knows that person wants to go earlier and she thinks that will be possible. So not only am I getting do I get a date but I get to help someone else get their surgery sooner.
I just got email from my astrologer telling me the date looks good. I find this very comforting and it gives me courage.
The hardest part will be the logistics. I will be getting back to Seattle from my brother's wedding in Hawaii on the 26th. The next day I will need to fly to SF for my pre-surgery appointments. I will bring Alice with me. I am hoping Brian's mother, Judi can come with us too. My parents will drive down to SF from WA and hopefully will get there before the actual surgery. They will be staying with friends there and will take care of Alice while I am in the hospital. This way they can bring her to see me.
Brian might be able to come down for the weekend to see me but I don't know if that will work or not. He doesn't have any vacation left so I don't think he will be able to be there for the surgery itself.
There is a local teenage girl who has agreed to stay with me as an au pair when I get back to WA. I think this will work out pretty well since I will need help with Alice for at least the first 8 weeks.
I am thrilled that by the end of the year I should be well on my way to losing the weight and I am sure I will feel much better. Just getting rid of the fibroids will be wonderful. I dread Aunt Flo's visits these days. It will be good to get that back to normal.
July 9, 2005
Today I finally managed to get all of my paperwork together and mailed off to the Rabkins at Pacific Laparoscopy. I hope I get an appointment soon!
I've also put together my paperwork to send to Gary. I just need to cart it to the post office or Fed Ex.
Now it is bed time so I must go.
June 21st, 2005
Happy Solstice everyone!
I just got off the phone with Berlin at Dr. Lauter's office. She was able to tell me that she sent my paperwork to Aetna and I have been denied. This is not a huge surprise. They are not accepting my physician suppervised diabetes diet and exercise program. Luckily, I have already started working with my PCP on getting this out of the way so I already have a couple of months done.
June 17, 2005
I had my endoscopy today. It turns out I have a hiatus hernia, they even gave me pictures. Other than that things looked good, no current ulcers.
I was kind of hoping this would give me a definite answer as to which surgery to get but ruling out RNY but it seems nothing has really changed. I am pretty sure that I would rather have the DS at this point but I am not sure if Aetna will go for it.
I have been to the seminar at OHSU and although I found the seminar unpleasantly rushed and condescending I have called them and set up an appointment for July 11 to meet with the bariatric nurse there to talk about DS.
In the mean time I think Dr. Lauter's office may have sent in my insurance request for RNY. I guess that is good either way since I hear it is easier to get approval for DS if they have already approved another WLS.
My understanding is that no matter which surgery I get they will be able to fix the hernia at the same time. It will be wonderful not to have constant reflux for the first time in my life!
June 2, 2005
I've been reading the "Complete Guide to Obesity Surgery" and it has made me realize that with my lifelong history of ulcers and excess stomach acid the only surgery that makes sense is the DS, which as I understand it was originally used to treat ulcers.
I know it is the most risky surgery I could choose but for some reason I am not nearly as frightened by it as I am by the RNY.
I just sat down with my astrologer (I am an astrologer myself but like to get a less biased opinion) and had him look at DS as a possibility for me. It looks good! He even thinks the insurance hurdles shouldn't be too bad.
I am considering asking for a longer common channel than most maybe 120-150cm. I don't need to the thinnest person around and I want to be sure I get enough nutrition.
Dr. Lauter does not do the DS although he says he has considered it. I would probably have to go to OHSU to get it done lap. I am going to go to an informational seminar there on June 13. Hopefully I will learn alot.
Well, the baby is awake so I had better get going.
May 16, 2005
I had my psych eval today. I was assured that I am not crazy and that I should be a good candidate once I make up my mind which surgery I want.
That's right, I am having doubts about RNY and thinking maybe I want the Lapband instead. It looks like both are covered by my insurance, although they rank the RNY above Lapband in their preferences, saying the lapband should be used where RNY is contraindicated.
The surgeon I want to use does not do Lapband so I would have to try someone else.
The main reason I am thinking about going with the Lapband is the lower surgical risk and the adjustability of it. I am so afraid of having a complication that might keep me in the hospital for months, like some of the people I met in the support group. If that happened it would be terrible for my daughter. She is too young to understand something like that.
I like the idea that if, as the years go by, the weight starts to creep back up, I could go in for a fill and get back on board. I like the idea that if science comes up with a better treatment for obesity than what we now have I could have the band removed and go with the newer treatment. I like the fact that if I fell pregnant again I could get unfilled and then get filled up again after giving birth. Not to mention the fact that I really like the idea of keeping my digestive tract intact.
I know that I probably wouldn't lose as much weight with the band as I would with RNY, and certainly not as fast but as long as I could get to a BMI under 30 I think I would be happy. Of course it would be great to get to 24 and be "normal" but I think I'd be okay with just being healthier and I think the band could help me do that.
I'm going to go check out a LapBand support group on the 23rd and see how people who have had the procedure are doing. I need to gather information before I can make an informed decision about this.
May 2, 2005
Since I last posted I have met with Dr. Lauter a second time and also seen the nutritionist. Between them I feel like all of my questions have been answered. I am really ready to move forward with this.
Sadly, it turns out that the Polyclinic, where all of my doctors are, did not send all of my records over as I asked them to. In fact they merely sent about 5 pages. My file there is at least two inches thick. They sent only records from my PCP and nothing from my OB or Endocrinologist. So I had to call them and complain. They say they are going to get it together and send the rest over asap. I'll believe that when I see it though.
My mother is a lawyer and she says she can write something up that I can take over there and that they will have no choice but to give me my whole file. I may take her up on that.
It looks like I will need to get the records from my old HMO too since that is where I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. They also want records for 5 years and I was there until the beginning of 2003.
The insurance person at my surgeon's office says she thinks my insurer will insist on my doing a 6 month supervised diet and exercise program. When I called them they said that was not a requirment but she says that has been her experience with Aetna. I am hoping that they will accept the diabetes diet program I was on for my entire pregnancy, from May of 2003 through January of 2004.
If I can get approved, Dr. Lauter says he can schedule me about a month later.
I hope we can get this going soon because my brother is getting married in Hawaii at the end of September. So I think I will have to have the surgery by the beginning of August if I am to do it before the wedding. Otherwise it will have to wait til after the wedding. I am hoping that if I have it soon enough I will be comfortable enough with food to be able to handle a week in strange place.
That is about all for now.
First entry, not sure of the date
This is happening very quickly for me. In March I attended a family reunion. I saw my cousin's wife there for the first time since her RNY four years ago. Up until the moment I saw her I had not considered surgery at all. But seeing her looking so healthy and strong I knew I had to look into it.
The day after I got back I saw my PCP to ask about WLS. To my suprise, she was all for it and gave me the names of some surgeons.
To make a long story short, I met with Dr. Lauter yesterday and this morning I called my insurance company and was told that RNY is a covered benifit and Dr. Lauter is a preferred provider. It looks like this is something that can happen.
I am a little frightened. I think I thought it would be harder to get the insurance to say yes and I would have time to adjust to the idea. Intellectually I know this is the right thing for me to do but it feels so drastic and permanant.
I have a 15 month old daughter and I want to be able to participate in her life more than I will be able to in my current condition. She is probably my biggest motivation. But she is also the source of my greatest fear, I simply can't stand the thought that I might die and leave her alone. I know it is very unlikely that I would die in surgery and it is probable that I will be able to live a longer and healthier life if I go ahead. I guess the bottom line is, I just have to have faith and trust my surgeon and care givers.
This morning I weighed in at 194. I stopped by Ross this afternoon and picked up some things without trying them on. I found a really cute sundress in a size 8 and figured I might be overly optimistic to think I'd ever get that small but I bought it with the idea that it might fit someday. When I got home I decided to try it on just to see how far it was from fitting and believe it or not, it zipped up!!!
Here is a picture:
It is really tight but it did zip! I just can't believe it. I don't think I have ever owned a dress with a single digit size before, at least not since puberty.
June 8, 2006
Written from Onederland!!!
This morning the scale read 199.8, I'll take it! I've been sitting at 200.00 for about 3 days and I was beginning to think I would be stuck there forever.
I celebrated with a trip to Ross and bought two new slinky black dresses, sizes 14 and, believe it or not, 12! The 12 is sleeveless which is why it works. My arms are still disproportionately large, mostly due to immense bat wings. It will be cute with a little sweater.
I also got my hair colored and trimmed. I think I like it better but I have noticed that the thinner I get the more I hate my hair. I'm not sure what's up with that.
Anyway, I just wanted to share the news that I finally made it!
May 26, 2006
Here is a recent picture that I am thinking of using for my website and for work.
April 9, 2006
My mother is visiting and I asked her to take my measurements this evening. Here are the results:
Hip (below belly) - 47"
Hip (fattest part) - 49.5
Waist - 38
Bust - 42.5
Upper Arm (r) - 16.5
Wrist - 6.5
Thigh (R) - 26
Thigh (L) - 25
Neck - 14
Here are some new pictures she took too.
I'm not thrilled with the pictures but I guess I look better than I did. Note the hernia, above my belly button, sticking out almost as far as my bust in the side picture.
You can also see my new perm which I got in the hope that it would make my hair look fuller. I think it is working. I am hoping it will calm down a little in the next few days as perms usually do.
March 23, 2006
Today I got my first new bike in 30 years! It is very pretty and super comfy. Here is what it looks like (mine has a pretty wicker basket on the front, a shiny bell and a silver rack on the back).
It is an Electra Townie 21 speed. I am really excited about it. I got to ride it around Greenlake a little today and plan to take it out on the Burke Gilman Trail tomorrow (a really cool bike trial right by my house), possibly pulling the baby trailer (Kate, if you are reading this, thank you for bringing it over and letting us use it!). I might need a little more practice before pulling Alice but we will see.
My friend Naomi came with me to buy it. It was fun having her help me test drive it and good to have support in making such a big decision.
It is so great to be excited about getting out and doing something physical. Six months ago this would have just been too exhausting!
March 2, 2006 (Later than the previous post)
I just took a few new pictures with my phone and even though they are really grainy (or maybe because they are) I really like them. Here they are:
This one is my favorite. It reminds me of pictures that were taken of me back when I was a punk in the late '70s and early '80s.
This one is kind of cool too.
And finally a smile.
I can't believe how much different I look. I think I need to go get a new photo done for work. I use it on my website as well as for flyers and it shows up when I email listings to clients. The photo I've been using for years is at least a decade old and I am not at least 30# slimmer. I guess it is time for a change, yay!
March 2, 2006
This morning I weighed 215. Here is a picture taken February 3, the day before we moved,
We are now living in Fremont, another Seattle neighborhood. I am much happier here and our Capitol Hill house sold very quickly so things are going pretty well.
Here are some pictures of Alice helping me to unpack,
I'm not sure what else to say today. So I'll let the pictures do the talking.
Jan. 18, 2006
This morning I weighed in at 228.5! Things are moving along nicely. I am starting to feel a little funny in my body. My identity is changing. My body image has not yet caught up and I am surprised when I see myself in the mirror.
I joined the Olympic Athletic Club, www.oac.com, last week and am starting to lift weights and stuff. I will be meeting with personal trainer later today! On monday they measured me. Here are my latest measurements,
Calfs:
R. 18.75"
L. 18.25"
Thighs:
R. 27.25"
L. 27"
Hips: 52.5"
Waist: 39"
Naval (belly, abs): 52.5"
Shoulders: 45"
Bust: 44.25"
Biceps (includes batwings):
R. 18"
L.17"
Dec. 28, 2005
I have lost weight over Xmas, wow! Today I weighed in at 238. it has been many years (probably 15-18) since I have been this light.
I went shopping the day after Xmas with Judi, Brian's mother and I was able to shop in the regular section instead of the plus size section for the first time in at least 15 years. I bought two pair of pants, jeans in a regular 18 and dressier pants in a regular 16 as well as two sweaters in XL!
Yesterday I got my hair cut because it is beginning to fall out. I had her do it a shorter than I usually do and put in lots of layers. I really like it. Brian said it reminded him of styles from the '30s. That made my day. Here are a couple of pics,
Dec. 15, 2005
I'm now down 40#. I am doing pretty well but still not as energetic as I was hoping to be.
I wore size 16 jeans yesterday! I started out in size 26 so this is a big drop. XL tops are fitting most of the time too. I went to Value Village and got a bunch of new things to wear because really didn't have any pants that fit anymore.
BT posted recently about a study that Dr. Anthone had done that showed an average loss of 25-30% of excess weight at 3 months post op. I found this encouraging. I am not yet 3 months out but even if I plateaued for the rest of the month I am still pretty much on track for the higher end of my goal range.
I spoke with Myra at the Rabkin's office today and I asked her about this. She said that they used to say one should expect to lose 50% at 6 months but that it really depends on the individual and many factors. Anyway, I am adding this so that when I am 6 months out and can't remember what the formula was I can find it.
November 16, 2005
I've been meaning to post some measurements here so I don't lose them. Unfortunately the first set of measurements Kathy F helped me do back when we were both at Gracewell house didn't survive. A glass of water got set on them and they dissappeared completely.
On 10-29-05 I measured myself again and here are the numbers:
Neck - 15 1/4"
Bust - 48 1/2"
Waist - 43 1/2"
Hip/belly - 59"
Hip below belly - 54"
Left Thigh - 30"
Right Thigh - 30"
Left Calf - 18 3/4"
Right Calf - 19 1/2"
Left forarm - 11"
Right forarm - 11 1/2"
Left Bicep - 18"
Right Bicep -19"
And that's all I measured. I am not sure when I will measure again but just want to make sure I can find these numbers when I do.
November 15, 2005
I've been debating whether to post my "before pictures" because I am wearing my underthings in them but I've decided that they are not too revealing of anything but fat. So, without further ado, here they are, These were taken the night before surgery:
Here are some new ones to compare them to:
I'm not seeing that much difference but my mother says she can.
November 13, 2005
Last night I danced for the first time since surgery. I went to the local Contra Dance here in Port Townsend and I only sat out one dance. So I was actually dancing for almost 3 hours. It was tons of fun. I have been doing this kind of dancing since I was 21 (half my life) and I have really missed it in last couple of years. It was great to feel so light while dancing.
My weight is not moving down as fast as I would like. I was 258 this morning so I am only down 6# so far for month 2. I had hoped to see a more rapid loss at this point. I fear I will be a slow loser and get stuck 50# from goal.
On the other hand, when I was in Seattle last week I got out all my "too small" jeans (24 and 26). Well guess what, they were all too big! So I dragged my friend Elizabeth to Macy's and ended up buying a pair of lovely green jeans in SIZE 18! I have never had any size 18 pants before because was a skirts only girl when I passed this size on the way up.
So I must be getting smaller but the scale sure isn't showing it.
Here is one of my new favorite pictures of Alice (I'm posting it as a test to see how I can get pics into my profile):
November 5, 2005
I think my energy is returning! I am in Seattle today and I am really excited to be in the city. I've been recovering in Port Townsend since I got back to WA and I am getting really tired of rural living. It is really beautiful there but I miss so many things about the city, especially Brian!
I have lost 25# so far and I hope the plateau I've been on for the past few weeks if over since I've had a four pound loss this week. I can eat almost anything now. Last night I made good work of a 6 oz. steak and I would love another right now. When the baby gets up we will take her out for some dinner. I'm leaning toward Thai food, yum! There is not enough protein in this house, we'll have to go to the market too.
Yesterday I got to go through my mother's closet and borrow anything I wanted. I got some nice tops but she buys her pants in petites which are too short for me. They fit in other ways though! I have now found several 1X tops that fit pretty well. and my size 22 capris (my skinny pants) fit perfectly! My rings are falling off and I had to tighten my watch band today. I guess it's really happening.
In other news, we are planning a local move in the beginning of the year. It will be a ton of work but in the end we will be living in a more baby friendly neighborhood that is still close to downtown and having a much smaller mortgage payment. I'm still in the excited phase. I'm sure panic will set in as the time looms closer.
October 6, 2005
Today I weighed myself and I am down 12# from surgery day and 13 from the day I left the hospital. I suspected as much because I have been offloading water like crazy (don't worry I'm adding plenty back in too).
So far I am recovering very well. I even got to go out for Thai food with my lovely angel Alison! I managed very well eating half an egg roll quite a bit of soup including some chicken and some muchrooms and then three big shrimp. The whole meal seems to have sat well. Seeing Alison again was a blast! It really perked me up.
Tonight my parents came over with Alice for dinner and to hang out for a while. Alice seems to be coming round. I showed her my "owies" and she seemed to get the point. After that she was pretty careful of my tummy.
I realized I had forgotten to take measurements prior to surgery so I got some today with the help of Kathy F, who is also staying here. I know they would have been different a week ago but at least this will give me something to compare later.
Overall, I have to say that I am pretty happy! Things seem to be moving along as planned and even a little faster. I did have a problem with coughing last night that kept me up much of the night but tonight I have been instructed to take benedril so I am hoping that will fix that problem. It seems to be caused by postnasal drip not anything scary in the lung.
I hope everyone is doing well out there! I think of you guys all of the time.
As you can see, I am alive and well. The surgery went very well and I am happily recovering at Gracewell House in Moountain View, Ca. I'll try to post my surgery story soon. I'm not sure how much typing I am up to tonight though.
September 26, 2005
Well, here I am in Hawaii. I leave tomorrow morning for San Francisco. Tomorrow will be spent mostly on airplanes. I am flying alone with my daughter, Alice, who is almost 21 months old now. We arrive at 9 pm and will be met by Brian's mom who arrives there a little earlier. The next morning I go to the hospital for my tests and stuff and then see Dr. Rabkin again in the early afternoon. Then on Thursday, it is clear liquids and bowel prep time. Friday morning I have to be in the hospital at 6 am.
I am starting to get really emotional. Today I had to say goodbye to Brian since he flew back to Seattle this morning. I will not be seeing him again before surgery. I ended up crying some. I cryed yesterday too. I don't think this is a bad thing.
Hawaii has been really nice although it is way too hot for me unless I am in the water. The ocean has always been special to me and getting to spend time in the sea has really helped me get ready.
I'm scared but not scared enough to run away. I am looking forward to meeting Kathy and Sufia who are both having surgery with Dr. Rabkin the same week I am. It helps to know they will be there too.
August 30, 2005
It looks like I have a date! I spoke with Megan at Dr. Rabkin's office today and I asked her about the possibility of having a myomectomy (fibriod removal) done at the same time as the DS and it turned out to be a brilliant idea because insurance will pay of the myomectomy. That means I just have to pay for the DS surgeon's fee. Everything else should be covered.
I've decided to go ahead and self pay for the portion that won't be covered and then try to get my insurance to reimburse me later.
The date we are talking about is Sept. 30, 2005. That is the day that the myomectomy surgeon is available so now we need to see if Dr. Rabkin can do it. Megan thinks he can even though there is someone already scheduled for that date because she knows that person wants to go earlier and she thinks that will be possible. So not only am I getting do I get a date but I get to help someone else get their surgery sooner.
I just got email from my astrologer telling me the date looks good. I find this very comforting and it gives me courage.
The hardest part will be the logistics. I will be getting back to Seattle from my brother's wedding in Hawaii on the 26th. The next day I will need to fly to SF for my pre-surgery appointments. I will bring Alice with me. I am hoping Brian's mother, Judi can come with us too. My parents will drive down to SF from WA and hopefully will get there before the actual surgery. They will be staying with friends there and will take care of Alice while I am in the hospital. This way they can bring her to see me.
Brian might be able to come down for the weekend to see me but I don't know if that will work or not. He doesn't have any vacation left so I don't think he will be able to be there for the surgery itself.
There is a local teenage girl who has agreed to stay with me as an au pair when I get back to WA. I think this will work out pretty well since I will need help with Alice for at least the first 8 weeks.
I am thrilled that by the end of the year I should be well on my way to losing the weight and I am sure I will feel much better. Just getting rid of the fibroids will be wonderful. I dread Aunt Flo's visits these days. It will be good to get that back to normal.
July 9, 2005
Today I finally managed to get all of my paperwork together and mailed off to the Rabkins at Pacific Laparoscopy. I hope I get an appointment soon!
I've also put together my paperwork to send to Gary. I just need to cart it to the post office or Fed Ex.
Now it is bed time so I must go.
June 21st, 2005
Happy Solstice everyone!
I just got off the phone with Berlin at Dr. Lauter's office. She was able to tell me that she sent my paperwork to Aetna and I have been denied. This is not a huge surprise. They are not accepting my physician suppervised diabetes diet and exercise program. Luckily, I have already started working with my PCP on getting this out of the way so I already have a couple of months done.
June 17, 2005
I had my endoscopy today. It turns out I have a hiatus hernia, they even gave me pictures. Other than that things looked good, no current ulcers.
I was kind of hoping this would give me a definite answer as to which surgery to get but ruling out RNY but it seems nothing has really changed. I am pretty sure that I would rather have the DS at this point but I am not sure if Aetna will go for it.
I have been to the seminar at OHSU and although I found the seminar unpleasantly rushed and condescending I have called them and set up an appointment for July 11 to meet with the bariatric nurse there to talk about DS.
In the mean time I think Dr. Lauter's office may have sent in my insurance request for RNY. I guess that is good either way since I hear it is easier to get approval for DS if they have already approved another WLS.
My understanding is that no matter which surgery I get they will be able to fix the hernia at the same time. It will be wonderful not to have constant reflux for the first time in my life!
June 2, 2005
I've been reading the "Complete Guide to Obesity Surgery" and it has made me realize that with my lifelong history of ulcers and excess stomach acid the only surgery that makes sense is the DS, which as I understand it was originally used to treat ulcers.
I know it is the most risky surgery I could choose but for some reason I am not nearly as frightened by it as I am by the RNY.
I just sat down with my astrologer (I am an astrologer myself but like to get a less biased opinion) and had him look at DS as a possibility for me. It looks good! He even thinks the insurance hurdles shouldn't be too bad.
I am considering asking for a longer common channel than most maybe 120-150cm. I don't need to the thinnest person around and I want to be sure I get enough nutrition.
Dr. Lauter does not do the DS although he says he has considered it. I would probably have to go to OHSU to get it done lap. I am going to go to an informational seminar there on June 13. Hopefully I will learn alot.
Well, the baby is awake so I had better get going.
May 16, 2005
I had my psych eval today. I was assured that I am not crazy and that I should be a good candidate once I make up my mind which surgery I want.
That's right, I am having doubts about RNY and thinking maybe I want the Lapband instead. It looks like both are covered by my insurance, although they rank the RNY above Lapband in their preferences, saying the lapband should be used where RNY is contraindicated.
The surgeon I want to use does not do Lapband so I would have to try someone else.
The main reason I am thinking about going with the Lapband is the lower surgical risk and the adjustability of it. I am so afraid of having a complication that might keep me in the hospital for months, like some of the people I met in the support group. If that happened it would be terrible for my daughter. She is too young to understand something like that.
I like the idea that if, as the years go by, the weight starts to creep back up, I could go in for a fill and get back on board. I like the idea that if science comes up with a better treatment for obesity than what we now have I could have the band removed and go with the newer treatment. I like the fact that if I fell pregnant again I could get unfilled and then get filled up again after giving birth. Not to mention the fact that I really like the idea of keeping my digestive tract intact.
I know that I probably wouldn't lose as much weight with the band as I would with RNY, and certainly not as fast but as long as I could get to a BMI under 30 I think I would be happy. Of course it would be great to get to 24 and be "normal" but I think I'd be okay with just being healthier and I think the band could help me do that.
I'm going to go check out a LapBand support group on the 23rd and see how people who have had the procedure are doing. I need to gather information before I can make an informed decision about this.
May 2, 2005
Since I last posted I have met with Dr. Lauter a second time and also seen the nutritionist. Between them I feel like all of my questions have been answered. I am really ready to move forward with this.
Sadly, it turns out that the Polyclinic, where all of my doctors are, did not send all of my records over as I asked them to. In fact they merely sent about 5 pages. My file there is at least two inches thick. They sent only records from my PCP and nothing from my OB or Endocrinologist. So I had to call them and complain. They say they are going to get it together and send the rest over asap. I'll believe that when I see it though.
My mother is a lawyer and she says she can write something up that I can take over there and that they will have no choice but to give me my whole file. I may take her up on that.
It looks like I will need to get the records from my old HMO too since that is where I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. They also want records for 5 years and I was there until the beginning of 2003.
The insurance person at my surgeon's office says she thinks my insurer will insist on my doing a 6 month supervised diet and exercise program. When I called them they said that was not a requirment but she says that has been her experience with Aetna. I am hoping that they will accept the diabetes diet program I was on for my entire pregnancy, from May of 2003 through January of 2004.
If I can get approved, Dr. Lauter says he can schedule me about a month later.
I hope we can get this going soon because my brother is getting married in Hawaii at the end of September. So I think I will have to have the surgery by the beginning of August if I am to do it before the wedding. Otherwise it will have to wait til after the wedding. I am hoping that if I have it soon enough I will be comfortable enough with food to be able to handle a week in strange place.
That is about all for now.
First entry, not sure of the date
This is happening very quickly for me. In March I attended a family reunion. I saw my cousin's wife there for the first time since her RNY four years ago. Up until the moment I saw her I had not considered surgery at all. But seeing her looking so healthy and strong I knew I had to look into it.
The day after I got back I saw my PCP to ask about WLS. To my suprise, she was all for it and gave me the names of some surgeons.
To make a long story short, I met with Dr. Lauter yesterday and this morning I called my insurance company and was told that RNY is a covered benifit and Dr. Lauter is a preferred provider. It looks like this is something that can happen.
I am a little frightened. I think I thought it would be harder to get the insurance to say yes and I would have time to adjust to the idea. Intellectually I know this is the right thing for me to do but it feels so drastic and permanant.
I have a 15 month old daughter and I want to be able to participate in her life more than I will be able to in my current condition. She is probably my biggest motivation. But she is also the source of my greatest fear, I simply can't stand the thought that I might die and leave her alone. I know it is very unlikely that I would die in surgery and it is probable that I will be able to live a longer and healthier life if I go ahead. I guess the bottom line is, I just have to have faith and trust my surgeon and care givers.
About Me
Seattle, WA
Location
28.0
BMI
Surgery
09/30/2005
Surgery Date
Apr 08, 2005
Member Since
