The Beginning of the Journey

Jan 09, 2012

I have some catching up to do because I joined OH after I already had my surgery. So here is the story about the surgery and recovery.

In the days leading up to the surgery, I was determined not to think too much about it. Maybe if I thought too much, I would chicken out. I still wasn't completely convinved it was the only option or the best option for me. I wanted to join the Biggest Loser (but I wasn't big enough) or join a boot camp, or heck, join the military (I'm too old for that now) Or I didn't want to do anything, just the same as I was. I can live a fulfilling life how I was, I just needed the right attitude.
Anyway, since the surgery was so important to my husband and if I was honest with myself it was kinda critical for me, I decided to do it.

It was the day before surgery and I think my boss was more nervous than I was. I think he was afraid I wouldn't make it back to help with inventory. I knew I was pushing it having the procedure so close to the end of the year, but it was a miracle I was even able to get it by the end of the year so I didn't have to pay my full deductable again. As I went to the hospital I was cool and collected. My husband asked me if I'm nervous, no I wasn't. It was as if I was just going for a check up. It wasn't until I was in Pre-op laying on the bed just waiting for my turn that I started feeling nervous. My irrational "fat-thinking" part of my brain started to panic. What the heck am I doing?!? Why am I doing this?!?  I needed to be reminded of my reasons I had to choose what I'm doing. I needed to hear that I've tried dieting all my life and I have never gotten the body I loved. If I don't do something drastic soon I'd end up like my mom and not be able to walk up stairs at age 60. Instead my beloved husband said, "Can we get her sedated?!" LOL. I really kind of felt the same way. Lets just get it over with.

Eventually, my turn came and next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery. When I finally remembered what was going on, the first thing that came to my head. "Well, Its done. There's no turning back now." I felt the "fat-thinking" part of my brain deflate in defeat. The goal now is to recover as quickly as possible. And my back hurt so bad like I have been sitting in an uncomfortable chair all day. I needed to roll over and curl up or sit up and stretch my back but I couldn't. When they got me to my room I managed to roll on my left side and kind of curl up. I took a nap and felt better.

I was very glad that my nurse for that day was Nurse Craig. He was my husbands nurse 4 months earlier He is so friendly and was excited for us. He talked about his wife and we all talked about our cats. It was as if we knew him for years. So when I saw that he was my nurse I was elated. So glad i didn't get a grouchy or indifferent nurse. In fact all the nurses that helped me the three days I was there were all very good.

They helped out of the bed when it was time for my walk and actually that was the only time I needed help. I was determined to do as much on my own as I could. But I still was cautious of not pushing myself too much. I wanted to heal fast not make things worse. My goal was to able to go back to work (my desk job) in one week. I didn't want to be a wuss.  

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