Mshellpol

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I went to my 4 week check-up yesterday. I was kind of upset with my weight loss...only 19 pounds lost since surgery date.*27 pounds since my pre-op day on July* Maybe I need to really watch the calories. I need to get down and dirty with the fats and calories!!! Monday I plan of tracking EVERYTHING I eat and drink. I tried that yesterday evening just for practice...there's alot to that. I had a few questions: Pea soup made me barf (it couldv'e been because I tasted some chicken-n-dumplin broth before eating the pea soup), the full filling I get when I begin eating(*note to self- take smaller bites when beginning to eat*), the vein thing (thrombosis-but better now) the iv was placed in a valve in my vein that was damaged a little. Was told I could advance to the next week in our diet plan that includes tuna, moist fish, and fine/moist ground beef. Yumm!
They told me I was on track with the weight, but ARGGG I was hoping to shock myself again. I guess 252 isn't chump change. I need to start thinking of having goals now.
Been walking(power walking type) almost every morning and/or night for anywhere from 25-50 minutes .70-1.5 miles. I feel really good about doing that and getting the kids involved with it.
I can't say it enough= I FEEL LIKE I NEVER HAD SURGERY!! I have been blessed with a great recovery and I thank God everyday for that.

I am getting better... with the food issues. I can now eat soups, instead of that nasty broth, and I love mushroom soup. I weighed myself over the weekend and my weight is now 258! I meausured myself and I lost 2 inches off of my breasts, waist, and hips!! I lost half an inch from my neck. Was my neck that fat?? That's crazy? Since I can eat more stuff: potatoes, soups, cottage cheese, cheeses, cream of wheat, and scrambled eggs things are a little bit smoother. I found a protein drink I can tolerate: Slim Fast Low Carb. It has 20 g of protein in a full can but I make sure I drink on most of the morning.  I think I am going to order some unjury to help with the protein before it gets too low. 

I am happier (and getting thinner) than I was just several days ago. If I didn't have the scars, and have to eat like a bird, I wouldn't even think I had this surgery because I feel so well.

Staying positive...

Yesterday I went to get my staples and drain out. My weight was 260!!! I haven't seen that since I don't know when. That really boosted my spirits! This weekend was such a bad weekend. I was really regreting the decision to have this surgery. I wanted to eat. Monday was alot better and it seems to get better everyday. I feel good. Just a little pain, but last night I didn't have to take pain meds... to even sleep. I slept on my drain side and it didn't hurt that bad! 
My motto is: stay positive!! Think happy thoughts and stay positive. 

THIS IS HARD!! I can't back out of this diet. This is what I needed, but God help me with this.

Wednesday morning I got to the surgery checkin. They weighed me (I lost 8 pounds since July 13) and checked my bp. They started my IV and gave me a stomach medicine and heparin to help with the blood clotting. The anethesist came in, Dr. DelaTorre came in and then they brought me back to the OR. The nurses explained everything they were doing while they hooked me up to everything. I don't even remember going to sleep or getting sleepy.
I woke up in the recovery room and I was sore, a little burning in my tummy area. I kept waking up for a minute and then going back to sleep. Apparently they took me to my room sometime around 1:30 or 2:00 my husband said. I would wake up for a couple of minutes talk to my husband and then go back to sleep. The nurses explained the Morphine pump to me so I would try to push that as many times as I could remember when I was awake to keep the pain from getting too bad. I started staying awake a little longer around 7 or 8, but the pain pump made me really woozy. The nurse told me that night I should get up and go for a little walk so around 11pm I told her I would get up and walk. That felt good to get out of bed. 
Thursday
around 9 they came to get me for my test for leaks in the xray. That stuff didnt taste as bad as so many people have let on... When I got back to my room the nurse let me know that I passed that test so I will get to do the ice chip test. The ice felt good crunching in my mouth. I kept watching my drain to see any blue, but no blue!! About an hour later the nurse gave me the cafeteria paper and told me what I could order. I was given the go ahead to order my "food". I was scared at first so I just drank a half ounce at a time. I got my catheter out and was cleared to walk the halls!! Yeah! The rest of Thursday just consisted me sipping and charting what I drank, the nurses checking my glucose and vitals, and peeing and walking. Friday I was told I could go home and I left around 12:30-1:00. 
Friday night I woke up because I caught myself sleeping on my stomach-my favorite sleeping position- and I was suprised it didn't even hurt. It might have helped me drain more fluid because when I got up I had 90cc of fluid in my drain just from through the night.

I can only get in 3-5 ounces of fluid per hour. I am still keeping track of everything that is coming in and the drain coming out for the doctor's office. I get hiccups when I drink 2 ounces too close together.

I woke up at 1am this morning. I was having dreams of water, protein, and vitamins. SERIOUSLY!! I have read posts on here that they feel their surgery date is like Christmas morning to them- I understand completely. I woke up in a daze and went potty and thought to myself "Visions of vitamins danced in her head". I had to come and  type on my profile before I forgot that. I thought it was funny.

This week is going to be a blur. Back to school night, first day of school, little Curt's party, and then my surgery. I dreamt of organizing those things in order too. Sort of like checking them off in my head while I slept.

I have been taking my centrum vitamin and zoloft on time everyday to try to get used of the routine of the medicines. I have been drinking at least 44-52 ounces of liquid (crystal lite) a day. I can't wait to get my bariatric vitamins tso I can begin all of them. I have been doind a semi liquid diet. I have a small snack during the day and then I have supper, but all else is either water, crystal lite, skim milk, or protein. 

Curtis has been nervous. That's why he doesn't talk about all of this stuff. He talked to me a couple of nights ago. We had a very good heart to heart about all of the changes, the surgery, and how we were gonna get things planned for it. He gets so nervous about stuff. My mom is nervous. She doesn't like talking about it. 

I feel good. Not as nervous as when I would skip a day here or there with my zoloft. I am making sure I don't miss ANY. Gotta get in the pattern...

I feel good. LOL! Going back to bed now.

I figured out last night I have been obsessing with everything about the surgery, not unusual for me. I suppose alot of this is PMS and I need to keep a clear head so I won't get worse as the days get fewer. I did this when I had my c-section with little Curt. I went nuts the last week running around doing stupid, unnecessary stuff a week prior to the sceduled date. I have a tendency to lean on/blame everything on my hubby when I get nervous and I saw that I was starting to use him as a reason to not have the surgery. I cleared my head and I saw what I was doing. I love him and he tries... he just isn't thinking of the surgery on every waking minute like me. AHHHH! 

This week I have caught myself second guessing the decision on having the surgery. I KNOW i want to have it done, but I keep making up all of these stupid reasons not to have it done. I even told myself I could try dieting again! I have to be strong and do this because I need to have this surgery. 
I am like that, I change my mind at the last minute or I try to talk myself out of things.  I am determined to have this surgery and succeed like so many on this site. So... everyday I will wake up and motivate myself to keep me on track for my goal= to have the surgery and be healthy for me and my kids.
Maybe I am just stressing out because everytime I post something I see how many days left to my surgery or maybe I am just PMSing. I am starting a journal and every day I am going to remind myself of my determination to have this surgery and to be healthy/thin! 
Ughh! I can't wait until I have my surgery!

Curtis looking innocent.


Hannah singing.


Andrea being a goofball.

I went through my pre-op class on Friday, July 13.  It was very informative, but I can honestly say that one or more times all of the issues had been mentioned on here thanks to all of the post ops who post regularly. Everyone was so nice. I got to meet Rebecca and her husband. It was just nice to know we all had one goal... to be healthier. 
Nancy gave me my surgery date= AUGUST 22!!
Wow! If this month goes as fast as this past month went it will be here in no time.