Msngiggles

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Hey,

If you have a myspace please add me. I would love to communicate with you. 


http://www.myspace.com/8076400


Thanks!!!

This has been a hard week and weird one. First of all, Christina I want to say I am sorry about our fight the other night. I think you right about clothes. I think they are important and how people feel about them. I don't really like them and they are not all that important to me. Maybe as I lose more weight them might be. I still feel like a fat ugly blob. I don't agree about the personality thing. I think your the most beautiful wonderful person no matter what. My view is changing regarding clothes though.

 

I went to support group this week (on Tuesday) and to bariatric seminar today. I think it helps me with my weight issues and eating habits. I don't want to go back to my bad old habits. I know that my whole life has been focused around food. I got food as treat for a good dead, or if I felt bad, every holiday was centered around food, or a get together with food, saddness or depression was a food issue and so on. I try not to think about food all the time. The other day one of people came in my office around 10:00am could not stop talking about lunch. I was thinking shit you just came and now you can't stop talking about food and lunch is still a few hours away. People keep trying me to eat shit I am not suppose to eat. I am so glad that food in not in my office all the time. The guys in my office don't consume themselves with food. THANK GOD!!

 

I need to get some new hobbies. Anyone have any ideas? Please let me know.

 

Thanks for reading my rant. I am just frustrated lately and just need to vent.

So I just wanted to let everyone know that I have lost 8 more pounds. So far I have lost 105 pounds. I started at 328 pounds before surgery and now I weigh 223. My husband told me that I weigh less than him. I was OMG. I could hardly believe it. I am glad that the weight loss has slowed down. My clothes are all falling off my body. I went and bought myself some new clothes the other day. I just need to hem the pants because I am so damn short. Also, I went a got a wig. I did not want to but I am wearing it. I hope I don't have to wear it very long. Hopefully my hair loss will slow down now too.

I have noticed alot of really great things happening and my overall health improving. I don't have incontience any more, I can tie my own shoes (bending over like a normal person), my snoring is gone (except when my sinuses were really bad a few weeks ago), I can walk alot better (without getting winded or working up a sweat), keeping myself clean and so on.

I have to keep the good work up. I need to watch my food intake (stick to 3 meals a day, 4 ounces each meal) and drink alot more water. I still hate that stuff. I have my 6 month follow up on February 15th. I have to do more blood test before then. I hope everything comes back good. I will keep you updated.

Leave me loves and positive feed back. I sure could use all the support I can get. Thanks for being there for me.

So I went to the doctors today. So far I have lost 97 lbs. Yes, I said 97 lbs. I has not even been 5 months yet. I figured out what was causing all my pain. It was the damn medicine I was taking for my Ulcer. I have not taken since December 15th. I feel so much better. I am able to eat again. Now I just have to keep that in control. Which means weighing my food. I have my normal appetite back so I have to be careful. I am so glad things are better. Keeping a food journal has really been helping, too. It is keeping me honest. Well, I just wanted to update everyone. Keep the love and support coming. I need all I can get. Thanks!!

I am still feeling the same crappy. I had my 3rd EGD on Tuesday. They did not find anything. He said that my new pouch looks perfect. He also put the scope about 1/4 way down my bowel. He said that he did not see anything at that maybe causing the problem. He thinks I may have a blockage, scar tissue or some sort of kink inside of me that is causing the constant pain. I spoke to the doctor before the procedure and I told him I had left several messages for him. I spoke to his partners. Anyway, I told him how I have been feeling. I have been in constant abdominal pain since surgery which was 4 months ago today. I also told him that I have been getting another pain after I start eating (it starts about 20-30 minutes after I start eating. It starts like really bad cramps, then I get diarrhea and pain for about another 20-30 minutes more. He said that I have 2 different things. The pain after eating is called dumping syndrome and the other we need to do more tests. I am having an Upper GI series with small bowel follow through tomorrow at 9:00am. So I have to do the test and keep a food journal. I go back to see him on January 4th. He gave me his personal cell phone number in case of emergency. So for now I really don't know anything. As of today I have lost 92 pounds. That is alot. I wish I felt better and could enjoy the weight lose more. Any how, I will keep you up to date.

So as of today, I have lost 86 pounds. I am happy that I am losing but fed up with the fact I am in constant pain. The doctor has doubled my Ulcer medicine (2 Nexxium a day and put me back on Carafate, twice a day). It is not helping yet. And to top things off I am having problems eating and keeping it down again. So on Tuesday I have to have yet another EGD. Oh joy, I get to ask my boss for another day off. He is going to be pissed yet again. But there is nothing I can do about it. Well, just wanted to update you. Send me some loves. I need it.

So I am sitting here thinking about the holidays. This year is going to be really hard. The reason it is going to be hard is having Gastric Bypass Surgery. I never realized all the holidays center around food. Thanksgiving, huge meal; Christmas, huge meal; Birthday, huge meal; Easter, huge meal and so on and so on. I never realized that food was huge thing for every holiday. Now my focus has to go elsewhere. Thanksgiving is not really going to be the same anymore. I am going to miss the stuffing, dinner rolls and pumkin pie with cool whip. So it is going to be like a food sampling instead of food grazing. This Thanksgiving I will just be content with being with my family and great friends. I have alot of things to be thankful for. Here are some:

 

1. My daughter-She has brought me such great joy in my life.

 

2. My husband-He has never judged me, only loved me.

 

3. My sister and brother-they have always been good and loving to me. I also have another sister who passed away. I miss her so damn much. I can't believe it has been almost 9 years.

 

4. My parents-they are no longer here either. I miss them so much, so much that words can not express it.

 

5. My friends-I have the best friends on the planet. Especially, my myspace friends. Amy, Kassie and Randy. They are my support system online.

 

6. All my other family. Life would not be the same if it wasn't for them. I love them so much. I have 2 great step sons, a wonderful daughter in law and a grandson.

 

7. I have a good job with good pay. Most of the time my boss is not a bad person. I have 2 wonderful co-workers. George and Ed. They make it fun to be at work.

 

8. I have a home, food and clothing. I am so appreciative of that. There are too many people that don't have what I have.

 

9. I have a future to look forward to. I am glad that I had my surgery. My life is getting better and I am planning on keeping this new life going in the right direction.

 

10. And most of all I have life. Every day just gets better. I love life and want to keep living it for a very long time.

 

 

 

All I can say is to enjoy life and love your family and friends.Every day is a blessing.

 

 

 

What does Thanksgiving mean to you and what are you thankful for??? 

 

So I am a loser...

 

 

 

Today when I went into the doctor's office for a follow up. I got weighed as usual. I am down 70 pounds so far. It hasn't even been 3 months so far. The doctor said that I am on schedule with my weight lose. Which I am glad about. Since I had my second EGD to re-open my stomach, I have been able to eat. I am happy about that. I just have to force myself to eat 3 meals a day. I am doing better about that. Still only each about 2 to 3 ounces. He said by my 6th month I might be up to 4 ounces. I am getting to feel better. Starting to eat and even my infection is healing. It is closed now. I have even been able to sleep on my stomach a little. But it cramps up and then I have to turn over. I am glad it is getting better and I am starting to feel more human. Still constant pain in my stomach but everything is still healing. I just have to be patient.

 

I had my surgery on the 15^th. Apparently during surgery I ended up with a leak. They fixed it. I did not know until Dr. Cottam told me the next morning when he came in. Both Christina and I were shocked. No one told us the day before. Luckily, Christina stayed both nights in the hospital with me. She was a huge help and great company. She even got to use the bed next to me. I went home Thursday. On Tuesday of this week I went to Dr. Cottam for a wound follow up. They even took my drain out. I WAS SO HAPPPY!!!  And today I get a huge infection. I called the office and my husband. Leroy came right home. I thought I was dying because the stupid thing popped and drained everywhere. Talk about gross and stinky. They spent 30 minutes trying to get all the infection out. They said that it needs to be cleaned daily and repacked daily. Leroy has accepted that lovely chore. So it is packed and is opened. They say it has to heal from the inside to the outside. This is supposed to take 4 to 6 weeks. YES, so freaking painful and gross.

8 oz  is craziness. I mean really, who can only eat eight ounces. Not to think after surgery I will only be able to eat 4 ounces a meal. Wow.

 

So for dinner I grilled pork chops. I steammed frozen pea & carrots and made tater crowns for Leroy and Christina.

 

First, I had to cut all my meat and weight it. Then I measured the veggies, I had one slice of 9 grain bread with a micro dab of margarine on it (the bread and margarine together only weighed an ounce). I know I am not suppose to have bread. And had 2 ounces of tater crowns. Anyway, it did not really look like anything on my plate.

 

Some rules I have to get use to while doing this is. Put my fork down between every bite and not to drink anything for 30 minutes before, during or after eating.

 

So as my food get colds it the pork chop get tough and not enjoyable. That is only half the way through dinner. I was bad I had 2 drinks while trying to eat. Now everything is cold.

 

But one day down and lots more to go.