Niara

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I'm ready to be done with all of the preliminaries. I'm ready for them to say okay your insurance company has approved your surgery. It seems as though that's one of the toughest parts. I know they will. But, it's just the waiting. I have other things that I'm focused on as well, like my children and my business but, I'm ready to move to the next phase. I remember all of the inner turmoil that I had to go this far. Basically it was because of other people projecting on me what they would or would not do. Any woo. I'm making changes. I'm incorporating all of the things that are on this list from the nutritionist that I will have to do after surgery. It has been so challenging to make a meal last 20 minutes. To make sure that I'm eating small portions and to make sure that I eat. I was hungry while I was working with a client so I jumped up and got a tablespoon of peanut butter. It actually worked. I've been practicing sipping instead of gulping down my drinks. I've been going to the gym using the treadmill. I can do about 20 mins with a 5 minute cool down although I stop the cool down after 2 minutes. So hopefully in the next week I'll be scheduling my sleep apnea test.

Well, so far I have my psych evaluation scheduled, my meeting with the nutritionist which is going to be interesting and I'm waiting on a questionnaire for my sleep apnea study so that I can schedule that appt. I want to know whether or not I'll be able to move towards the goal of one day becoming a vegan. It has been very challenging because I am addicted. Although I know all of the health benefits of not eating flesh I still continue to do so. I have proof that I did Jenny Craig for 3 months however a Wholistic practioner.MD has not furnished my records stating that I tried her detoxification rejuvination program. The program cost me $1000 in one month for three visits. It was wonderful but, I just don't have those type of funds. I was provided with literature, supplements, I did colon irrigation and infrared sauna treatments.  It just cost too much money.

It's been a long time coming. I'm a 30 year old mother of two wonderful children. I've been trying since the birth of my 9 year old to lose weight. I've been consistantly on and off of diets for the past 9 years. I've made a lot of life changes and this by far will be the most. I've finally made up my mind to go thru with the procedure. I never thought I was a candidate for this surgery. For years I was in denial about my weight gain. Trying to embrace my "curves" but, it was never me. I knew I was not comfortable with this extra baggage. 
As I envision the pounds melting away I see more than just a new svelte figure. I visualize someone with more confidence. Someone who is in control of her life, and is injoying living it. 
These extra pounds have been symbolic of how I felt about myself for several years. I know longer view myself this way so it's time to let go. I've struggled with whether or not to have this procedure. I questioned whether or not I had tried everything possible. I've tried everything possible that I know of. I was trying to figure out how I would explain the massive weight loss in such a short amount of time. I've now come to the realization that I don't have to explain anything to anybody except myself. I have to be accountable to me which I've never been. I've always cared what others thought. I wasn't going to follow through because of me considering what others would think. It doesn't matter what matters is me. 
I will no longer have to size up a chair before I sit, scan the room to see if I'm the largest one in the room, wonder if I'll be able to get off the floor once I've sat down with my children, or tell my children to go play by themselves because I don't have the endurance to keep up. It's been a long time coming and I'm ready. So send me some positive energy as I go thru the process of getting approved by the insurance company, the testing, the surgery, the recovery and ultimately my new improved life....