OneSillyGirl
Hi! Thanks for visiting my page. Haven't done this since web page thing since I found my hubby on line!
Since it looks like this lap band thing is actually going to happen, I figure I might as well invest a little time here and spruce up my page.
I am 38 years old. 5'8"ish though Dr. says I'm only 5'5 3/4" (but I think that was to make my BMI higher.) I started at 270 lbs and am trying to lose a few before surgery. Divorce, remarried and the mother of one stepson who was left behind by his mother when she died when he was two. I am the only real mother he has had aside from his grandmother and aunts who were awesome but you know...still not the same. He is great. My husband is awesome and is totally supportive of me in this journey. He is type 1 diabetic so he has to watch his weight carefully too. I think this new lifestyle will be good for all of us.
My first husband was a jerk. He wanted to help me I think but he didn't know how. He tried to encourage me but it was more like a threat. I never felt good enough anyway so anything he said about my weight crushed me more, made me more defensive and more rebellious. He didn't struggle with his weight at all until after we got married. He became a firefighter and went out and drank alot on his days off so he did and I think still does battle it today. When he realized he couldn't criticize that anymore he just got a girlfriend (or two or three) and eventually left for good in 2003.
The damage done during the 13 years we were together only served to compound the inadequacies that I already felt. Much of my extended family is seriously over weight. Both grandmothers were about 5 ft tall and weighed around 250-300. This trickled down and while my parents weren't obese, they were always fighting it and encouraging my sister and I to fight it too knowing that we had fat genes on both sides to overcome. Looking back at pictures of those times, I wasn't even fat then. I don't know what they were seeing. I guess they were afraid that I'd be like this some day. I remember being concious of my weight when I was about 12 and it went on from there. Again, I don't even think you could call me chubby back then but my parents were always dieting so I guess I just jumped on their bandwagon. They didn't know better. It was probably to counter balance the fact that everything we did as a family revolved around food. Every celebration. Every disappointment was answered with food. Eventually my sister and I both became what my parents feared most...obese.
All that has brought me here. After a lifetime of battling my weight along with guilt and shame, I am looking forward to taking a proactive approach to this battle and hopefully enjoying some lifelong success. I am starting out with about a 110 wls goal so it won't be easy but I have already come to depend on this online community for advice and support and look forward to growing many friendships through this site as I progress on this journey
