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I can't believe that I only have 23 lbs to go to be a member of the CenturyClub!!  

Had way too much drama in my life with my spouse and have neglected the OH family.   But wanted to share that I am now below 300lbs and feeling so good.  

Thank you for being there for support!!

Well it has only been 5-weeks since WLS and I  have lost 20lbs from the date of surgery;  total of 38 from the start of the journey.  I did some manth and that averages 4lbs per week.   I feel like I am losing slow.

But on the other side of the coin, I went shopping for a semi-formal dress for my hubby's company Christmas Party & I have dropped 2 sizes!!!   I think I am getting smaller but the weight is just not coming off as fast.   

I know we are not suppose to compare ourselves to others, but it is so hard. 

I am definitely feeling a whole lot better!!   Wondering if anybody else has experienced an increase in libido?  Hubby is loving it though!!!

Thanks all

Vowed to not weigh myself but once a week, so this AM was the 1 week mark from surgery.
LOST 9LBS!!!   I was so hesitant to get on the scale - - -  I seem to be a person that looses inches first & weight second.  

I am still a little pessimistic that this will continue, but am trying to remain positive. 
 

Yes, you read that correctly.   It came in THREES yesterday.  

First, I got a call from the insurance company on Friday but was not able to talk to them until yesterday, Monday 09/14.  They had questions about why the Surgeon was ordering a biopsy of my liver & the repair of a hernia.   After answering her questions, she indicated that she would be contacting the Doc's office and if they had to wait for the documentation to consider them both "medically necessary" then that would delay the surgery.   Delay the surgery?   Yes, I WAS APPROVED!!!!    Just a couple of weeks ago I thought all was lost.    Come to find out my Doc's office went ahead and sent all the paper work in (38 pages) and I got approved.    I immediately called the Doc's office to let them know what the insurance company had just said.

Second, Doc's office said "let's book a pre-op exam now."   So i go in next Wednesday for my pre-op appointment.  Then she asked if October 13th would be a good date for surgery?   Ughhhhhh YES!!!  

Third, I went on an interview about a month and a half ago with the school district for a Senior Budget Analysis.  When others asked how the interview went I told them that I thought I had bombed the interview.   I was relaxed and confident but missed a couple of questions.   Then had to take a math test specific to financial calculations and it has been awhile since I had done them manually (I usually rely on Excel) and thought I had really messed up on that as well.   Oh well, I thought, it was good practice and I did gain some confidence that it is easier to come into an interview relaxed & enjoy it than to get all worked up and anxious.   I got a call yesterday asking for MORE references.   I was in the top candidates for the position!!!   Can you believe that?   I was floored.   Still don't have the job but you never know.  

So now I guess I need to get busy on getting before pics, figuring out the weight meters all my OH friends have showing progress, post-surgery allowable foods, vitamins, etc . . . . .

I am excited right now and only focused on getting ready.   By others sharing here on OH it has really helped me get over some of my fears about WLS and has answered alot of questions.   Questions that can only be answered by those that have been through it.  

Thank You OH!!!!

Well . . . . . there is some conflicting information coming from the insurance company.   I have two, maybe three (they can't decide) more months of NUTR that I have to go through before submitting of autho for surgery.   They don't have 5-years of weight history (my PCP is right next door and was done in January but the surgeon's office personnel can't find it)   Plus, they have no report from the Nutriionist.  I have emailed the NUTR and she has not gotten back to me but I'm not worried; she seems to be up on things & it hasn't been 24-hours yet.  

I have also been so anxious about the waiting that I find myself either binging one day and not eating at all the next day because I am so full / bloated.   I am craving PROTEIN though!!   Must be actually following the diet from the NUTR for a good 3-weeks.  Never before did I have to make sure I have breakfast . . .  but now that is a different story.  

Had my first appointment with a new Therapist yesterday and she asked: "how have you been able to keep it all together with all the stressors in your life."    I replied: "what stressors?   It's all comforted & dismissed cause there is food to devour."   I guess that says it all.   ---Back to the new Therapist.   Very friendly, serious and spiritual.  I think this is not going to be very easy cause we spent 90 minutes on the intake with her getting to know where I am at.   I have never had such an intensive intake before so this is going to be tough cuz it is not looking like I am going to get away with much.  

OK, enough blogging for the day.   Get to work Cheri!!!

Took the Hubby to the Surgeon's seminar that he puts on and he got all his questions answered.    Couple of good things came out of it:  1) Hubby feels more comfortable with me having surgery  2)  Called the insurance company & they said everything looks like it is in order, go ahead and have the surgeon submit for pre-authorization  3) Thyroid ultrasound showed no change.     ALL good things.    I think I am going to have to pinch myself to make sure it is real.    We are so blessed in our family with great insurance coverage through my hubby's work.  

But on the flip side I have been experiencing alot of emotional highs and real lows.   In talking with my spouse I have been trying to figure it out . . . .  what we have come up with is I am having an "idenity crisis."  
           Who am I if I'm not fat?
           Everyone knows me as the BBW; what will I be now?
           I have always had to work three times as hard at a job cuz I am a woman AND overweight?  What now?

For inquiry minds, yes, I have an appointment scheduled in my search for a therapist.   Any suggestions on screening a therapist or if you have struggled with these questions also, I would welcome whatever you are willing to share.  

Thank you for your compasion & understanding.   I look forward to your responses :-)

Yesterday I went in for all my the remaining two pre-op tests.  Plus had to have my thyroid re-ultrasound-ed.  When I started to get serious about this journey of WLS, the surgeon during the first office visit discovered two nodules on each side of my thyroid.   At the time the first course was to have an ultrasound.  Due to the size of each (1"+ on both sides) ordered a biopsy.   One side was benign and the other was inconclusive.   Then the waiting began for 6-months to go by and here we are; ultrasound to see if they have grown.   If they have grown then biopsy again.   So . . . . . while I was already there @ the hospital getting this done I thought I would simply get the rest of the pre-op tests done.    Friday is the UGI & abdominal ultrasound.  

I have been very cranky and on edge.   I have been trying to figure out if it is the WLS becoming more of a reality or if it is the other stresses in my life.   My spouse is concerned about the surgery & the prospect of the worst case scenario.   We are scheduled for one of the surgeon's WLS Seminars next week and have an appointment on Sept 2nd to go have one last face-to-face before submitting for authorization.  

Take Care my Friends!! 

 . . . and doing the program.   I have seen the Nutrisionist 3 times, PT twice a week, and all but three of the lab tests done.  

It is amazing how you are doing so well, feeling good about trying to eat right, exercising more and then . . . . almost without warning you wake up and your legs are so swollen with fluid you can barely walk to the bathroom.  I have been struggling with an inadequate lump system that creates such a fullness my legs feel like lead weights.   Well I went to Sports Authority and purchased two knee supports.   I have been wearing them for 2-weeks now and have been able to successfully srink both knees by 2 inches!!!   

Still not losing any weight.   I have had company and we have been blowing & going; eathing out not picking healthy menu items . . . . thank goodness that my Nutrisionist cancelled the appointment today and had to reschedule for next week. 

I can't believe that I have to wait til December for a date.   Trying to keep my head up and staying positive. 

 . . . of a lifetime is hopefully making a downward turn to becoming half the person I am now. 

This sounds pretty "doomsday" but actually I finally see myself as other do:  Morbidly Obese!!   At 350+, this is no way to live.   The depression and anxiety is really getting in the way of living.   I was talking to my Mother the other day and she asked: "when are you going to start taking care of yourself?  Put your well-being above others?"    I couldn't answer the question because I had no idea.   I have always focused on the health and welfare of others at the expense of neglecting my own health.   Frankly, it was a very noble, yet convenient, excuse that has worked for years.   But was it really working?

What is your turning point?    When are you going to put yourself FIRST?   I have been reluctantly asking myself this a lot lately and it has only made things worse during the last several weeks.   To get the right perspective, let’s go back a little bit in time.   Last year it was all about the J-O-B. Actually, that has been the excuse for the last 8 years.   In just the last 8 months I have been providing emotional support for my daughter (19) who found herself pregnant & was choosing adoption in the best interest of the baby; I had my first Grandchild in January (5-weeks early) and she spent 17 days in the NCIU; my youngest son went into the hospital in February and spent the next 45-days there; now my middle son (17) is in a treatment facility as of last week.     The question has been easy to answer for the last year and half.     But now everyone has, or in the process of getting their physical/mental health back . . . . Now what?  Am I going to be forced to start focusing on me? 

All of this has been a little straining on our marriage and I was so scared the other day when my husband said “we need to talk.”  I became very anxious on the inside but was able to project a calm demeanor on the exterior.   We were finally able to sneak away for a couple of hours and he too started the conversation by saying that he was very worried about his wife;  how it is getting harder for her to move and that even a simple shopping trip has to be planned for a “good day.”    I was numb.   I didn’t want to face it or talk about it at all.    

Through all of this my best friend has been Ice Cream . . . but then again I have had lots of "comforting friends (food)".    They were always there, available and never said NO!!  My friends have stuck around and now my posse that hangs on my arms, thighs, mid-section and other areas total up to 350+ and to be truthful, are feeling more like baggage than friends.  

How can a bright, educated, introspective woman be in such denial that these crazy friends are killing her?