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Well...Friday was the big day!  They say it went great...thankfully...I don't remember a thing! haha  My hubby has been very good (better than I thought) and helpful.  I was in a great deal of pain yesterday and stayed on all the meds yesterday...liquid codeine, gas x and gravol.  But I've had nothing but Tylenol since 2:00 this morning...and I think that was a caffeine headache.  I made my shake and put some instant coffee in it...that should do the trick!

Peter and I have gone for a walk outside just now and I did pretty good.  I had to stop a time or two but it felt good to get out of this hotel room.  We fly back to Calgary tonight.  I am looking forward to being at home and able to roam around a bit more.

We are flying to Vancouver tonight.  I meet w/the anesthesiologist (?) at 2:30 tomorrow and surgery at noon on Friday!!!  I can't wait!!!

I love Saturday mornings...no alarms...sleeping as long as I want....just having a laid back start of the day with my husband.  But I had a very restless night!  I don't know how many times I woke up to think about life after surgery! I kept thinking "this time next week".  I am pretty excited and can't wait to become comfortable in my new body.

My coworker, Sue, has been such a great support and cheerleader for me this week.  She is one of those people that is always happy and bubbly....but this week she came to my office several times and closed the door gushed about how good I am looking and how proud she is of me!  It made me a tad uncomfortable!!  So we talked about that and how the head part is hard for me.  I am thankful for Sue and her support....but I am also thankful for her pointing out my need to work on my head space.  Because, honestly speaking, I did look in the mirror that morning and think...wow...I can tell I have lost and I am looking good!!  But I shoved that thought out of my head...it made me feel uncomfortable.  I don't know why...it just felt like something naughty that I shouldn't be doing.

On a different note....I was wondering why no one ever talked about adding their Meditrim to coffee...like creamer.  So I tried it this morning and now I know why you should not do that....It's disgusting!!!  The Meditrim clomped up and I can't even tell you what it tasted like....nothing good!  It did feel good to have something warm for a change.  However, I will NOT be doing that again!!

  This time next week I will be in Vancouver trying to sleep before my surgery the following day!  To say that I am excited is a bit of an understatement.  I can't wait!  I am proud of myself and the self control I have had while doing the shakes.  I do miss food!!  And I've thought about conking my husband on the head when he smacks his lips while he eats mac n cheese.  But I've not cheated!

As of this morning I am down 11 lbs, weighing 270.  Lots of people at work have started noticing the loss and commenting on how I look.  They haven't seen anything yet!!  I have made several friends on here and other sites that have been a great support to me and encouragement.  It's great to hear first hand how it went and how the weight loss is going.

I'm so thankful for all of you and for my family and friends that are behind me and cheering for me. 

Well....I know I should not be weighing myself everyday....but it was so exciting to step on the scales each morning and see the number going down.  Then Sunday it didn't move...and then today it did move....up one!!?  I tried to put that out of my mind and remember the 10.5 inches I've lost overall.  I put on an outfit I hadn't worn in a while and left for work.  After about half an hour at work I wanted to go home and change.  I felt so fat and exposed.  I wasn't able to shake the mood or thoughts all day long.  I did, however, have several comments on how good I looked and one person that doesn't know what I am doing commented on the weight I had lost and said I was looking fantastic!

So why didn't this change my mood?  I don't have an answer....this is my life long dilemma and cycle.  This is going to be my biggest challenge.

It was one week ago yesterday that I started Meditrim.  According to my patient coordinator I am one of the few that likes the shakes!  I like to be different! haha  I got the vanilla ones (as I am one of the few that does not like chocolate) and have been adding instant coffee or cinnamon, clove and nutmeg or just having them plain.  I do llike them!  I am blending them in the Magic Bullet w/lots of ice so I have something to crunch on.  I have tried the veggies that were allowed and I do not like them!  I have never been a fan of veggies...except the starchy ones....love potatoes and corn!  So just 3 shakes a day for me.

I've been losing a pound a day...so this morning I am down 8 lbs!  I thought it might be more per day...but I'll settle for a pound a day!  My surgery is on the 19th so getting closer and I am still very excited.  I've seen a lot of people on the forum writing about their complications and troubles they've had since getting banded.  I also read one post that said those on the forum are the one's with complications and issues....the successful banders are off living life and enjoying their success.  So I am chosing to believe there are a lot more success stories than unsuccessful ones and I am going to be one of those!

I have been pleasantly suprised by the support I have gotten from the people that I have told about my surgery.  I have not cheated once since starting the shakes.  I have had some tempting situations but so far I've remained strong.  That's pretty amazing for me.....I am usually a cheater!  But I want this to succeed....so I am giving it 150%!  I was suprised to hear from my pt coordinator, Kim, that I can't tan for 2 wks prior to surgery.  I have a bit of an obsession about being tan....I think this might be the most challenging part of the whole thing so far! haha

Well....enough ramblings for me today.  I am going to try to gather the energy (which has been VERY low since starting the shakes) to get the laundry done today. 

Good day, all!

so far not so bad!  I am not enjoying the veggies...but I never have.  I'm not minding the shakes at all...I put coffee in this morning and then decaf for lunch.  It is 3 weeks from today that I go for the lap band procedure.  I am so looking forward to this change.  I prayed last night and acknowledged this was going to be a struggle.  I know that it likely wont be pretty some days (the moods, that is) but I hope that I have the strength and courage to keep on. 

I sat at lunch today with 2 very thin women.  They talked about stores and brands of clothing I've never even heard of before.  I am looking forward to walking into these stores one day and not feel that I am being looked at by the salespeople with a puzzled look on their faces....wondering why there is a fat girl in their thin store.

I had my physical earlier this week and their scale weighed me 9 lbs less than my scales at home.  I like their's much better!! haha  I do go and buy new scales last night and they seem to be far more accurate.  But the good news is, I weigh less than I thought.....I thought 288 and it was actually 279.  And my BMI is actually 47 and not 49.  So I'll take that!

Thanks for journeying with me....

I've been in Phoenix for almost a week now soaking up the sun.  I must confess that I was a bit anxious about flying alone.  Not that flying scares me at all....but fitting into just one seat does.  My husband is usually w/me and while I feel bad with my hips spilling over into his seat...at least it is not a stranger.  But I got very lucky...the seat belt fit w/out an extendor....I couldn't breath...but it met...barely! haha  And I was in the window seat and there was no one in the middle!!  Yahoo!  So I was off to a good start.

I spent a lot of time laying in the sun and thinking....pondering....praying....and imagining what the new me will look like.  I know when I come back in Oct. I will need a new bathing suit....and a few other things probably.  I know that when I fly back in Oct. I should not have to worry about needing a seat extendor.  I even picked out a new fun color of nail polish for post surgery! haha  It's the little things.

I start the Meditrim a week from Friday, July 29th.  It seems a bit odd, but I am looking forward to that....to the beginning and to a healthier, happier me. 

Well....it has been just over a week now and I have not had a single sip of Diet Coke!  This is a huge accomplishment for me!!  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be either....thank goodness! 

I am flying to Phoenix in the morning so will have to endure being squished in a seat and hoping the seat belt fits and that the person next to me doesn't give me the look...you know the one.....in their head they are wishing they were sitting next to the screaming kid instead of being pressed up against the fat woman.  But this wont be for much longer!  My surgery is in 37 days.  The next time I fly will be to get the surgery.  And the next time I go to Phoenix (in Oct.) I will need a new bathing suit!

I tried tofu today....it wasn't so bad.  It really had no taste at all.  I put it on my salad and it soaked up the vinagrette I used.  I'm not so keen on veggies so I decided to  chop up several that I don't typically eat and sprinkle them on my salad...it worked!

I was able to make my physical appt today that is required 3 wks prior to the surgery.  It is all seeming to be so real and coming up so quickly!  I am still excited and ready to change my life and my body.  I hope that my mind is as easy to change as the physical.  I tend to have a fairly constant negative voice running thru my head about my weight and my appearance.  I'm hoping I can starve it out! haha