still a struggle

Sep 07, 2009

It has been 9 months since my surgery and i can eat anything i want . Suger doesnt bother me. i can eat chips and candy. It really scares me. I had this surgury because i have no will power. and now that i have lost 105 lbs i am scared to death that i will gain it all back. dont say watch what you eat or after every thing  you went through why would eat the wrong things. The whole point of the surgery is because i cant do it on my own. I dont have junk in my house but it seems every where i go the is junk food. i cant resist it . a little here and a little there wont hurt right. yeah well i am  not losing any weight anymore. not gaining either but still could lose another 40 lbs.This is so frustrating. i dont know what to do. even when i am full i keep nibbling. i dont want to go backwards. i hate this so much.i love the loss that i have had and buying new clothes. i need something, anything that will stop me from going back wards.

anyone out there feel the same. please dont say just dont eat that stuff. what to do, what to do. as i sit here too full again from eating too much.

i feel like such a pig and a failure.

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