Chantel McGleno
Shh!
Apr 21, 2011
All I wanted was quiet tonight. Not to hear anything but the sounds of my fingers tapping at the keyboard. Tip, tap, tup. Nothing more. Instead; I get the sound of the tv blaring, profanity screaming from your mouth over commercials, bickering to yourself over colors of people skin. Honestly. Hush already! (Btw it wasn't in a racist way. Hard to explain.) So I sit back and try to keep a smile on my face. Pretend that everything is alright even when it isn't. Maybe it's years of doing that keeps me going. Maybe I am just so good at it now it's a habit. Maybe, Maybe I'm just downright confused..???
Then earlier today, (after I burnt my hand making cookies for my grandma
) I took my girls to the park play. For some reason I started watching some guys from around town practice softball. I didn't think anything of it and I wanted to sit down and watch. All of a sudden I am flashbacking back to high school, sitting on the bleachers with all these people looking at me like, "Why is the fat girl here? Only gf's get to watch!" So I tore myself away from watching and started home. I am really beginning to hate April. My depression is (sorry for the language now) but kicking my ass! I am trying so hard to stay positive but things just keep bombing out on me. I can't win for losing this month I can't! And truth be told I am sick of it! School is draining me, my life is draining right now. I will keep motivated and stay positive. Depression was the start of my weight gain. So I WILL overcome this! Won't I? Pray for me.I need to go... thinking about writing a poem or two yet as well. Keep the creativity flowing!
