Dawn Brickell
Thoughts
Apr 18, 2008
This is strait from my heart and I am writing this on the anniversary of my father’s death. These are some of the life lessons I have learned and observed in the last 6 years.
1) Life is short live it to the fullest everyday. Dad was in
2) Always smile and laugh even with strangers. You never know just how much good it can do for a soul that's hurting.
3) Listen to the ones that love you. If someone truly loves you they only think of what is best for you. Please see their reasoning and understand their point of view. Some times WE do not see things a clearly as we should.
4) Even when you’re really busy, tired or wary. If you make plans with a love one show up .Don‘t let them down. They may say its okay and that they understand. But in truth they might have really been looking forward to seeing you they won’t show their disappointment even if the feel it deeply because they love you. A time will come when it is too late and you would give anything just to have one more minute with them so please enjoy them while they are still here and you can.
5) Sing ! Even it you’re a little off key. Some of my favorite memories are of Dad singing is heart out and playing his drums.
6) If you lose a loved one take time to mourn and remember the happiness they brought into you like.
7) Never be afraid to learn to live your life again and find love. Mom after 5 years without Dad has found love again. It is so wonderful to see her laugh and glow in her new love. Bill is the greatest! He fits so well in our family. It’s like he has always been here. I truly believe if he and Dad ever met they would have been fast and good friends. He not only fills a need in Mom’s heart fills but he also fills a need in my heart .I am proud to call him my big Daddy .He is my big Daddy not because of any physical trait but because of just how big his heart is. He accepts all of our crazy family and we have some strange and unique people in our family. He accepts us as we are .That is a gift.
Well that is it all my random thoughts in closing I will leave you with my motto in life. I found in about 2 ½ years ago when I was going thought some life altering changes both mentally and physical.
Life is good
Do what you like. Like what you do.
Love Dawn
My feeling's after my first year
Oct 17, 2006
I had my year check up last week I have lost a total of 161 pounds. My Gastric bypass Doctor did not even recognize me at my appointment. Then a light dawned on him and he said” wow you have lost a massive amount of weight this year. I wish all my patient did as well as you”. Then he went on to say most people that start at the weight I started at (375) lose on average 110 pounds in their first year. I am above his average by 52 pounds. That really blew him away. It really made me feel good to blow my weight loss doctor away with my weight loss.
Things have really slowed down in the weight loss area I keep plugging away and drinking and getting my protein in. What a year it has been.
Life is good!
That is my new motto and it is so true. I have experience a miracle this last year. It seems all of my dreams have come true. It is so hard to put into word how greatly my life has changed for the good. A small thing last week I planted 120 spring bulbs in my garden. I year ago they would have found me passed out in the front yard lying next to the boxes of bulbs.
My energy levels are unbelievable.
This surgery is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I never knew I was so strong and I love my new found strength .Its not the weight lifting kind of strength but the kind that comes from inside and make you feel like a better person. I never realized that I was only ½ living. Now I am whole living and it is a blessing
First year
Oct 17, 2006
07/26/2005 I am 40 years old and at my first appointment with Dr.Gavlin I weighted 375lbs.I put on most of my weight in my late teens and early 20's.I have been married to my wonderful husband Tom for 19 1/2 years and we have 4 beautiful Schipperke dogs (Bella,Dante,Anthony & Sophia) And two Kittens Dolce & Gabanna.I love this site and have learned so much from it.I have a tentative surgery date for September 23 2005 and I am waiting to hear from my Insurance company.I have had some health problems and my PCP recommened a fast weight loss.So here I am.I was always the healthly fat person and in 6 months I am now the unhealthly fat person.It was a real wake up call when I was put on pills to prevent a heart attack.I also have sleep apnea,borderline high blood pressure and sugar.Polycystic ovarian disease and metabolic syndrome.I want to live.I don't want to die of a heart attack.I am doing this to get healthy.The weight loss is an excellent side effect
08/01/2005 Wow I am so bummed just called My Insurance Company and they denied me. I almost burst out crying. I asked why I was denied. They claimed they never received my Psycho evaluation or letter from my PCP.I have personally seen both those pieces of paper in my chart and told her that. She said she couldn’t do anything until they where faxed to her. I called Robin at Dr.Galvins office and I love this woman she said “that’s bull I faxed the packet over myself”. So they are re faxing the info over and I will check again in a couple of days. What a bummer. I will breath so much easier when I have the Insurance approval can’t think of a reason they would deny me with all my medical problems that stem from all this weight. I just need to have their ok to know this is real and is going to happen and I really have a chance to get my health back.
08/02/2005 Well I called my insurance company today. They received my additional paper work. When I ask how long it would take till I received their decision. They said they have 30 days to review a claim. That is such a bummer I sure hope it does not take them that long. I will call everyday till they are sick of hearing from me.
08/04/2005 Ahhhhhhhhhh My insurance company is killing me I swear. They want documented proof of past weight loss attempts. The problem with that is the hospital I did optifast at has closed. I called the Doctors office directly and they do not know if they still have my records on file. This is from 1996 ish.I spoke to a really nice lady who said she would personally go down in the dead files and look for me and get back to me today. I am keeping my fingers crossed. The first time I called I couldn’t get anyone to even look for me. I was just told it was to long ago to think about trying to find it Just to be on the safe side I also called my PCP (who has been my doctor since I was 9 years old).To see if he had correspondence in my chart from the optifast doctor that we could use. I think God is trying to teach me patients. This is really stressing me as my husband said “just let go and let God” He is now using my lines on me so I better start listening. I just thought with all my medical problems I would breeze thought this whole insurance thing.UGH!!!!
08/05/2005 Well no news yet. The nice lady from the optifast program called to say my records had been lost. I was so happy to hear that. Luck was with me at my PCP’s office they had all the correspondence from the optifast doctor It totaled about 8 pages so I am keeping my fingers crossed it will be enough for the insurance company.Everything was faxed over to the insurance company and I am still listed as pending.
08/072005 I am having a great weekend and trying not to think of my insurance issues. This weekend was my company picnic. I work for an inter-city health center .My coworkers know how to cook good soul food. I never have had such good food as I have had since working here. The best part of the whole picnic was seeing a former coworker and now board member who believe it or not is 3 months out with my same doctor. I almost passed out. I have never actually talked with a post op patient from my doctors office. We talked and talked It was wonderful and a true blessing.Tuesday is my endoscopy I am a little nervous about it. I had my pre op testing Friday and it was quite extensive. The last time I had pre op testing all they did was draw blood. This time I meant with 4 different people and had an EKG. Better safe the sorry.
08/08/2005 I WAS APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE SUCH A BURDEN HAS BEEN LIFTED.I feel so blessed. This ranks up there as one of the happiest days of my life, I was so scared when they started asking for things I could not provide .A big thank you to my PCP Dr.Farnand and his staff for keeping such good records.Also a big thanks to my hubby Tom for putting up with my craziness about this. HAPPY DAY……..Dawn
08/10/2005 I had my endoscopy yesterday. It went really well with no problems found. The anesthesia really kicked my ass. I slept and slept. I woke up this morning feeling like I had a killer hangover. As the day wears on it’s getting a little better. It wasn’t so bad that I didn’t go to work or anything but I swear it feels just like a bad hangover.
08/11/2005 I love reading peoples post that include a wish list/to do list after WLS so here is mine
1) Fit comfortable in a plane seat without taking ½ of my
husband’s seat and asking for an extender.
2) Go parasailing.
3) Ride all the rides I want to not just the ones I can fit into
at theme parks.
4) Buy sexy under stuff at Victoria’s secret.
5) Blend in to a crowd not stick out as the largest person at
any event.
6) Cuddle up on my husband's lap not just next to him.
7) Be smaller then my husband.
8) Have only one chin.
9) Buy clothes in a normal store not a plus size store.
10) Get rid of my C-Pap. (God willing) and sleep in the arms
of my husband.
11) Sleep with only one pillow.
12) Be comfortable in booths and movie seats not crammed
in.
13) Have my Mom stop worrying that I am going to have a
heart attack.
14) Regain my total health.
15) Buy clothes because I like them .Not because they are
the only ones that fit.
16) Have a sense of personal style again.
17) Buy any thing wearable that is by Dolce & Gabanna.
18) Find out what lies beneath all this bulk.(It’s been years
and years)
19) Be a “normal” size person for the first time in my adult life.
20) Walk,run,bike,rollerblade effortlessly.
08/12/2005 Last night when I got home from work my official approval letter was in the mail. I opened it and cried like a baby. I feel I now have a second chance to start over and become “normal again”. I can’t ever remember being a normal size. My aunt Debbie was home in February of this year and we all got snowed in at my Grandmothers house (Mom, Aunt Deb and Me).we stayed up late one night going though family pictures it was a blast we laughed and we cried. The thing that shocked me is that in every picture I was huge. I weight 375 lbs so it should not have come as a big surprise. When you are as big as I am I think sometimes you stop seeing the real you in the mirror .It’s almost like a self defense mechanism. I really had no clue I had gotten so out of control. It was a real reality check for me. I just sat there with a dumb look on my face staring it the proof as my life was laid out before me in pictures of my life. That is the day I knew I had no control of my weight and I needed more help then I had been able to give myself. I felt defeated and a little bit like a failure. Then In May my health started to be affected and here I am Feeling very blessed to get a second chance. What a beautiful thing that is. I have hope again that is a wonderful feeling.
08/15/2005 Well it was a good weekend. I went garage saleing with Mom on Saturday. Then just lounged round Sunday and never even got out of my Jammies. That sure was nice for a change. All I can seem to think about is my upcoming surgery. Next Tuesday I have to start my pre-surgical diet. It is pretty limiting because they are trying to shrink my fatty liver before surgery. Basically this is it
Breakfast= SF carnation instead breakfast and protein
Lunch= carnation instead breakfast and protein W/ 3-4 oz chicken or fish.
Dinner= carnation instead breakfast and protein W/ 3-4 oz chicken or fish,1-2 cup veggies
Snack= Protein
I am ready to do what ever it takes to make this as easy on myself as I can. My life change is going to take place a month before my re-birthday The real bummer is I can’t have nutra sweet .It gives me massive migraine head aches So I had to order online the pre mixed SF carnation Instant breakfast. At the turn of $208.00 for a months supply. No one in my area sells the premixed (premixed does not have nutra sweet). I hope at least it tastes okay. Oh well I just have to go with the flow.
08/17/2005 Well I am gearing up for the pre-surgery diet but not in the right way. I am big nascar fan ( #8 Dale Earnhardt Jr) this is Rusty Wallace”s last year racing he is retiring at the end of the season. They are calling this Rusty’s last call. So I guess I will call this Dawn’s last call. I seem to be saying goodbye to all my unhealthy favorite foods ,Carbone’s pizza, cheese puffs, mix nuts w/no peanuts , cheese , cookies, Ice cream, The list goes on and on. I do really well during the day but at night I am grazing. I know on the 23rd this all stops. But I am not eating the way I should be. I never buy this stuff because I know I will eat it but I can’t seem to help myself. Maybe I need to do this to purge my system of the wanting so I can move forward. I know as of the 23rd I will be beginning my new life style. I am dedicated to this and will follow it as dictated by my doctor. I just feel like I have to say goodbye to my old food friends.
08/22/2005 Well my goodbye’s are almost done. This weekend it was cake, pizza, prime rib and smashed potatoes. This lunch hour it was a double quarter pounder fries and a large coke and tonight it is a final goodbye to pizza. In the morning I am officially starting my new life beginning with my month long pre op diet. I am excited about this new life change that will bring me closer to my surgery and will follow it to the tee. I want my liver to be shrunk to normal size before my surgery on September 23 I can hardly believe it is only a month away.
08/24/2005 Yesterday was my first day of pre-op dieting. I did really good and even took a mile hike in the park. Today is another story I woke up with a migraine headache about the worse I have ever had. I tried to go to work only to come right back home again and throw up all my protein and carnation instant breakfast drink.What a joy that was.Good news is it is gone after a lot of rest and I was able to drink and keep down my lunch .I feel really wiped out now. Thank God tomorrow is another day
08/29/2005 What a weekend. I wish I could say it was a good one. My husband picked this weekend to let loose on all his negative feeling on my upcoming surgery. He has a lot of fears that I am going to die or lose weight and leave him. Know matter what I say I can’t make him understand how much I love him and how committed I am to our marriage .We have been married 19 ½ years and have had a really good marriage. He feels I will not be able to change my way of life after surgery. He has seen me fail at hundreds of diets and he feels this will be another in a long line of failures except this time I am surgically altering my body and because of that we will never be able to do anything fun again. He is a recovering alcoholic of 23 years so I sure don’t see where he is coming from. He doesn’t drink but that doesn’t stop us from having fun and living a full life. I know he loves me deeply but I need support right now not someone telling me I am a doomed to be a failure. I am doing this for my health not just to lose weight .
08/31/2005 Well today is a much better day I got on the scales today and after a week on my pre-op diet I have lost 13 lbs. that is unbelievable to me. I have now lost a total of 20 lbs since my first visit with Dr.Galvin I can’t remember the last time the scales dipped this low. It is wonderful. I am very excited Mom and I leave in 10 days to go visit my Aunt Debbie and Uncle Harold in Orcas Island Washington. When we return I will only have 5 day till my surgery .Time is sure flying. We planned this trip in January and it just happened to fall this close to my surgery. I am looking forward to some R & R before my big day. Tom is staying home to watch the herd. So it will be some great Mom and me time .My Aunt Debbie was my maid of honor when we got married we have always been very close and I can’t wait to see her and Uncle Harold.
09/01/2005 Well to say I am bummed is an understatement. My surgery had been postponed until October 24( It was September 23).The Doctor is unable to start up the robotics department and I was one of the first robotic patient. I cried my eyes out. I know it’s only a month but I am so ready I have been doing the pre op diet and everything. On the bright side I am first on the cancellation list and Dr.Gavin is now enforcing a strict go gain policy. If you gain even a pound your surgery is canceled. So I guess according to Robin his receptionist there have been a few cancellations since this went into effect. They offered me next Thursday and I jumped on it even thought it would have meant canceling a vacation that has been planned since January. I threw out my back this past Sunday and have been on vicodin and salalate for pain. The two drugs are really hard on your stomach and cause pitting in the lining. My dear husband made me call and tell them about my back and meds and no surgery. I know God has a reason for everything. But boy am I bummed. They also want me to stay on the pre- surgical diet in case of a cancel. I even said I would stop all meds (I was at the chiropractor when they call because the meds are not working anyways).But they want me to be very mobile so I can get up and around after surgery. Now all I can do is hope for another cancellation for when I get back from Vacation.
09/08/2005 Haven’t posted much because I have been so busy getting ready for he big vacation. Mom and I leave early tomorrow morning. I can’t wait. We will be spending 3 day’s in Seattle then up to Bellingham to visit my uncle David overnight and then on to the Island for four day’s. We are going to have such a good time. I haven’t been to the Island in 23 years. It is one of the most beautiful places in the world. I almost moved there after high school but as fate would have it I fell in love with the poster child (Man) for the I LOVE NY campaign. Once I Found love out went the plans to move. My husband would never leave NY he thinks it is the best place in the world. Me on the other hand could do without the winter’s that last 7 months.
I am still hoping they move my date up and am still a little bummed I was pushed back a month but God has a plan and I must trust in his wisdom.
As of today I am down 23 lbs since my first visit with Dr.Galvin.
09/19/2005 What can I say vacation was GREAT .I had a wonderful time visiting my family. Mom was a great travel partner. We had a ton of laughs. We went whale watching and saw quite a few whales pretty close up. I finally saw a bald eagle in the wild it was a mating pair they were so beautiful they brought tears to my eyes. One of the coolest things I did was a ride in an open cockpit bi plane we soared over 2000 feet in the air and I actually got to touch a cloud .It was about the neatest thing I have ever done It sure beat parasailing. No new news on the surgery front. I keep hoping for a cancellation .I did pretty well on my eating. I will weight in tomorrow and know for sure. We did a lot of walking so hopefully I will come out even.
09/20/2005 Happy day I lost 4 lbs well on vacation!!!!!I am now down 27lbs total. I am so excited I passed the ‘I can diet on vacation test”. Now If only a cancellation would come though. I am still keeping my fingers crossed.
09/27/2005 Wow It is weigh in day and I have lost another 4 lbs this week!!!!!!! I now have went from 375lbs to 344lbs that just blows my mind and this is all pre op.
I can’t image what it is going to be like after surgery. I am fitting into things I have not been into in years .It is so cool. My weight has been steady for the last five years at about 365-375. So this is truly mind blowing.Today will be a great day….
10/04/2005 Wow had my last appointment with Dr.Galvin before my surgery date October 24th.It went really well. I am down 37 lbs I was so excited that is a great loss. I no longer trust the scales here at work yesterday they showed a gain of a pound. Marion at Dr.Galvin said their scale had just been recalibrated this week so they were dead on. I have went from 375 lbs to 338 lbs .I can hardly believe it myself. All my questions were answered and I am at peace with everything now I just want to start my new life. Not much else to update I should find out when my pre surgical testing is later this week or early next week
WOW I can’t believe it .I had my last appointment with Dr.Galvin this morning we confirmed my surgery date of Oct 24th.Robin called from the office this afternoon AND THEY MOVED IT UP TO OCT 14 th .I am so excited I could burst. I am at such peace with this and feel so blessed to have been moved up 2 weeks.My rebirthday day is in 10 day’s.
10/9/2005 We I got thrown a curve ball Friday. I called Dr.Galvin's office to let Robin know I was sending in my disability paper so they would be all set to fill out after my surgery this Friday and I was told.Well as of right now we don't have a proctor for Friday so we may not be able to do it.WHAT!!!! She will not be able to tell me till Tuesday if I will be on for surgery Friday. I wish I never called.So it gets better my boss calls right after this and I tell her what's going on and she says.Well as of Friday I have hired someone to take your place well you are out and I can't pay both out you to be there.You might be out of work till your original date of the 24th (Robin told me I would be put back on the 24th ) My disability payment is based on my last 8 weeks of work . so If I don't work the two weeks before my surgery It will effect my disability payments for my whole time out. I sure feel like I am in limbo .I called Robin back and tell her all this and she said she would work as hard as she could to make this happen on Friday. I don't understand how they could call me on Tuesday afternoon and move it up then in that same week on Friday it is all up in the air.Well on the positive size I have a worry free weekend no sense of worrying about a surgery that might not happen in 6 days. My honey Tom was a sweet man this weekend we went out and brought a recliner so I will be comfy after surgery My mother in law insisted on sending a check to put towards it so we where able to get a really nice one.He is picking it up Wednesday so we will be all ready on our end lets hope Dr.Galvin's office is already on their end.
10/11/2005 Great news today all is still on for Friday.What an answer to prayer. I can't believe I only have 4 day to go till my new life.It seems so long ago that I had my first appointment and now here I am .I have to be at the hospital Friday at 11:15am and my surgery is at 12:15pm. Then I have my re birthday and a second chance a life .I feel so blessed not many people get a second chance at life and I do and I will forever be grateful for this chance. I will use this tool like the gift that it is and do my best to re find my health. I am so ready for this change. I am a little nervous about being away from work for so long but my director is bringing in 2 people to do my job so hopefully it will go smoothly .I knew it sounds weird being worried about how thing will be at work when I am gone but I love my job and take great pride in it. I went a little crazy this weekend and dyed my hair black I really like the new dark me.It is only semi permanent so It will only be in a short time it is very drastic .My sweet friend Carolyn said it sure makes me look whiter. I laughed and laughed. I am at a time of refection right now everything I have known is about to change with my eating I feel I have been working towards this for years. I know I am mentally ready for this change and will embrace its coming.
10/14/2005 Just checking in .Today is my surgery day.I have to be at the hospital at 10:15 est.I slept really well last night but poor DH did not.I am ready and waitting I can't believe my day is finally.Well my Son I wish I had just called as I was writting this and wished me luck and told me how much he loves me.He is such a good man,His name is Matthew and is lovely wife is Heather he said they would be up to he hospital tonight.It made me cry he is so sweet.My HD brought him home from work one day all 18 years old of him and he has been around every since 12 years later and I think of him as my Gift from God .We could not have childern so God brought us Matthew and he has filled a big need in our life.We I better go get dressed and wipe my tears.I am at peace with this and very greatful to get a second chance at a healthy life.
10/21/2005 Wow what a wild ride .I am now on the other side and all I can say is this really hurts .I have read hundreds of profiles and I don't remember anyone saying how much this hurts.My surgery was done a week ago today Robotic(DaVinci) lap. I was in the operating room for 8 1/2 hours of actual surgery.My doctor said I was a tough case . I have a total of 9 holes .I blew out 3 IV's till they put a central line in my neck .Sunday 2 day post op I was rushed back into surgery one of my drains was pressing against my bowel and the pain was so bad I thought I was going to die. I finally got the nurse to call the doctor when I said that and my doctor was there in 20 minutes. The Doctor my mom,Tom and the nurse were run pushing me as fast as they could right into the OR.It was very scary.He removed the drain and went over everything.As soon as I came too again. I felt so much better. I was in the hospital for 5 days .I have the most energy right after taking my pain med because the nagging pain is finally relieved and for the most part as long as I keep current with the pain med's I am comfortable .I really though post op would be a lot less painful. I was okayed to give myself the B 12 shots and had my first one before leaving the hospital .I have no trouble getting in my water,protein and vitamins.My last drain was removed yesterday and I do not miss it. Maybe the pain will be worth it if I start losing weight I am still full of fluid.They pumped me full of 2 IV's at a time because I was not passing urine as I should have .I could not even button my pants when I came home from the hospital( They were 2 sizes to big and falling off my before surgery).
10/26/2005 Well things are getting a little better,I actually slept in my bed last night with my DH and it was so nice .I woke up a little sore because I tried to sleep on my side in the middle of the night .Not a good idea.Ouch .I am getting dressed everyday now and Tom and I go someplace for a walk. It has been mostly inside because we are having a cold rainy spell .I can't get over how easily I tire.My drain sight finally stopped oozing the whole drain thing was gross .I am getting in all my protein , water , and vitamin with no trouble. I have had no really problems with my pouch other then pain and a lot of loud groaning in my stomach. I go back for my next check up November 1 I can't wait to see how much weight I have lost.
11/01/2005 I had my 2 week check up today (actually 18 days) and I have lost 24 lbs since my surgery and a total from my first visit to Dr.Galvin of 61 lbs.My current weight is 314 lbs .I am feeling better each day,I just get tired real easy I am only using pain meds as needed ,one day I need it the next I don't. I have no troubles at all since retuning home and Dr.Galvin was really pleased with my progress .I have no depression or head hunger . The only craving I have is apple cider and I know I can not have that at all.My taste has not changed I still like my protein and have no trouble getting it all in .Compared to all the profile's I have read I sure believe I have been blessed. I have bought a bunch of protein bars to try in four weeks when I an have them.For the next four weeks all I can add to my liquids is Carnation Instant breakfast drink,FF /SF yogurt and Stallon pudding.Week 6-12 I get to do puree foods.It amazed me when looking at food label's how much sugar is in everything including protein bars and yogurt . I also got the okay to start walking a little more .I am going to try to go around the block tomorrow.
11/04/2005 Well what can I say I am sick as a dog. I just happened to have a check up with my PC doctor today. I have a sinus infection and no voice.Tom is loving the no voice part. I can't believe it. I am so bummed. I am on children bubble gum flavored amoxicillen liquid and the grosses tasting liquid decongestant ever made. I am so tired.The doctor gave Tom an RX just in case he gets it cause I have got it bad. I really need to start feeling better
11/06/2005 Well still feeling cruddy.This sinus infection is the pits.Tom says it is because I have been doing to much and not resting enough. I hate when he is right.Sooo I have been laying low for the last couple of days and resting. Pete the pouch has been real noisy today , I think its all the meds I have been giving to him. Luckily I have not thrown up once ,he just gets a little noisy and grumbles .I Hope to get out walking tomorrow if I am feeling up to it. Today was such a beautiful day and I had to waste it laying around at least I could enjoy my Nascar.
11/10/2005 Tomorrow I will be 4 weeks post op.So I was in the hospital today with a family member who had a test done.Well I was waiting I walked over to my surgeon office and ask If I could use their scales, I am down another 4 lbs ,My total lost is now 67 lbs. I am 28 lbs since surgery. Not bad,My clothes are now very big and hang off me.It as seems kind of surreal especially when I look in the mirror.
I think I am finally kicking this sinus infection and feeling better.
I am now getting in all my liquids which I am very proud of .Tom's favorite new saying is "DRINK
11/28/2005 I have not updated much lately .Things have been upside down. Mom went into congestive heart failure again and had flash pulmonary edema. She almost died.Just writing it bring me to tears .I don't know how I could live without her. We are best friends.She was taken hospital and they were able to clear out her lungs and she is now home. I stayed with her till she kicked me out. She said she was fine and kick me out after two days and one night.She is very independent and very very stubborn. She is having a huge energy drop but hopfully should bounce back.They will be putting in a defibrillator in December.
As for my weight loss mom bought me a new scale a healthometer FDA approved digital scale/body fat scale .It is so nice.My weight is now 294 lbs.WOW I am under 300 lbs for the first time in 15 years.It feels so good.My total loss from my first appointment with Dr.Galvin is 81 lbs gone forever.Loss since surgery is 44 lbs. I am feeling great.My energy level is mind boggling I am just full of energy and love it.
I have no trouble getting in my protein but all that water can be a struggle.Tom's favorite saying is DRINK.
I have started seeing that my temper can get a little short .I think it might be the hormones.So I have started taking flaxseed oil to see if it will help. I am a real peaceful type person so this is a little out of character for me.We will see how it works. I have also switched to a liquid vitamin supplement from Flintstone chewable's.
I go back to work next week. I have really enjoyed my time off and feel well enough to start back to my normal routine.
This Tuesday I have my 6 week check up so I will post after
11/30/2005 I had a great 6 week appointment with Dr. Galvin.All is going wonderful. I weighted in this morning at 291 lbs .That's 84 lbs since my first appointment and 47 lbs since surgery. I am very happy. I brought in my flaxseed oil and my new liquid vitamins. Dr.Galvin okayed the liquid vitamins but said no flaxseed oil right now it has too much fat.
I am cleared to start back to work on Tuesday. I will miss being home but will love having a pay check again.
Tom and I are going to get away this weekend. We are going to Wellsboro Pa for their Dickens of a Christmas festival.All the townspeople dress the part. They close down the Gas lighted Main street and have horse drawn carriage rides and an open aired market place that sells all kinds of goodies. It is just a great time we have been doing it for years and years. I can't wait to swim in the indoor pool at our hotel.
12/12/2004 Wow has my life changed .I am down 90 lbs total and 53 since surgery. I have more energy then I know what to do with I love it.
My mom gave us quite a scary when she had flash pulmonary edema, we almost lost her .It was a very scary time but all is well now .They will be having a defibulator put in after the first of the year.
I am back to work now and doing just great. I was very missed and that is really nice to know. I have had no trouble returning to work like I said my energy level is great.
The only Ill effect I am having is wild hormones .All I can say is my husband is a saint. I sure hope this passes soon I do not like these hormones. Other then the hormones I have never felt better in my life .I have even had a bunch of people tell me I even look younger I am loving that.
12/19/2005 Wow I am loving this weight loss .I am now down 95 lbs , 58 lbs since surgery .I am feeling great and loving life.
I get between 600-800 calories a day and 60 grams of protein .I called my surgeons office today to see if I could up my vitamin B-12 shot to once every 3 weeks . I seem to lose steam after 3 weeks they will get back to me tomorrow on this. I sure am hoping to have lost 100 lbs by Christmas that is only 5 more lbs in 6 days .That would be the greatest Christmas present ever if it does not work out then it will be the best new years present ever .I can’t believe how far I have come so fast it is a true blessing. I am not to sure how I feeling getting all this attention. People seem to come out of the woodwork when you loss weight. I have a job where I work with the public and everyone who walks thought the door notices my weight loss .I do not like all this attention but there is not much I can do about it so I am learning to live with it. When you are fat you can kind of blend into the woodwork and no one pays a lot of extra attention to you.
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You scored as Spring. You are SPRING. Ever optimistic, you readily greet each day with an open mind, and with gladness in your heart knowing that even should life share its dimness with you, the sun -will- come out.
What Season Are You? created with QuizFarm.com |
12/27/2005 Well thank God it is finally over .This was one of my worst Christmas’s ever. My husband is going thought some stuff and taking it all out on me .I have wide shoulders and can usually handle it. But I am at the end of my rope all he does lately is scream at me. I know he is not mad at me just taking his feeling for someone else out on me. But enough already. I have feelings too. I look forward to work and hate going home lately. The worst part is I don’t see things changing anytime soon He is so full of anger and can’t seem to find peace with the situation. I have prayed and prayed for peace. We have been married for almost 20 years and it has never been this bad. UGH.
I am down 99 lbs total, 61 since surgery. Other then the mess with my husband I have felt good and had a ton of energy. They have switched my vitamin B-12 shot to every 3 weeks and that had been a real help.
12/30/2005 WOW I can't believe It.Its official I am now down 100 lbs since my first visit to Dr.Galvin in May(62 lbs since surgery) . A year ago if you told me this was possible I would have laughed in your face.What a blessing this has been. I am almost in a state of shock .I feel so much better and healthier.My only regret so far is that I did not do this 10 years ago. Happy New years to me and everyone who is on this journey with me.God bless us all.
My dear husband seems to finally me coming out of his funk and returning to his self again.We had a good heart to heart about everything and things are pretty much back to normal Thank God.
01/06/2006 I can’t believe it’s the New Year already .I finally lost that dam pound and I am down a few more this morning I weighted in at 271lbs.Yeah down 104 lbs .I even got my century card .I really need to get a new picture up. Tuesday is my 3 month check up so maybe I can talk my hubby into charging the digital camera to snap a new picture.
I am so excited tomorrow we go to see Matt (son we never had) and Heather’s ( His lovely wife) new house for the first time .They are also having us for dinner I am so proud of them both .They have not seen me since I was in the hospital for surgery in October.
I hope everyone has a great weekend. I know I sure will after work I am off to shop for some cloths that will actually fit me. Everything is sooooooo big now.
01/09/2006 I am doing a little refection now that my 3 month mark is approaching. What a wild ride this has been .I have gained so much from having this surgery.
I can now
Run up the stairs
Fit in any booth or movie seat
Blend into the crowd I no longer stand out as the fattest one
Everything in my closet fits or is too big.
I have super energy
I am not afraid to do things on my own with out my husband (shopping,church,banking,ect)
I am off all meds but thyroid and inhaler
I use my as needed inhale less and less
I sleep well and am rested in the morning.
Food does not rule my life .I eat because I have too not because I want too or am filling a void.
I can come home from work and still have energy to do things around the house
I feel so much stronger inside
I feel in balance
I feel that I am finally in control again
I feel so blessed
Life is good
I love this new life
01/19/2006 things are going great here. I had my 3 month check up and all my labs came back great. I feel better then I ever have in my whole life. Mentally I am on top of the world. My hormones have finally calmed down I think it is the ground flax seeds I add to my Stallone pudding in the morning.
I am finally strong enough to do things on my own. For a very long time I refused to do anything by myself I always made Tom come along. I think I used him to be stronger and did not even realize it. He was like my protector if I felt scared, and for a long time I was scared to do anything alone. In self refection I knew he would keep me safe if anyone said anything about my weight. It was almost like his presents validated me as a person. Kind of like well I am fat but Tom loves me so I am okay, see he is here with me . It is a little twisted but it worked for me. Now I do all my running around alone and I am fine with it. It’s like its okay to be me now that I am a semi normal size and I am not afraid to be alone anymore. I have even started to go to church. Tom would never go, so I would have never gone alone. Now I do. I am not afraid to be on my own anymore. It is a really neat side effect of my weight loss. I still love my husband to death and need him .but It’s okay to just me now. Well enough of my ramblings for now. Today I weighted in at 266lbs down a total of 109 lbs. Life is amazing everyday to me now.
01/26/2006 Well I am at a stand still I can’t seem to move off of 266 lbs. It is driving me crazy. I know this is a normal thing but I hate it. I just have to let go and let God.
Tomorrow my mom goes in to have a pacemaker/deliberator put in. Tom and I will pick her up at 6:45 am and take her to the hospital. I am very nervous about this but again I must let go and let God. Other then that there is not much else to update. I am still feeling great all in all. Monday I was home sick from work I think I was fighting off a cold I laid low all weekend and Monday and I think I licked it. I am feeling back to normal now.
My dear husband has taken some 3 month picture I hope to have up here soon.
1/31/2006 I am home again and back to work. Mom came though her surgery just fine. The only trouble is she is in a lot of pain.
Saturday night Mom and I sat around watched old family videos. All I can say is wow was I large. I was shocked to see on the big screen just how big 375lbs was. I never thought I was so big. Not in a million years. I also realize just how far I have come. Thank God.
I also finally broke my stall and have dropped 3 lbs. Thank God again. I now weigh 263 down 112 lbs.
02/20/2006 I don’t even know where to start. Let’s try last Monday I ended up in the hospital for 5 days with a blocked bowel. This was not fun at all. I was on shots of duloided (sp) every 2 hours for the pain. I never thought they where going to let me out. Friday morning about 3:30 am things started to move again and the pain subsided .They finally let me go home Friday afternoon I don’t wish this on my worst enemy. I was so glad to get home. My husband and Mother were the best during all of this. It was a comedy of error’s my whole stay. My surgeon Dr.Galvin was stuck in Florida unable to get home because of the big storm that hit the east coast he came home Thursday night and I left the hospital Friday am. The nurses on my floor could not understand that I could not have any sugar and all my meal trays had on them that I could eat was broth for the first few days till I ask to speak with someone from dietary. This is the some hospital I had my surgery in only 4 months ago. All I keep saying is I want a baratric clear tray I know you have them please bring me one. When I was put on solids again the first thing they brought my to eat was a blueberry muffin and cranberry juice which of course I could not eat finally the called my nut and had her come down and plan a menu for me the day before I was released. I blew out 4 IV”s that was a lot of fun.
All I can say is better day’s are coming. I am now down 115 lbs and weigh in at 260 lbs
03/09/2006 Well its been a while since I updated things as always are crazy.My weight loss is coming in stops and starts. I try not to let it faze me and I keep doing all the right things. I am now down 121 lbs and feeling great. I have started doing water aerobics twice a week and I am finding out just how out of shape I really am.
A big surprise for me is that Tom and I are moving in August. We have an opportunity to move to Conesus Lake that is totally unexpected and a little overwhelming to say the least. The house is a lot bigger and in a beautiful location. We were not planning on moving but every now and then God throws you a curveball. I am equal parts scared and excited. This is sure unexpected but in a good way.
04/10/2006 Thing are going really well lately. My stall has stopped and I have been steady losing this past week. The change in my physical appearance is mind boggling, sometimes I don’t even recognize myself. I have submitted a new picture and I am waiting for it to show up here anytime. I am now down 136 lbs. Other then a spring cold I feel wonderful. I have nothing to wear anymore the remotely fits. I need to do some serious spring shopping when it gets a little warmer here. I am loving water aerobics and go twice a week. I had to buy a new bathing suit and it was really funny I brought 5 different sizes of suits into the dressing room and still had to go back and get a smaller one. Its going to be awhile before my brain catches up with my new body. I am still overwhelmed with the thought of moving. We won’t be able to get in the house now till September or November so I have more time to get use to the Idea of moving and lots of time for a huge garage sale this summer.
05/29/2006 Well things are going great here I now weight 228 lbs and I am down a total of 147lbs. I am feeling great and loving the new life surgery as given me. Tom and I have a move in date to the new house of November 1st.I wish it was sooner but what can you do. We are getting into the move mode. We are having a garage sale at the end of June and are selling sorting and tossing. It sure is a lot of work but we want a good head start on it all. We are heading out to the lake for the long weekend and I hope to do a lot of porch sitting and reading. We are suppose to get really hot here this weekend so I am bring my suit and hoping to get in a swim or two.
Life has been changing at warp speed for me. I can really relate to Kenny Chesny’s song Living in fast forward. It is even the ring tone on my cell phone.
We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and as a special gift Tom took me to see . Tim McGraw and Faith Hill’s Soul to Soul concert. All I can say is WOW. It was great and I Love TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM. For the first time ever at a concert I was able to buy and wear a concert shirt and I also got a zipper hoodie. The really cool thing is I fit in my own seat and did not take up half of Tom’s seat for the first time in forever. We both Loved it.
I just bought a new summer shirt that kind of sums it all up . It says “Life is good”
06/26/2006 Things are going great. I now weight 219lbs the lightest I have been in over 20 years. I had a weird wow moment this past Friday. I am having a hard time finding a bra that fits. I ended up going to Victoria’s secret and having them fit me. Then went and bought 4 bras at another store. Victoria’s secret is a little pricey for me and I did not think the product was that great for the price. Well before I went there I went to the Avenue the only store I have been able to shop at for the past 20 years thinking they might have my new size. I walked in looked around and could not find the size I needed and ask the sales person if they carried it. She looked at me very sweetly and said. I am not sure if you realize this is a plus size woman’s store and we only carry plus sizes. I almost passed out. She basically looked at me and thought I was too small to be shopping there. I looked at her and said 8 months ago I weight 375lbs and this is the only store I have ever shopped at and walked out. I felt a little displaced and a little scared. I haven’t shopped in a non plus size store in years and years. I went next store to TJ Maxx and found what I needed. It was kind of a bittersweet moment for me. I remember a time I went into the Avenue and was to big to find anything to fit. Now I am too small to fit into anything there. I never shopped around before always just went there when I needed something now I will have to start shopping around. It was kind of a comfort zone for me that I have to step out of now. But as they say change is good.
