precious1
Finally.....I have decided to post a little about me. I have been lurking here for awhile, and have enjoyed the support and inspiration displayed here. I have some experience using the boards, and at ivillage I participated in a weight loss board for a number of years. It is different than here, as someone was always willing to bash someone else for trying this, or success at that. It was disheartening, and when you are struggling with weight anyway...that makes it more frustrating and hopeless. Yes, like most of you....I have been up and down, and every diet had my name on it at one time or another. I was sure that "this one" would work, or that one would finally do it for me. NOPE. Craziness.....all a bunch of nonsense, and I spent a ton of money.
I am soon to be 35 years old, and live in NE Kansas. I have lived here pretty much my whole life, with the exception of a couple years here or there with my husband who is in the military(18 years). I have been married 14 years to the love of my life, and he still finds me attractive at whatever size I am. For that, I know I am lucky. I have three great kids ages 10, 8, and 4. They keep me very involved with sports, and other activities. So what's the problem you ask?
I have been overweight my entire life, and have struggled with a lot of depression, and self-esteem issues as a result. I guess that we all go through this don't we? When asked WHO in my family is overweight? My response is "who isn't?" I have a significant family history of Type II Diabetes, Hypertension, Hyperlipidemia, and cancers. My mother has many health issues at 57 years of age, but is doing well right now. She's unable to drive/work now do to Diabetic Retinopathy, and other issues. She depends on me for a lot of help, and this is so hard on her. She wishes she would have looked into this surgery herself years ago to avoid all of this. Of course, there are no guarantees that this surgery would have helped things, but it sure would have been worth a try. Almost everyone on the maternal side of my family is Diabetic including my brother who was diagnosed with Type II at the age of 28. I am not sure how I have avoided it so far other than I am pretty active, and really watch this by way of yearly AIC, and glucometers from time to time. It is a devastating disease, and it is relentless in what it does to our bodies.
Why now? I started researching this alernative a couple of years ago, but not seriously. I think I was afraid of the procedure, and the finality of it. In my mind I was thinking, "this is it, no more food." Now, as I read the information here, and having gone through all the complications with my mother's health....it all looks much less scary than what could be coming around the next turn of my life. The journey has been a long one, and one full of uncertainty. Uncertain in how I will adjust to this new lifestyle, and trying to visualize how the new person will look and most importantly feel about herself? Will I be healthy afterwards, compared to now. Granted, I have some issues, but I always took comfort in knowing that if I got sick, I would not starve to death. LOL! Just seeing if anyone is reading this really. 
Seriously, I am nervous about what is to come, but so excited about the possibilities, and excited about ME for a change. Anyone understand that?
Where am I now? OK. I have been approved through Triwest, and will be having RNY 12.20.07. I have/am experiencing all the emotions thrown together at once, but mostly have moved past the nauseated nervous "what am I doing stage." My husband and my mother are my biggest supporters, and will be with me through this process. This is a really personal decision to me, and am ready to get on the loser's bench with everyone else. Thank you for taking the time to read about me.....good luck to all of you, and I am sending you hugs, prayers, and blessings for whatever decisions you make in your journey towards a healthier you. Keep me in your thoughts, and prayers....I need all the help I can get to be successful in my journey.
