prettyinpink766

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I named this blog post discouraged for those of you that were feeling like I was about an hour ago. I have been feeling like this for the past few days. I had surgery almost 2mos ago and shortyl began to see the difference, big difference. I could feel the difference in my clothing, my body etc. after about 5th week I was also feeling myself become discouraged because it did not seem to becoming off as fast as I thaught it should. Taking advice from my fellow bloggers here I became enemies with my scale (not because of the advice given to me, but because of my obsession to see what did  I lose, what did I lose!! attitude and then my weight stalling). I slowly started to let depression ease in and soon listened to that little voice say well, just try a little (chips or diet soda, cant tolerate sugar at all, yay!) anything that I wasnt suppose to do. I didnt go on a rampage and I didnttry and kill myself or over eat or anything like that. Its just the "trying" this or that that I know I shouldnt that I allowed myself to do.  I began to start to feel my water retention a bit, losing all the weight I could easily feel a little water retention if nothing more than in my engagement ring.

I could go on and on about how I almost gave up after such a short time, but I wrote this to say, DONT GIVE UP DONT GIVE IN.  I wasnt drinking all the protein shake that I was suppose to when I was suppose to. I wasnt excercising like I was suppose to, I seen myself falling off the wagon and it leaving me in the dust!.. I logged in, feeling like crap to see if there was any hope, was it  too late, had I gone too far (not that I gained weight) but just feeling like that, was it too late?? Had anyone else done this? Am I the only one?  At that moment looking at the post, I prayed and asked my savior Jesus Christ to help me. I didnt want to feel sorry for myself. He told me that it is up to me, I had the surgery, what I'd been researching and keeping on the back burner, then finally bringing into reality by Gods good Grace. Here I have had a major surgery to give me a new lease on life and doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself.

I made a plan and in it, made my menu so that i wouldnt make the same stupid mistake again. Drink my protein like Im suppose to etc. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner menu made and then I got up and did my EXCERCISE!!!  Im so grateful for the chance to have a new lease on life.

For those of you logging in like i did to see if you are the only one that had started eating a few things thatu werent suppose to or started lacking in excercise, drinking or getting in the protein whatever the case...GET UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, USE YOUR TOOL AND DONT WILLINGLY BECOME ONE OF THOSE THAT FAIL AND GIVE IN WITHOUT A FIGHT.  I AM FEELING REAL GOOD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I KNOW IM BACK ON TRACK AND ITS NEVER TOO LATE. 

 New Pics coming soon!!!



Dont give up, dont give in. I feel wonderful right now, and Im

and down to 288!! Im so excited, because i know its that time of the month and im still losing weight! I havent been on a scale in a lil over a week and im so glad cause now i can really see that im losing. Its not all gonna fall off at once but im happy to see the 2's at the least ;) Well, im getting ready to start going to the gym with my niece and hopefully I will be sticking to it, seems like when you can do at home it just makes it to easy and I dont forget, i just sometimes dont do it. I am motivated now tho, and ready to put it to the floor. Its amazing, my daughter hollered upstairs did I want some chicken out the can, and I told her "no thank you, im not hungry, I just had an egg"  Its amazing because that filled me up!! AWESOME... is all I can say, just AWESOME. Thank God for WLS. :)

Sometimes I just wanna pig out, Especially when I smell something that just arouses my senses,lol. But then I think about how I used to feel afterward, how I used to wish i would not have done that, or wake after a night of eating some peanut butter cookies/or honey buns and a coke" OMG why cant I have some more control than I have". Im so grateful that although I had surgery to assist me, im in control and damn proud of it. I am so thankful for this new feeling after a few bites no matter how delicious or hungry,,, I am having the feeling of knowing when to stop. The feeling im not familiar with, Yes the feeling of being FULL. I love it more than cake (and I loveeee birthday cake,lol)
I cant wait til I get the point where I can upload my before and after pictures, that will be a day to remember

I am beginning to wonder what did I do. I know they say that you'll feel like this, but i think thats because so many people begin to feel like that because of the pain, and the things they cant eat. I dont care about what I cant eat and im not in any pain anymore. I wonder why did I do it because of the process which isnt feeling like a process anymore. To get on a scale  and not see it move is so depressing. Im blogging it cause I dont want to seem like all I do is complain.I feel like this is it for me. I feel like im not gonna lose another pound. Im excercising and im beginning to feel like I should just give up....but i cant. I didnt do this for nothing, I did it because I thaught if I work with it and use it and do what im suppose to and dont do what im not suppose to then it would be ok. Sad to say thats not how its feeling. So what can I do now?? Nothing,,nothing more than what I have been doing and hope and pray that it gets better, A LOT BETTER, more sooner than later.

I dont feel nothing is happening, but I guess this is part of RNY.. I dont know, I feel good and I feel like im losing, but dont really see a difference. Im not complaining tho, Im finally on the "other side" ;)   My scale,, I just wanna throw it out the window, one minute im down 4 plbs, i get on the next day and its something 2-3plbs higher?? Makes no sense to me so im just gonna wait til i go back to the doctor to see what ive really lost. I went and seen my better half and he was like WOW, that made me feel so good, I have missed him so much and cant wait til he come home for good. Well, thats all for now, ill be back in a couple of days to update,,,hopefully.

Well, it is Monday July 11th, and it seems like time is dragging by so slow. I think I have hit a plateau,yuck! Anyway, Im down about 30plbs,yay! but i want to lose so much more. Im feeling kinda bad, cause I feel like I should be doing something more to go down. I cant really walk nor drive. It seems like as soon as I think about getting in the truck, My stomatch (only on the right side) hurts like hell. They say its gas, sometimes I think so, sometimes I think not. Sometimes i feel like I should go back to the hospital. I take my Tylenol 3 and go lie down. My kids are so wonderful, they be so helpful. I dont want to scare them. Sometimes I can see where they are thinking, God, why did mama do this to her self. I dont know how to explain to them that there will be good and bad days. When i hurt to the point im crying, i try and suck it up, and tell my baby girl, that one day were going skating. Thats why I did it, just to be healthy and enjoy life with them, (and be able to buy a comfy, stylish winter jacket,lol) But serious, I cant wait til the day, there is no pain in my belly and I have lost the weight that I need to lose. God knows my heart and my intentions. I pray that he delivers me, Be back tomorrow to blog how im feeling!

I do. I hope that I hate the taste of food. Besides me physically and mentally preparing myself for whats to come, good and bad, I never want to feel the way i have about food, ever ever again. I know and understand that this will be a process. There will be good days and bad days. There will be ups and downs, but the reaping of the reward is priceless. I want to be able to slip on a pair of skates and go skating with my daughters, run after my 2 yr old, run and roll in the grass and play catch with my sons. Go for walks, see what its like to go and do things that my weight has held me back from. I want to feel good. I used to say "Dang, if only I was smaller,I wouldn't mind excercising cause I could keep up" It would hurt so bad once I started and sometimes it just felt pointless. I want to know what it feels like to walk in a room and be stared at because of those bad azz shoes im wearing or that killa outfit is hugging in all the right places and my selfesteem is thu the roof! No I never want to "love" food again. I want to be interested in other things in life that I never knew existed. I never want to eat because im stressed, I never want another "comfort" bite of anything. I want to wake without headaches, back aches..body aches period. I want to look forward to the summer months and bright sunny days where no jacket is needed. I want to look forward to going to work outside of the house again instead of at home. All these things and so much more I want and will have shortly, all because God has granted a desire of mine that Ive had for a long time and Im ready now.  I thank him for that, I thank him for the patience he's had with me and the patience he has taught me to have. I have a long road ahead of me, but I am ready to get started with one step at a time. Im ready.

Ok, so im talking to my sis, (my kids aunt) and before she wasnt interested in it RNY, now she has questions and what now and says she's going to a seminar. Im so excited for her, because I knew that she felt like i did and she finally came to me with it. She is such a sweet heart and kind. She so deserves it all. My  main thing I want to do is very simple....I want to go skating. I cant wait to learn and fall on my butt, and get back up without looking like a walrus or something,lol..I cant wait to go shopping like my sis said and get cute little items, slinky (not slutty) dress for that special sexy occasion out on the town. To feel comfy all the time. Her daughter is against as my mom is against it one minute and the next she thinks its ok, she always says im not gonna "beat" her. I wonder if she knows how that makes me feel that she doesnt want me to get it cause she doesnt want me smaller than her?? Pisses me off, but oh well. What really gets me is when folks be like "you dont need it" like they know, especially the ones that dont know, just knocks me off my rocker completely. I have vowed to stop telling people. They dont deserve to know, and i dont deserve to feel like im a failure cause theyre on the outside looking in and and making a ass out of themselves while assuming. Ya feels me???? :)

Im still excited, and still over flowing with anticipation. I had to have my date changed, I just kept thinking about it and although both "events only happen once, I need to be there for my son on his graduation day. I have been putting me off and waiting and holding off this long, I can surely and gladly do it some more for his BIG DAY :) Its been changed to June 20  on Monday. Im not sore about it either.I I have been at my kids school all day and a bit exhausted. Not a real good evening for me ahead, but im claiming in the name of Jesus that there will be absolutely no drama in my forecast today.

 My new "Birth Date" is May 31!!!! Im so excited, my mind is racing. The change to come, my mind state, how i will feel, the life change period. Im so thankful to God. Without him teaching me patience I wouldven have never been able to get this far. Im so happy, and nervous but...ready. Thank you Jesus for this. I am praying for strength for my change to stay and to not fall "victim". To use my tool to the fullest and to not fall off. There is no room for failure. My brother said "I guess you just need the restriction" Well, I say "I guess I do",lol. Much Like the Gospel, I am not ashamed. This is something i have wanted and needed for so long and it is finally here. If the Lord says the same, my new birthday my new life will take effect 05/31/2011 and from that point the sky is the limit!! THANK YOU JESUS!!