proud_mama2
I have always struggled with my weight from about the time I was 9. I was the first person I knew who started menstrating at such a young age. That is when it all began. I was chubby and was supposed to wear a bra. Of course I was made fun of for it so I decided I was not going to wear one and I wore a jacket to school all day everyday. Kids were always so cruel and made fun of me being chubby. I remember coming home from a doctor appointment, don't remember my age, but I was young and was 106 lbs. My whole family were so mean about it and my uncle commented on how his girlfriend was 110 lbs. Needless to say, I felt like absolute crap. I know that my family members loved me and didn't mean to hurt me but those things have affected my entire life.
I really never felt like I was the daughter my mom wanted. We would go school shopping and I would never fit into the "cute" clothes that my mom would make me try on. She always seemed so disappointed by this. My after school snack was usually Top Ramen and my mom would always bring home a candy bar after work. Our kitchen was always stocked with junk food. Of course she enrolled me in Jenny Craig in the summer between 6th and 7th grade. I am happy she did because I was not the fat girl in middle and high school. Atleast not on the outside. I always had the worst self esteem and have never been able to accept myself. I could just blame my mother for the way I am but I decided that she was doing her best and I have learned enough to try and treat my girls diffrently.
I met my husband right after high school and we started dating. In that time I developed Type 1 Diabetes. This came with all sorts of trouble. For one I was constantly sick with bladder infections that were debilitating because they would go away for like 3 days and come back. This went on for about 1 year. I ate to feel better and was so sick that much activity would make me nauseated. I ballooned to 250 lbs before I knew it. I was convinced that I would never be one of those people who weighed more than 200 lbs and if I ever got that way I would just die! Here I am 6 years, 2 children, and countless diets later a whopping 276 lbs. I look in the mirror and don't even recognize myself.
After researching WLS for close to 2 years I have decided that it is going to be the best tool to help me lose weight and improve my health so that I will be around for my children and provide them with the healthy examples I did not have. Now on 3/19/06 I am awaiting my surgery date of 4/6/07...the date that will change my life forever and I am looking forward to it.
