ptsdwidow
Like all of us, my story begins a long time ago. I didn't gain weight overnight! When I was in high school, over twenty years ago, I remember being a healthy weight and having a healthy relationship with food. In spite of the normal teen-aged drama, I was a truly happy person. My weight was never really an issue for me.
My husband and I were married in 1994. He was deployed overseas for the first six months of our marriage. I was fine with that and did not gain weight. My weight began to increase when we learned we were pregnant with twins. The truth be told, our twins are nearly 15 and I have never weighed in at pre-pregnancy weight since. The fact is, I have gained weight every year. Diet after diet has failed--or I have failed--and I'm tired of being fat.
There have been several clinchers. The first one I can remember is picking up the boys from their kindergarten class. My son proudly introduce me with, "This is my mom. She's fat." I couldn't punish him because he was telling the truth, so I just told him to be careful with his words and don't make people feel dumb because they can see that I'm fat. He was only five, but it still hurt.
Countless other times, children have told me how big my bottom is--It's only obvious. After all, it is at their eye-level. I no longer fit comfortably in chairs at the movie or on the airplane, and I'm winded as I climb stairs or walk briskly to the bathroom. On my way to the mailbox one afternoon, I fell. I sprained my wrist badly, but there were no broken or fractured bones. I felt my fat cushion my fall. Thankfully, I only had a little dirt in my mouth. There wasn't a chance that my face would get banged up--my fat hit the ground first.
I realized that I weigh over 900 sticks of butter. That's the weight of two healthy people. I want my life back, so I decided to explore weight loss surgery. I visited the bariatric clinic in mid-September of this year, and I already have my surgery date. Approval from my insurance was not a problem--I am morbidly obese.
Yes, I'm a little nervous. Having your insides altered to lose weight is a major deal. My husband and my children are behind me, and I'm committed to doing my best. I'm tired of being tired and having to decline social invitations. I haven't been on an actual roller coaster or fair ride in a long time. I want to live again.
Well, that sums up my story. My surgery date is January 12. I could have got in earlier, but we are scheduled to be out of town during this Christmas season.
