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SO the good news first..... I lost LBS  from my bypass :) and have been able to do some things I never thought I would be able to do ever again!!!!

while now the pain has gotten to the point that it woke me in the night and the usual concoction was not workign adn I did nto know what to do I was laying there in agony and felt like i was dying!!!!! Finally at 6AM I called mt aunt to come retrive me from my house and be with me at the hospital I was seen immediately wehn I told them my history and recent problem....

They put me on morphine and zofran to get rid of the pain and nausiating feeling......zafran did wonders as always but the morphine was just making me dizzy not helping the pain so finally they switched meds and the new one was working a little bit in small spurts........they took me for a CT scan and for a upper scope.... they found the ulcer through the scope and they found a "swirl in the ct" this they informed me could be a twisted bowel!!!!! WTF this is not ok this is scarry!!!! so I was released from the hospital with all kinds of meds and remind you I have NO INSURACNE NOW!!!

I am going back tomorrow to see my surgeon at 1030AM so I hope he has good news but i havea feeling I am goign to be readmitted to the hospital.... I have a 7 year old little angel at home and I am her sole cutody parent!! I can not afford to be out of work and i can not afford to ahve my healt h be jeprodised either....... I am in so much pain I do not know what to do with myself!!!!! I am terrified!!!!!!

I will post more tomorrow

SO I JUST WANTED TO POST  AQUICK UPDATE LIFE HAD BEEN A LITTLE ROUGH FOR ME FOR A WHILE BUT IS LOOKING UP!

I HAVE KICKED MY HUSBAND OUT AFTER HE HAS ABUSED ME FOR THE LAST TIME AND AM IN THE PROCESS OF ALL THE COURT CASES WITH THE DA AND THE DIVORCE COURT.......

THE GREAT NEWS IS!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE GONE FROM 327 THE DAY OF SURGERY TO 235 LBS AS OF LAST WEEKEND! WOOOOOO HOOOO! THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING FEELING! I HAVE APPLIED TO BE A VOULENTEER EMT AND AM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL! MY DAUGHTER AND I ARE HAVING SUCH A GREAT TIME LIVING OUR LIVES :)

I WILL UPDATE AGAIN SOON HOPE EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING WELL TOO!

WENT TO THE DR. YESTERDAY FOR MY WEIGH IN AND I AM LOST 21 LBS. LAST MONTH!!! WOOPWOOP!!!  MY GOAL THIS MONTH IS 30 LBS SINCE I WILL BE BUSTIN MY BOOTY AT THE GYM!

 living one day at a time! Words I live By!  Well I learned what dumping syndrom was and wow! Nothing nice I tell ya atleast when its over its over thank god! I am doing ok today learning how to deal with thed mental hunger is begining to get easier for me..... Im not saying it is over by anymeans but im finding little tricks to get past it withought the tears! who ever thought I would cry because I couldnt have food! lol I didnt :)  Being back at work and being able to do some small tasks STILL NOT LIFTING NETHING HEAVY FOR A MONTH OR SO MORE BUT THATS OK :) Well I will write another later :)

Helloso yah I made it in and out of surgery and am still alive silly me what a nerd I feel like for thinking nutty thoughts.... Well I am no longer Physically hungry! (never thought I would see the day! I have to say Dr. Kim and the entire surgical team were amazing! and the nurses were great!  Mentally right now it is hard for me to deal with not being able to eat or to concour the mental hunger!   I got  a couple tips from the gals at support group last night and that helped me out so much!  Well I am only a little ove r 8lbs down :( Iwas overeating lol i thought I had to make myself eat 4oz.) it was only supposed to be 1 teaspoon per meal... ooooops. so I am doing good with that now I had a little over 1 tsp. of peanut butter for lunch today and im stuffed lol.....  well I will blog more later!

i AM SO EXCITED! i HAVE A DATE NOW! mARCH 12TH AT 1PM!!!!!! i GO TO THE DR ON THE 4TH OF FEB TO GET WEIGHED IN AND i AM A BIT SCARED THAT i HAVEGAINED WEIGHT i DONT THINK I HAVE BUT I DONT KNOW... I NEED TO GET A SCALE AND I JUST HAVE NOT HAD THE GUTS TO GET ONE YET!!!!!!

Well im getting ants in my pants waiting to have my psych report sent over to the dr. office.  that is the last peice they are waiting for to submit me for approval! i screwed up last night and I need to confess I GOT HUNGRY WHEN I GOT BACK FROM THE GYM SO I HAD ANOTHER BOWL OF RAVIOLIE AND VEGGIES i feel so guilty and woke up with a heck of a tummy ache today! i threw up when i got out of bed yuck!  i have not been doing that lately and here i go messing things up! well atleast i did go to the gym.  i need to keep on top of things a bit better.  

 what to expect? I am not sure what to expect in the next month.  I have started my journey september 7th 07' was my first appointment at cny bariatric center with dr. kim.  I have been gaining a pound here and there since i started my progress and am scared that i cant loose weight and i really want the surgery i need this tool to help me.  I have recently started going to the gym doing 20 min on the eliptical and I have been better now about what im eatingthe ammounts and writing it down. this is so hard and has to be one of the hardest things i have ever done in my life! im just sick of the health risks of being morbidly obease and just want to have a second chance at life and to be able to do more wiht my daughter and my hubbie.  he is nervouse about me doing this procedure as well as my parents and sister  are a bit sceptical but everyone is worried about me that is all and they are all being so super supportive of my lifestly changes that I havebeen having to make.  well i will keepposting and i hope to make friends here!